Читать книгу Healing PCOS - Amy Medling - Страница 10
ОглавлениеEveryone has a rock bottom. I remember mine clearly. My husband came home from work one day to find me lying on the couch listless and hopeless, my boys, ages four and one, running wild. I could not muster the energy to play with them, these babies I loved so dearly, had wanted so badly, and worked so hard for. My fatigue and other PCOS symptoms had drained the life out of me. I wasn’t the mom and wife I wanted to be and knew I could be.
I saw myself through my husband’s eyes that afternoon. I saw myself and knew it was time to take control of my health and my life. This woman on the couch was not me. Moreover, I didn’t want to be her.
Until that moment, I had followed my doctors’ advice. I took the tests they suggested and the drugs they prescribed. But nothing was working. At this “aha” moment, I realized that I had to stop being passive about my care. I needed to take control of it and educate myself about PCOS, so that I could make informed decisions. I needed to become my own advocate, and to do that I knew that I first needed to change my frame of mind. I had to want to feel better; I had to know in my heart that I could heal and that I deserved to feel better. Realizing that I was worth saving changed the way I thought about my life, my body, and my PCOS. Once my mindset shifted, I began my journey of thriving with PCOS.
Choose to Be a PCOS Diva
You may be asking yourself why “Think like a PCOS Diva” comes before “Eat like a PCOS Diva.” You are wondering why you can’t just exercise, eliminate gluten, and be all set. You cannot. Here’s why. If you do not think like a PCOS Diva, you cannot be a PCOS Diva (not for long at least).
Being a PCOS Diva involves a conscious manner of thinking that is the key to making the PCOS Diva lifestyle sustainable. In order for diet and lifestyle changes to work, you must believe that you can feel better and know that you deserve to feel better. With this mindset shift, you will eliminate the chance for failure or self-sabotage. When you expect to succeed, you will find a way to overcome any minor setback, because you are on your chosen path. Setbacks (although frustrating) become an opportunity to learn.
Imagine it like this. You and your friend are on your way to dinner at a restaurant you’ve been wanting to try. On the way, you find that the bridge to get there is washed out. You can still go, but you have to take a detour that adds an hour to your drive. You will likely choose a different restaurant tonight, right? Now imagine that you own that restaurant and it supports your family. You need to be there to open the door for the employees and customers. You will find a way over this obstacle. You will take the detour. Heck, you might build a raft or swim!
“I have been a PCOS Diva for a year now, and I feel healthy and alive. I actually want to go outside and run around with my eleven-year-old, and my relationships have shifted in a huge way. I finally believe in myself and can say for the first time in my life that I feel love and compassion for myself, which allowed me to believe that my husband loved me no matter what. This was a big one for me, because I realized that I had been living my life with the belief that I didn’t deserve to be loved; not by others or by myself. I feel strong and capable and know that I have control over the whole big picture of PCOS now.”
—NICOLE M.
If you believe that you must be at your destination, you will find a way. Healing is the same. It is much harder to give up on something you know you deserve, something you must be, something that is a part of you. You will make choices and take actions based on thinking like a PCOS Diva, you will start to feel better, and the PCOS Diva lifestyle will stick for life.
Mastering Your Mindset
The victim, fighting, and lack mindsets frequently hold us back. By upgrading these mindsets to in control, partnering, and abundance we will upgrade your thinking to the PCOS Diva level.
From a Victim to an In-Control Mindset
A victim is someone who has been hurt or taken advantage of by someone or something and feels helpless in the face of the circumstances. I can understand why many women with PCOS feel like victims of their syndrome. I did. Living each day with frustrating and often embarrassing symptoms can wear you down and make you feel helpless. The feeling of helplessness grows when doctors’ advice and drugs don’t seem to help.
The problem with considering yourself a victim of PCOS is that the very act of deciding you are a victim takes away your power. Victims are powerless against their circumstances. When you decide that you are a victim, you choose not to act and take control. You choose to let circumstances or symptoms “win.” You stop looking for solutions.
The fact that you have PCOS isn’t your fault. Choosing to be a victim is. Here’s the thing: PCOS Divas are not victims. We are not powerless. Our bodies have not betrayed us. We are not helpless in the struggle against our symptoms.
Step one to thriving with PCOS is deciding that you can thrive with PCOS. So PCOS Divas take control of two things. First, we take control of our mindset and begin to think like a PCOS Diva.
I deserve to feel good.
I take steps to feel better.
I can thrive and live my best life.
I work with my body.
I am in control of my PCOS (or at least I am working on it).
Step two is taking control of our body, what we put in it, and how we use it and care for it.
