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The right professional in eight easy steps

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To build an effective team, you must choose professionals with whom you can work, and who will be working in your best interest. Here are some tips to help you find professionals who are right for you:

1. Start by getting referrals from family and friends, or other professionals with whom you have worked.

2. Look for professionals with whom you are comfortable. It is important that that person’s style matches your needs. Some people in the midst of a divorce want to feel in control, some want to feel empowered, and some simply want direction and a lot of hand-holding. A professional who takes direction from the client but gives little unsolicited input will not suit the latter type of client, but will be raved about by the person who wants control.

3. Ask the professionals you are considering hiring about their experience in dealing with your particular issues. You are within your right to ask for references, and if appropriate, to be shown samples of their work.

4. Check references. It can be very costly changing a professional in mid-stream. Ask the person who referred you what he or she was looking for when he or she hired that professional, and what he or she liked most and least about working with that person. Ask also what he or she would change if he or she were doing it over.

5. Find out what the professional’s fee structure is, how you will be billed, and for what you will be billed. Ask for a ballpark figure for the work to be done. However, don’t make your decision based on price alone. The final price will be determined by many factors outside the control of you and your professional. Financial advisors must be particularly careful when it comes to method of payment. If they are paid or are going to be paid by commissions from future sales, they may be open to charges of conflict of interest, which will negate the integrity of their opinion if the case does end up in court. It is best for you to ensure that your entire team is paid on a fee-only basis.

6. Ask about service details. How soon can you expect your calls to be returned? What happens to your case if the person with whom you are dealing falls ill or something else comes up? Ask about the number of open cases he or she currently has.

7. Ask about anything else that is of concern to you.

8. When you are meeting with a professional for the first time, take someone along who knows you and whose opinion you trust. Compare notes afterwards.

During the divorce process, you may also need the services of accountants, appraisers, actuaries, and career counselors for the following reasons:

Accountants can analyze books of a business to determine the value of the business — very useful in cases in which one or the other party has business interests. An accountant can also help you determine whether or not your spouse has hidden assets.

Appraisers can determine the monetary value of any particular asset, thereby giving you much-needed information when you are bargaining a settlement. How much is your house worth? Or your collection of antiques? Or a stamp or coin collection? An appraiser can help you answer all these questions.

Actuaries are people who compile and analyze statistics. Actuaries are normally used to calculate the real value of a pension, which can be difficult to determine. The value of a pension shown on a pension fund’s annual report may or may not be useful for property-division purposes. A pension is a valuable asset, and you’ll want the most accurate figures possible when working out your divorce settlement.

Career counselors are used whenever information about career possibilities and choices are required. A career counselor may be used to evaluate the potential future earning of a spouse, for the purpose of determining spousal support. For example, suppose one spouse had supported the family while the other went to medical school or law school, and the divorce happened soon after the newly graduated spouse entered the workforce. A career counselor may be consulted to determine the future earning potential of that spouse so that proper restitution can be made.

Another instance in which a career counselor may be used is if one spouse stayed home as a caregiver to the family. During the divorce proceedings, the supporting spouse may make allegations as to the high-earning potential of the stay-at-home spouse due to previous education. A counselor can give a realistic view of the stay-at-home spouse’s income potential due to age, education, experience, and workplace demands.

A career counselor can also help you move forward into your post-divorce life.

A qualified, well-chosen team working on your behalf may help you avoid mistakes and decisions that could prove very costly to your future. The financial effects of divorce are not only immediate. They can also persist right into old age.

The following article is from the Smart Marriages Archive, reproduced in the Divorce Statistics Collection by Eric Beauchesne. The data referred to in this article is Canadian; however, because Canadian and American demographics are so similar, it could just as easily be applied to the United States.


OTTAWA — Baby boomers, particularly women, may end up paying a high price in old age for their soaring divorce rates, a cost that taxpayers would likely share.

A collection of essays by Statistics Canada and university researchers on the “consequences of population ageing” warns of the impact for divorced elderly boomers and for their adult children.

