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Should we do something about our habit of criticizing ourselves?

– It should be forbidden!

– Of course. More than that – I advise you to start praising yourself! You fed yourself – “Good job!” You’ve done something good for yourself, treat yourself well – “What a good girl (or a boy)!”

Olga Vladimirovna Tsyganova, 28, economist, lost 110 lbs This story about Zina came into my mind again. I had a good laugh and then started to think about it. When I heard this fact of life, it was a shock for me. Why? It’s a simple description of my typical behavior, my actions. But I’ve never understood or realized it before.

Just like most of us, I blamed and scolded myself, called myself an idiot. Of course, I still call myself an idiot sometimes, but in other life situations. Now I praise and indulge myself much more often, and I advise everyone to do the same. Moreover, I allow all the other people around to pay me compliments and enjoy them so much! Why not? I deserved it. I am smart, slim, and beautiful.

Group session of psychologist

Artyom Andreyevich Ovechkin:

– Many people do not have a habit of praising themselves. It’s really bad because then they start to kick and blame themselves. It makes everything even worse. Mood, self-esteem, well-being, and efficiency – all these factors are getting lower.

Words like “idiot,” “pig,” “cow,” “screwhead,” “ham-handed,” “you are terrible” – come from childhood. Then a person grows up, but there are hours and hours of “audio records” in his head, in his memory. Parents and teachers scolded us when we were kids. Then a person grows up and starts to scold himself just like his parents and teachers did before. He spoils his life with this endless scolding without even knowing it. There is an old Chinese saying: “Call yourself a pig for ten times, and you will grunt.”

What if you call yourself a superstar ten times?

– You’ll shine and twinkle!

– That’s why we have to praise ourselves!

Olga Vladimirovna Tsyganova, 28, economist, lost 110 lbs. As they say: “Say good things about yourself often. The source will be forgotten, but the information will stay”. The others will see your good, positive side too.

Group session of psychologist

Artyom Andreyevich Ovechkin:

– So, self-scolding is forbidden.

That’s why we praise ourselves. I’ll give you at least a few reasons. Please tell me what we improve by praising ourselves regularly.

– Mood.

– Fine. What else?

– Self-esteem.

– Of course. When we are in a good mood and appreciate ourselves, how will it affect our lives? What will be improved?

– Relationship!

– Yes! Besides, we become more productive, both at work and at the creative activity. Wherever you look, there are only advantages.

But it’s so hard to make people praise themselves. I have to force them to do it. Most people do not have this good habit.

Let’s write down our homework. Set aside one clean sheet for homework. It would help if you wrote down there all the homework. Now, write down your first task. Tomorrow morning you have to praise yourself at least five times until our meeting. You should especially praise yourself for self-nurturing. I fed myself regularly – well done, I took lunch to work – what a clever girl. I overslept and came late to work – it’s OK, at least I’ve got enough sleep. Well done!

– ☺

– The glass is half full, not half empty. A positive attitude is all we need!

Tomorrow I’ll ask whether you have praised yourself five times or not. A typical excuse I usually hear: “I don’t have time for it”. It’s irresponsible. Agree? How much time do you need to praise yourself? Five seconds. So, “no time” won’t work. I’ll ask you about praising tomorrow.