I eat in a way that shows I love my body.
I move in a way that I enjoy and makes me strong.
I seek out knowledge about PCOS and how to heal.
I ask for support.
I don’t take the first answer I am given. I research and get second opinions.
I treat my body and mind with love and respect.
“I have never felt better about myself. I sit here crying because I am getting healthy! I am taking my life into my own hands. I am no longer a victim. I do not have to live like everyone else is going to fix it. I see life through new eyes, and I have the ability to choose good things. To choose health. To choose self-care. To choose self-nurture. To choose me.”
—NELDA
When you stop playing the victim and take the power into your hands, you make the decisions that make you better. There is no waiting around for things to get better on their own or for a doctor to prescribe a magic pill. You’re in charge!
A PCOS Diva is not a victim (feeling hopeless and looking for pity). She is in control (in charge and hopeful).
Good news. You’re already embracing an in-control mindset. Choosing to become a PCOS Diva is empowering. Choosing this book was an empowering decision that set you on the right path. You are taking control. You are already on your way!
From now on, you will make a conscious choice every day to be in control of your health, happiness, and PCOS. Positive habits, like eating foods that heal your body, will spring from that choice.
From a Fighting to a Partnering Mindset
Now that you are taking control of your PCOS, it’s time to get your mental and physical selves working together. I often hear women say they are “fighting” their symptoms or “conquering” or “battling” PCOS. Let’s stop approaching our lives that way. Here’s why. When you have symptoms, it is not that your body is fighting or sabotaging you. Symptoms are your body’s way of communicating with you. Think of it as your body waving a red flag that something is wrong and asking for help. For example:
Irregular periods → “Our hormones are out of whack. Can we fix this?”
Acne → “We have some inflammation going on. Can we tame these flames?”
Weight gain (especially around the middle) → “Our insulin is way too high. We are processing as fast as we can, but let’s get this under control!”
The moment you team up with your body and listen to its signals, you can hear those signals more clearly and soothe the symptoms in a loving way.
Divas take control of their health one step at a time. We know that our bodies are sending us signals about what is wrong and how to fix it. We work hard to tune in to those messages and work in sync. We don’t fight ourselves!
From a Lack to an Abundance Mindset
Approaching life from a lack mindset means focusing on the things that don’t go our way or what we don’t have. Instead, we can consciously choose to approach life from an abundance mindset, celebrating every day’s small triumphs and blessings.
Approaching the day from a place of abundance, gratitude, and positivity, looking for the good, changes everything. You will start to feel lighter and your stress levels will fall, and as a result you will begin to feel better. Solutions will present themselves.
“With the guidance of PCOS Diva, I went from feeling that something was wrong with my body, that my body was faulty and not fully feminine due to PCOS, to thriving, having cycles, and having a body that I loved. I followed your guidance and found that inside my body was perfect; it just needed more love, and I needed to be a ‘Diva’ and to take control of the way I cared for my body. I noticed changes after the first few weeks and have maintained a healthy body and menstrual cycles for three years (after having never had normal cycles in my entire life) at the age of thirty-five.”
—JENNIFER R.
Lack Thinking (LT): I will never be enough.
Abundance Thinking (AT): I am enough.
LT: I am judgmental.
AT: I appreciate.
LT: I look for what is going wrong.
AT: I look for what is going right.
LT: I am rigid and closed off from new ideas.
AT: I am open to new ideas.
LT: I am jealous and envious of others.
AT: I celebrate others’ success.
LT: I compare myself to others.
AT: I am authentic.
LT: I am a perfectionist.
AT: I focus on progress.
LT: I am fear-based.
AT: I focus on and notice blessings in life.
LT: I never feel that I have enough time or money.
AT: I am generous.
LT: I am a victim of PCOS.
AT: I am in control of my health.
As you learn to be a PCOS Diva, remember this mantra: “Progress, not perfection.” As long as you are progressing toward your goal, you are on the right path. Don’t wait for life to be perfect before you approach every day with an abundance mindset. There is no perfect. No one has a perfect life—no matter what it looks like on social media. Please do not put your life on hold while you wait to achieve some ideal. Donate those clothes you are waiting to fit back into. Love who you are in this moment, and appreciate what you have. Today, you are enough, you have enough.
It has taken me a long time to embrace “Progress, not perfection.” I am a recovering perfectionist. Striving for perfection left me exhausted, frustrated, and feeling bad about myself. Insisting upon perfection was taking a toll on myself and those around me. It was unsustainable. To get healthy, I had to put my perfectionist tendencies aside. I learned that missteps were lessons not failures.
