Читать книгу "Born of the Spirit;" or, Gems from the Book of Life - Zenas Osborne - Страница 8

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For years prior to my conversion to God, I had firmly believed that “strait is the gate and narrow is the way which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.” The consecration to be made in order to receive the grace of God and eternal life seemed to me to include every thing: all we think, speak or do. To meet this demand, my business relations had to be given up. I had used tobacco about twelve years; but in making my consecration to God I left this out. It had never occurred to me that it was wicked to use it; in fact, I had never heard or read that it was. I had associated with the Methodists from my youth up, and knew that her preachers, class-leaders and stewards used it; and having an exalted opinion of them, had come to look upon the practice as harmless. And yet it did seem to me that preachers of the Gospel of Jesus Christ ought to be clean and pure. God the Holy Ghost, let me see, the first time I used it after my conversion, that it was wrong for me to use it. As I put the filthy stuff in my mouth, the Holy Spirit said, “What do you do that for?” This came with such force that I was very much startled. I replied that I used it for the dyspepsia. The Spirit said, “You have no dyspepsia; and if you had, tobacco would not cure it; it rather creates it.”

I then tried to hunt up other reasons for using it, as the Spirit of God continued to press the question, “What do you use it for?” But all my reasons were completely upset by the clear reasoning of conscience and the Holy Ghost. I now perceived that God was trying to teach me the way of life more perfectly. He said, “You have given yourself to me, to be mine entirely.” I said, “Yea, Lord, all is thine.” “Your body is a temple for the Holy Ghost; you are to be temperate in all things; nothing must enter it that defileth; tobacco defileth it. All you possess belongs to God—your money, your time, talents—all are his, and must be used for His glory; hence you cannot spend your money for tobacco.”

A great many ways were pointed out to me in which I could glorify God in a proper use of what He had given to me, instead of an investment worse than useless. Every time that I used it after my conversion, until I wholly abandoned it, this same controversy was kept up. In reading the Bible I found it condemned the practice. I became satisfied that I had got to abandon either the one or the other—my tobacco or Jesus Christ. I could not remain justified and defile myself with it.

Now came the giving up process. I resolved to do it gradually, lest I should be made sick, for the tempter told me that would be the result. I then threw away my box, and carried what tobacco I had down cellar, determined not to use it but three times a day, and thus by a gradual process work a cure. I soon wanted a chew. Down cellar I went and took the weed; it never seemed to taste quite so good before; so self suggested the idea of putting a little in my pocket; I might want a little very much; so I put a little in my pocket; and thus I continued to do until my tobacco was all gone; and instead of carrying it in a box, or in one pocket, I had it in nearly every pocket about me. Oh, how mean I felt when I was brought to a realization of my bondage to such a filthy habit. It had wound its slimy folds about me so long that I seemed to be completely within its power.

But here I resolved to try the strength and power of grace divine. I now determined to be a free man; sink or swim, survive or perish, living or dying, I meant to have the victory over this habit. I got down before God in the dust, told him all about my weakness, and about my miserable habit, and cried, “O Lord, deliver me from this filthy, wicked, intemperate habit, for Jesus’ sake. Amen.”

Blessed be God, help came. I got the victory. Oh, glory to God and the Lamb forever and ever. Every band was severed; I was free, and blessed be God, I have walked at liberty ever since. I have never had the least desire to use the weed since I was delivered from my bondage to filth. Since then I can sing—

“Now I am from bondage free,

Every chain is riven;

Jesus makes me free indeed,

Just as free as heaven.”