Читать книгу The Scroll of Anatiya - Zoë Klein - Страница 13

O to be in the desert with you,

with its ribbons of gold and rose.

2To leave this people

and to hide in a secret oasis,

and to love unashamed

under the open sky

with its voyeuristic sun,

3our bodies sanded and rose-colored.

4The desert stares like the giant amber eye

of a lion, purring,

we dance and leap, two flecks,

where nobody heeds us

~wrote Anatiya.

5O friend of my heart,

were you only my brother

we could suckle from the same breast.

6We could speak loudly across the marketplace,

“Peace, sister! Peace, brother!”

7You could embrace me and kiss me lightly.

If only you were a nobody like me!

8If only you were insignificant, overlooked,

we could shout our careless love with trumpets

and none would pay us any heed!

~wrote Anatiya.

9I assure you, the place in my dreams does exist.

10A place on the opposite side of the world

that is the opposite of everything here.

11A garden springs up in the midst of an orchard,

and a stone bench—

carved in the manner of Betzalel,

overlaid with gold,

two cherubs leaning in, wings touching

to form a seat for two—

waits by a fountain that spills,

whose bubbles are the giggling of children.

12The opposite of everything here,

the sandy road is a pathway of precious stones

crushed into glittering dust

~wrote Anatiya.

13Paradise is only as far as the flame from the wick.

14A bench in the manner of Betzalel

waits for two lovers to rest and find repose,

to gaze into each other’s eyes

as into green pastures,

15while vines thick with roses entwine round their legs,

while their footprints fill with spring poppies

and lilies drop out of the sky.

16I know this place is called Milashuri,

and when we go there and grasp hands and find repose,

the spirit will move the cherub’s wings

and lift the lovers over many ladders of cloud

upon the chariots of Amminadab.

17Dear Lord, in Your wisdom

You understand this girl,

whose life is but a forgotten dream,

whose heart is a shattered urn.

18Gather these pieces, merciful Lord!

Fit them into a mosaic on the Temple floor,

and let the high priests tread on my desire.

19I am but dust, my Lord.

Sweep me up!

Sweep me in Your kindness

into Divine Evermore!

20Jeremiah is being scolded on behalf of all people. God’s words are fire-filled hailstones. 21God gave His only daughter to Israel as a bride, and she has returned to Him bruised and mistreated. 22Downcast and dejected, she frets about Heaven, twisting her porcelain hands. 23“Don’t avenge Yourself upon him, O Father, please! He is a good husband, with a pure love in his heart, I swear unto You! 24He is just a bit young! A little stubborn, a little human, dear Father! Don’t scatter him, don’t slay him. 25You can’t expect him to be just like You!” 26But God looks upon her and weeps. He says, “Once you had no creases on your brow, and your eyes were clear as a river.” 27He lifts up His sword to chase Israel. Torah falls to her knees and clutches His robe.

28She cries:

“It is only because I have become human in his arms!”

29She seizes the corner of His robe and it tears.

30He turns to her in anger and says:

“I have this day torn your marriage with Israel.

Summon the dirge-singers! 31Let them wail for you.

From now on the sons of men shall not

take wives from among divine beings.

32My breath will not dwell in them forever.”

Her tears wash over the mountain of the north.

33The sound of her wailing

is heard from Heaven.

34She clutches the golden ring

which Moses himself handed her

when she appeared to him

in blazing beauty.

35God is so jealous,

so livid when He looks at the hearts of men

that He forgets the redemptive love

found in the hearts of women!

And so I cry out, “I love!

“I love!

“I love!”

36My ears receive the teachings of Your mouth,

and yet, death creeps over my windowsill,

consuming the feathery hopes of young virgins

and of the frightened mothers with babes in their bellies and arms,

only because they stand innocently in Your barreling way

to cut off all the men from the squares.

37To punish You for tearing her marriage,

to punish You for pursuing her groom,

to punish You for the loves You left

piled like sheaves behind the reaper,

38Your daughter erases the names of the women from her scroll,

Your careful latticework of female legend she blots out, saying:

39“If You will not see us in Your wild stampede,

than I will not have You write us!”

40God is in search of man

and man is in search of God,

and woman is irreconcilably lost

~wrote Anatiya.

41You take note of the circumcised of Israel ~wrote Anatiya~ 42You count them with half shekels. When do you count me? 43Am I the same as a forlorn girl of fourteen from Egypt or Edom, Ammon or Moab? 44Who am I in this great House of Israel? I will tell You who I am. 45I am the Temple treasure. I am the whisper of the secret name in the Holy of Holies. 46I am the quickened pulse. I am the blood that purifies the altar. 47I am just as You are, my God and my Redeemer, I am that I am. I will be what I will be.