“A number of events could interfere with the effectiveness or the informal support network of the elderly in the future, the most significant of which is probably divorce,” it says. “A number of surveys tend to show that the helping relationships and exchanges among divorced parents and children are not as strong as others, mainly in the case of men.”

However, it is divorced female boomers who are in danger of being the major victims in old age, at least financially, and that could weigh heavily on the cash-starved and strained social safety net.

Divorce may already be hurting elderly parents of divorced baby boomers.

“Divorced parents are inclined to give less, both financially and in terms of other forms of support, to their adult children,” said one of the authors, Ingrid Connidis, director of the interdisciplinary group on ageing at the University of Western Ontario in London, Ontario. “In turn, adult children who are divorced are inclined to give less to their parents, and adult children whose parents are divorced are less inclined to give to their divorced parents.

“In general, women suffer more financially than men do,” Ms. Connidis said in an interview. “It’s a function of divorce, there’s no question.

“But if you compare men who have divorced with men who have not divorced, they also experience financial consequences,” she said. “They have fewer financial resources than their married male counterparts.

“Overall, however, it tends to be women who suffer more financially as a consequence of divorce,” she said.

Widowhood is currently the major reason unattached elderly women, who have among the highest poverty rate of any group of Canadians at 42%, are without a spouse and the financial support that offers.

That is changing. “Trends in divorce rates indicate that widowhood will decline, and divorce will increase as the basis for being unattached in old age,” says the report.

“On the one hand, we can assume that the difference in life expectancy between men and women will shrink, with the result that more couples will be together in old and very old age,” it notes. “On the other hand, divorce, which is rising sharply in this generation, will deprive a number of baby boomers of a spouse.”

The divorce rate among baby boomers is sharply higher than among earlier generations, Statistics Canada census data show.

The proportion of the population that was divorced at age 35 to 44 was about 14% for boomers born between 1947 and 1961, dramatically greater than the 10% for people born between 1937–46, 6% for those born from 1927–36 and a mere 1% for those born from 1917–26.

If anything, the divorce rates may greatly understate the level of family breakups, says Leroy Stone, Statistics Canada’s associate director general of analytical studies.

“It could be that as you go deeper into the baby boom generation, you had more and more people staying out of marriages and going into common law, so that by the time they got to 35 to 44, there’d be less of them to be divorced because they hadn’t got married in the first place,” he says.

“And the breakups in common law are way, way higher than in legal marriages. I mean way higher, and the impacts on children are really sobering because they tend to happen when the children are really young much more often than with the legal marriages.”

That would suggest the bonds between common-law couples and between them and their children would be even weaker after a split than among members of a family divided by divorce.

And on balance, the researchers “predict that the number of individuals living alone in old age will show new and sustained growth” once the first of the baby boomers begins to reach age 65 in 2011.

But divorce, not to mention the breakup of common-law relationships, may not only “lower the amount of support from children to their older parents” but also the financial help that the parents are able or willing to give their adult children.

Research has shown “that older parents with intact marriages give more support for their adult children than do those whose marriages have been disrupted by widowhood or divorce.”

“The problem that we have when we talk either about government policy or the implications of trends,” said Ms. Connidis, “is that we apply our current understanding to a very different group of people.

“If we look at the parents of the baby boom, they’ve generally been fairly well off,” she said. “The situation for the baby boom could be quite different.”

A problem, however is that researchers don’t know what the price to individuals, and taxpayers, of divorce on the elderly might be because most research has focused on the impact on children.

Bob Glossop, of the Vanier Institute of the Family, agrees with the Statistics Canada report that more research is needed.

“We’ve never thought forward to the impact of divorce on an ageing population,” he noted.

And there are potential safety nets for divorced women. For example, more have been in the labor force than in earlier generations, they tend to be closer to their children after a divorce, and they appear more able to form social support networks than men.

The purpose of including the above article is to make the point that financial reality, not emotions, should be a primary motivator in the settlement negotiation process.

Your future — not the playing out of old patterns or the settling of old scores — is what your divorce settlement should be all about. Staying focused on the future can help you obtain the best settlement possible.

Divorce Dollars

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