Читать книгу Guilt: The Sunday Times best selling psychological thriller that you need to read in 2018 - Amanda Robson, Amanda Robson - Страница 27

Sebastian seems to spend nearly all his time with us. In my flat. It’s all happened so quickly. From the minute you saw one another, you just had to be together. He doesn’t seem to want to spend much time in his family home. He doesn’t get on too well with his parents these days apparently. He is even giving me some money for rent now. Zara, you insisted. I didn’t feel happy as it makes the arrangement too formal. Too difficult to break away from.

I still have to work with him too. Fortunately he hasn’t sexually harassed me again, thank goodness. So perhaps it was an aberration. A one-off. I would so love to believe that. But can a leopard change its spots? I think I’m right not telling you, Zara, when you love him so much. But sometimes, just sometimes, I think not knowing his true nature in the end may cause you harm.

As soon as I think that, my mind twists, remembering the fear I felt both times when you almost took your own life. It comes back to me with such clarity. Walking through the hospital not knowing whether you were alive. Then I remind myself you must never be told about Sebastian’s behaviour. Deep inside I know that is right.

So for the first time in our lives, since you met Sebastian, we are experiencing a slight distance between us. We, who were always so tight. Despite all our differences. Despite the way you fluffed your A levels and didn’t go to uni. Despite my success, my degree, my job. Despite your popularity when I am so quiet. What has caused this? Is it my fault? Is it because you’ve never loved anyone else as much as me, until now? Until now, whenever I’ve needed you, I’ve always had you to myself.