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July 2000

I’m very protective of my home group for the same reason that most alcoholics are: if the group doesn’t survive, neither will I. A couple of months ago at a business meeting, my home group had a heated discussion over whether or not to say the Lord’s Prayer at the end of our group’s meetings. Saying it certainly seems to contradict AA’s claim to have no affiliations with any sect or denomination. Furthermore, as a skittish newcomer, I remember being very uncomfortable sitting in a church basement saying a prayer that’s a prominent part of Christian liturgy.

But my sponsor said, “Get over it.” And I have to admit, it has never hurt me to say a prayer, especially one conceived by a loving teacher, teaching me to praise God’s name, to wish for God’s will to be done, and to remind myself I will be forgiven only to the degree that I forgive others.

The Lord’s Prayer certainly feels paternalistic. (So, does that mean we should be saying the Hail Mary instead?) The Serenity Prayer may feel less sectarian, but it stems from religion, too. So in that case, rather than wishing to shut the door on our past, maybe we should acknowledge AA’s debt to the Oxford Movement, Reverend Shoemaker, Father Dowling, and Sister Ignatia, just to name a few.

Have I managed to offend you yet? To get your juices going? Because that’s what happened at our business meeting. We all got churned up and disagreeable. And afterward, there was a hangover, a lingering air of resentment. Now when we form a circle and join hands at the end of our regular meeting, we all feel the tension. A moment that used to exemplify our unity now underscores our differences.

The idea that issues and resentments generated in a business meeting are spilling over into the “real” meeting troubles me. I suppose without business meetings, resentments might smolder anyway, but I think we fanned the fire. I got the feeling that things were just going too smoothly for us drama-loving alcoholics, so we latched onto something controversial to add a little excitement to the proceedings.

To the extent that we were just “stirring the pot,” we were following a longstanding tradition in AA. But not the Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous. One Tradition calls for us to “practice a genuine humility” and to silence “the clamor of desires and ambitions whenever these could damage the group.” For me, that clamor is the need to comment on everything, to throw in my two cents so you’ll know just how smart I am. It’s the urge to jump in and mix it up as if a business meeting were a barroom brawl. I need to practice some restraint, to emulate the example of the elder statesman in Tradition Two who “is willing to sit quietly on the sidelines patiently awaiting developments.”

My friend G. had an interesting suggestion: why not hold our business meetings standing up? I know I’d pontificate less if I had to stand more. How often have I told myself, If I have to sit through this meeting, then I should at least get to air my point of view, even if it’s already been expressed by several others. Maybe our feet are better judges of when we’ve said enough than our minds.

And if business meetings were shorter and to the point, maybe more people would get involved. Since our group conscience is how the loving God expresses himself to us, the more conscience, the more God, right? Let the primary purpose of a business meeting be to make sure the rent is paid, the key positions are filled, and there’s enough literature and sponsorship available to help the newcomer. Keep it simple. Tradition Nine says, “Alcoholics Anonymous needs the least possible organization.” Save the controversy for a letter to Grapevine. Our “meeting in print” has shown for over 50 years that it can handle controversy. It even thrives on it.

Of course, I should have a bit more faith in my group’s ability to weather contentious business meetings. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. In which case, I have just made much ado about nothing. I probably should have written this standing up.

J. W.

Maplewood, New Jersey