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January 2015

The other day someone at our home group had to be interrupted by one of the long-timers in the room. What could cause an interruption like this, you ask?

Our group conscience says that the needs of the group come before the individual … in line with our First Tradition. The limited time we have available is for carrying the message, not for providing a forum for someone to carry out a rant about how their life is all messed up. We try to be as tolerant as we can, but sometimes the meeting needs to get back on track. Where did I learn this?

Some 25 years ago, when I was a newcomer, my life was a complete mess. I was in a treatment center and learned to express my feelings in the group. However, the folks in AA were not so sure that was the answer. A couple of times people in meetings with a lot more time than me explained that it was in the best interest of the group that the members practiced the principles. My sponsor explained that it was best for me to call him with my problems and not to use up the group’s time to vent all my feelings. He told me that it was OK to share about a problem no more than three times at a meeting. And I needed to try and share what kind of a solution I was going to be applying to the problem. He wanted me to get away from wallowing in my problem with its accompanying self-pity. Sometimes he would just ask, “What Step are you on?”

It does take some courage to interrupt someone when they wander off track, but in the long run it’s best for the group. In my case, it was best for me in the long run, too.

There are times, however, when interruptions in meetings are not necessarily for the good of AA. All too often I see a meeting interrupted with shouts of “Who are you?” when someone sharing inadvertently forgets to properly identify themselves. To me, this shows a lack of compassion and patience. Interruptions should be few and far between, such as when someone is disrupting the group. It’s actually best to talk to someone after the meeting, so that they are not made to feel less than.

If you’re ever in the Roseburg, Oregon area please stop in for a visit to my home group, the Brown Bag Group. It meets Monday through Friday at noon. You’ll be made to feel welcome and will probably be asked to share. Newcomers are always welcome.

Ken T.

Tenmile, Oregon