If you are a recovering perfectionist like me, remember, as you move through the Healing PCOS 21-Day Plan, to not strive to do everything perfectly. Do as much as you can. Congratulate yourself on your successes. Learn from your missteps. The more you do, the faster you will feel better, but this is not a race; it’s your journey.
Let’s be real. This change in thinking doesn’t happen overnight. You didn’t just read the last two paragraphs and think, “Oh, okay. I am enough. Everything is fine. Phew.” Give yourself time to retrain your brain into thinking from an abundance perspective. We will work on this over the next 21 days. Remember, “Progress, not perfection.”
PCOS Divas live in a place of abundance (being your authentic self, making choices that make you happy, being grateful), not a place of lack (comparing yourself to everyone else, trying to be someone you are not, striving for perfection).
Mind Your Business
Living mindfully is a key element of living like a PCOS Diva. People who live mindfully are aware of the day minute by minute and appreciate the present moment’s abundance and challenges. In a world where no one seems to pay complete attention to anything, mindfulness is a powerful tool to help you avoid being overwhelmed.
Living mindfully helps PCOS Divas stay calm and centered. From this place, we can make good choices and keep the bigger picture in mind. For example, before my kids come home and the afternoon chaos begins, I make time for my afternoon snack and cup of tea. I do my best to sit for a few moments and savor it. I don’t check my email while I snack. I don’t fold laundry. I sit and enjoy a few minutes with my food. I think about what I am eating and simply experience the quiet moment. It isn’t always easy to carve out these few minutes, but I do my best to do it each day.
For most of us, it’s impossible to live mindfully all the time. Rather, it’s an ebb and flow. You are mindful, you lose your focus, and then you are mindful again. Repeat. The constant ebb and flow helps us appreciate the practice. There are three keys to mindfulness:
1 The past is the past. We can waste a lot of time thinking about the past and what might have been. “What if I had been diagnosed earlier?” “What if I recognized the signs?” PCOS Divas don’t waste their time rehashing the past. We think about the present and the future and move forward. Starting today, think about the person you strive to be and let today’s decisions be the decisions that your “ideal PCOS Diva self” would make.
2 Be in the present and grateful for today. Every day is a gift. Every day you are given is another day full of possibilities and choices. Make the most of it! Appreciate the little blessings that happen and learn to appreciate the challenges. Together, they make your journey. Remember that the happiest people aren’t necessarily those who are dealt the best hands; rather, they are those who make the best of the cards they’re dealt. During the Healing PCOS 21-Day Plan, you will spend a few moments each day with gratitude. You may be surprised how even these few moments will change your life.
3 Don’t fear the future. It is important to have long-term goals and look forward in order to anticipate roadblocks. That said, don’t let the vastness and complete unpredictability of the future overwhelm you. Your life is full of fantastic possibilities, and the road to get there is long and winding. Don’t lose the experience of the journey in a rush to get to your destination. Instead, try to live mindfully and manage your life moment to moment. For instance, when you are diagnosed with PCOS, you are initially overwhelmed with questions like, “Will I ever get pregnant?” and “Will I get diabetes?” Instead of zipping straight to these unanswerable questions, be mindful of the moment and get yourself on the path to wellness. Instead, ask, “What can I do today to start healing my body?” The steps you take to manage the issues of the day (insulin resistance, stress, etc.) will put you on the right track for the issues of the future (fertility, health).
“No” Is a Complete Sentence
In order to be mindful, we need to set priorities. You cannot be “in the moment” if you have to be in three places during that moment. For many of us, saying no can be difficult. We are programmed to accommodate as many people as possible, especially if they are important to us. In fact, you likely spend more time doing things for other people than you do for yourself.
Saying no and making yourself a priority does not have to be impolite or harsh. It isn’t selfish. You are simply setting priorities that help you do what you choose to do well and completely. In this age of multitasking, very little is ever truly done as well as it could be. We are pushed to the edge of our capacity.
Instead of feeling as though you have to justify it to yourself when to say no, try justifying what you say yes to. Say yes to the things that make you happy, give you enjoyment, benefit you, contribute positively to your health, or add meaning to your life. Setting boundaries enables us to live mindfully. Not only is this empowering; it’s necessary to your well-being and the well-being of those around you.
“When we stop listening to that voice in our head telling us we are not enough, we discover a voice in our soul who knows with certainty that we are more than enough.”
—CRYSTAL ANDRUS MORISSETTE
The Most Important Piece
If you have ever taken a commercial flight, you have heard the speech the flight attendant gives about oxygen masks. It goes something like this: “In the event of decompression, an oxygen mask will appear in front of you. To start the flow of oxygen, pull the mask toward you, place it firmly over your nose and mouth, and breathe normally. If you are traveling with a child or someone requiring assistance, secure your mask first; then assist the other person.”
