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‘GUANTANAMERA’

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As you will come to realise, ‘Guantanamera’ provides the basis for a whole raft of supporters’ songs. The tune’s roots are based in Cuba and, strangely, the song is about a man’s love for a steak sandwich-making woman. The beauty in this tune is that each tribute is never longer than two lines, making it instantly recognisable among those in the stands.

Score in a brothel! You couldn’t score in a brothel!

Score in a brothel! You couldn’t score in a brothel!

[We’ve all been there. No, not a brothel – on the terraces when a serial opportunity-squanderer misses the target once again. Victims in the past include Diego Forlan, Ade Akinbiyi, Didier Drogba (before he turned decent), Peter Crouch and many more.]

Small town in… [insert name of hated village/town/city/county/country here]

You’re just a small town in…

Small town in…

You’re just a small town in…

[Typical chant taunting a club’s stature. Arsenal fans sing ‘You’re just a small town in Fulham’ to Chelsea supporters.]

One [insert player name…]

There’s only one…

One…

There’s only one…

[General admiration for a player. A quick glance at the electoral register would prove most supporters wrong when they sing this, but we get the point. Hull fans brilliantly sang ‘One Gordon Ramsay’ at Norwich in 2006 as they mocked Canaries supremo and top chef Delia Smith.]

Live round the corner!

You only live round the corner!

Live round the corner!

You only live round the corner!

[Mainly sung to Manchester United fans when they are at an away match in London. The song plays on the stereotype that half the United supporters in the country live in London and only started following the team when they started to become successful in the early 1990s.]

Down in a minute!

We’re going down in a minute!

Down in a minute!

We’re going down in a minute!

[Gallows humour from fans witnessing their team on the verge of relegation.]

Gone Christmas shopping!

You should’ve gone Christmas shopping!

Gone Christmas shopping!

You should’ve gone Christmas shopping!

[Festive fixture going to plan? Sing this to your rival supporters.]

Juan Pablo Angel!

There’s only Juan Pablo Angel!

[Well done, Aston Villa. Great word-play from the Villains, saluting Columbian striker Juan Pablo Angel.]

Sing when you’re winning!

You only sing when you’re winning!

[A sly dig at fair-weather football fans who only seem to become vocal when their team is doing well. During a World Cup qualifier in 2008, Scotland supporters sang ‘You only sing when you’re whaling’ to Norway!]

Shall We Sing a Song For You?

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