Thinking like a PCOS Diva works much the same way. In order to thrive and be of service to those around you, you must first love and take care of yourself (or put on your oxygen mask). You are no good to anyone if you can’t breathe.
Taking care of yourself is not selfish. It is necessary.
The key to thinking like a PCOS Diva is knowing that you deserve to feel good. Again, this is the critical mindset shift that will keep you on the path to thriving with PCOS. You must love yourself and recognize that you are worth the time, effort, and expense of being healthy and happy.
When you feel this self-worth, put effort into self-care, and really invest in self-love, the pieces will come together. You will feel better, and when you do, you will radiate this love to others. Your capacity to do good and be of help increases exponentially.
No, this does not mean you become an obnoxious diva, only worried about herself. You will not be demanding only green M&Ms in your dressing room. Holiday dinners with the family do not need to completely conform to your dietary choices. Self-love manifests itself in self-care. It means that you will respect yourself and your health enough to make time to care for yourself (mentally and physically), make self-respectful choices about what to eat and how to fit movement into your day, and speak to yourself in an encouraging and positive manner.
“Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.”
—ELEANOR BROWNN
Six Ways You Can Practice Self-Care
1 Eat like a PCOS Diva. In the next chapter, we will discuss how to eat like a PCOS Diva. You will learn new habits that reach way beyond what to eat. You will learn how to plan meals and grocery shop, avoid pitfalls and weather cravings, and read your body’s signals and where to invest time and money in choosing the right foods to nourish your beautiful body.
2 Move like a PCOS Diva. In Chapter 5, we will explore ways to take self-care in a new direction: movement. You will find ways to move that you enjoy and look forward to doing. Stress relief, symptom relief, and joy will be the products of your work in this chapter.
3 Reduce stress. We have already spoken a little about stress. You know that stress releases the hormone cortisol, which wreaks havoc on your other hormones, immune system, and thyroid. Throughout the 21-Day Plan, we will practice stress relief as a critical part of self-care. You will learn how movement can reduce your stress levels. You will learn to meditate in order to center yourself and prepare for the stresses that you encounter every day. You will practice mindfulness and learn to savor seemingly mundane moments (and even stressful ones). Finally, you will learn to diffuse stressful situations with on-the-spot stress relief.
4 Get adequate sleep. We don’t need research to tell us that sleep is critical for brain function, but there’s plenty of it out there. We’ve all experienced the groggy feeling, poor decision making, and memory loss after a night of little or no sleep. Did you know that studies also show the clear relationship between sleep, food consumption, weight regulation, and metabolism? Chronic sleep deprivation impacts every system and hormone in your body. Your body’s ability to signal when to eat, process glucose, and repair cells are all affected. As a result, you become forgetful, can’t process insulin and glucose properly, have increased inflammation, make bad food choices, and gain weight. There are countless reasons for this sleep deprivation, including cortisol or melatonin imbalances, medications, medical conditions, and lack of self-care. In the 21-Day Plan, you will learn sleep habits that will (most nights) help you get the rest you desperately need.
5 Find a creative outlet. Using your creativity is healing, whether you write, dance, scrapbook, draw, paint, quilt, sing, play an instrument, or color (I love adult coloring books). Any sort of artistic expression can stimulate stress relief and help you express yourself. Throughout the 21-Day Plan, you’ll make time to tap into your creative side as part of your self-care regimen.
6 Indulge. Being a PCOS Diva isn’t about deprivation and denial. That is no way to live. Being a PCOS Diva is about living your best life and taking steps to make that possible. An important part of that is taking time for yourself, even just a few minutes per day, and replacing old destructive habits with joyous, indulgent, positive ones. Think about how you reward yourself or relax. Do you grab a pint of Ben & Jerry’s? Sack out on the couch with movies for the afternoon? It might feel good to do those things in the moment, but afterward you are left feeling lousy. Consider replacing these habits with others that make you feel great long term. In the 21-Day Plan, you will begin your very own “Sweet Stuff” list of things you can do to indulge a little. We all need them.
Starting Today
You will start thinking like a PCOS Diva. You will stop being a victim and partner with your body. You will do your best to be patient with yourself, acknowledge that you deserve to feel great, and take the steps to be that way. You will begin and end your days with gratitude for all you have and the beauty around you.
These invisible changes will soon have very visible results that benefit both you and the people around you. You are not being selfish when practicing self-care. You are investing in yourself in order to reap rewards for your friends, family, and coworkers. They will notice the difference. But what’s more important is that you will.
