Читать книгу Regency Affairs Part 2: Books 7-12 Of 12 - Ann Lethbridge - Страница 37

Sophie bit back her questions about Richard’s past until they were in Richard’s carriage. Safely out of earshot of anyone else. The last thing she wanted was the humiliation of having to ask for explanations for things her new husband should have told her about before they married. She had her pride.

When they had come out of the church, a light rain had started to fall, but a small crowd had gathered, waiting for them. She thought she’d seen Hannah Grayson hurrying away with a heavily veiled woman and somehow it made things worse.

Yesterday, Miss Grayson had been so happy about her upcoming wedding and all the plans. It was sure to be a big society affair with lots of friends and relations, much as Robert and Henri’s had been.

There could not be a greater contrast with her hurried hole-in-the-corner affair with barely anyone attending. She had never considered her wedding would be like this, particularly not with her bridegroom’s father demanding an explanation as to why Richard had married so quickly.

There could be only one conclusion. Lord Hallington had intended to stop this marriage, just as he had stopped another marriage. If he had arrived sooner, would Richard have even married her? Would she even have been in that carriage with him?

A small knot of misery formed in the pit of her stomach. Moments before she’d been so happy and excited to be married to Richard. Now she realised that she knew very little about him. She knew small things like how passionate he was about cricket and what a brilliant dancer he was, that he took his tea black, but she didn’t know any of the truly big things, particularly how he’d conducted his previous relationships. She’d waited and waited for him to talk about the scandals in his past, or indeed anything significant about his childhood, but he hadn’t. He hadn’t even given her a subtle opportunity. And now they were married. Rather than marrying a friend, she’d married a stranger.

‘When were you going to tell me about your father’s imminent arrival in Newcastle? Before or after the wedding trip?’ she asked in a deadly calm voice, the sort she only used when she was very upset. The taste of unshed tears slid down the back of her throat. She looked up at the roof and blinked rapidly. She absolutely refused to cry on her wedding day. Her wedding day! She was supposed to be happy, not feel as though she had been kicked in the stomach by a horse.

‘My father sent a note saying he intended to travel to Newcastle. He failed to give a date or time, merely that I should expect him.’ He put an arm about her shoulders, but she shrugged it off. ‘I am a grown man. I refuse to wait attendance on him.’

‘People don’t travel like that, not these days,’ Sophie protested as her mind reeled. What was it that Richard wasn’t telling her? She had always hated it when her father was alive and he had kept things from her. She’d always vowed it would not happen to her again. She didn’t need protecting from anything, particularly not his family. ‘There are timetables and schedules. People send letters. The post takes a matter of hours.’

‘My father is remarkably old-fashioned about such things, as you will discover. This is possibly the first time he has ever taken a train.’ He covered her hand with his, but she withdrew it. ‘In the past he called trains the devil’s creation and stoutly refused to consider boarding one.’

The back of Sophie’s neck prickled. Old-fashioned. Was he also old-fashioned about the sort of woman he wanted his son to marry? She wanted to be a credit to Richard, not drive a wedge between him and his father. ‘You know your father best.’

‘You must believe me, Sophie.’ He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. His face bore a pleading expression. ‘I truly didn’t expect him to arrive today. There have been times in my life that he has promised to arrive, but some crisis with his pigs has prevented him. I have given up expecting him to do things because I want him to be there. And I did want to marry you as soon as possible, rather than waiting for my father who might not appear. My aunts always came to Montem Day at Eton with a picnic for my cousins, but my father never managed, despite saying he would. Do you know how hard it is to wait for someone to appear and then for them not to show up because their prized sow has given birth to piglets?’

Sophie’s heart bled for the younger Richard who had wanted his father and had been overlooked for a load of pigs. Her father might have been busy, but he’d always been there when she had needed him. She couldn’t imagine the pain and humiliation Richard must have felt.

‘I didn’t know. My father always made time for me … after my mother died.’

‘My father has said on numerous occasions that he will never go to Newcastle. You heard my aunt at your stepmother’s At Home. I refused to wait any longer for you in my bed and in my life.’ He raised her hand to his lips. ‘I refused to give you an opportunity for delay and you wanted this marriage to happen quickly as well. You agreed to it.’

‘I suppose.’

‘I’m selfish, Sophie.’ He put his hand to his heart. ‘One of my worst faults. I admit it, but can you blame me? You are too great a prize to risk.’

Sophie gripped her flowers tighter. She had spent her entire life trying to be genteel and refined, and Richard’s family didn’t think she was. Any more than Sebastian had or indeed some of the truly refined girls at school. ‘But you were going to tell me about your aunt’s verdict.’

‘Any report my aunt made to my father matters not a jot to me. I told her so at the At Home.’ He gave a heart-melting smile which sent a shot of warmth coursing through her. Sophie struggled to ignore it.

His aunt’s verdict might not have mattered to him then, back when the engagement was false, but would it matter one day? His aunt’s report had mattered to his father.

‘I have the wedding trip all planned,’ Richard said, seemingly oblivious to her concerns. ‘We are going to Hamburg and then we will travel to the Alps. For you and your dreams, I will travel on the sea. You would not believe how efficient shipping agents can be when you explain it is for a wedding trip and are willing to pay. It is where you said you always wanted to go. I shall pose for you in an Alpine meadow. You can paint and then we shall see where it leads.’

Sophie’s heart did a little leap. He did remember the dream she had abandoned after the Sebastian incident. It was more than the painting. She bit her lip, torn between her desire to see the Alps and the knowledge that her father-in-law had indeed travelled all the way up from Hampshire to Newcastle. And if Richard was to be believed, taking a train for the first time in order to meet her and see if his aunt’s judgement was correct.

She drew a shuddering breath and felt stronger. There was little point in crying over what might have been. ‘We may have to postpone the wedding trip. Your father is here now. It seems churlish to leave. Can you work up your courage again to brave the sea? I promise to hold your hand all the way.’

‘You have a very sweet nature, Lady Bingfield.’ He raised her hand to his lips. ‘Very sweet indeed. My father was a foul-tempered brute today, but he is my father. He can be very charming when he makes the effort. It will mean a lot to him if we stay.’

‘We can go later in the year. It will be all the more pleasant.’ Silently Sophie resolved to win Lord Hallington over. She would prove to him that she was a worthy daughter-in-law, rather than the sort of woman he thought her to be.

‘You are sitting far, far too far away from me, Lady Bingfield.’

Sophie sat up straighter and concentrated on her nosegay. If she allowed it, he would change the subject and she might never learn anything more about him. It was important that she know. The true extent of her ignorance frightened her and the knot of misery seemed to be growing larger.

‘Was it true what your father said about you marrying someone else?’ she asked around the hard lump in her throat.

‘I hardly intend to spend my wedding day discussing other people, but I made my vow never to be the knowing instrument of Putney after I learnt of Mary’s tragic death in an accident.’ He made a cutting motion with his hand. ‘I was young and had been just sent down. Mary’s family decided not to wait and married her off before I had a chance to return. Mary had been resisting the match before. He was a friend of Putney’s. Mary decided to escape the marriage and died in a canal-boat accident. Her sister said that she was on her way to me. How much of that was true I didn’t know. I resolved never again to knowingly let that happen.’

‘I’m sorry.’ Sophie closed her eyes. His insistence that his first proposal was a real one now made sense.

‘Whether or not I’d have married her is pure speculation. It didn’t happen. I can truly say that of all the women I have met, you are the only one who has tempted me to put my head in the parson’s noose.’

‘My friend Henri lost her first husband shortly after they married. For years she refused to even look at another man.’

‘The state of my heart had nothing to do with my reasons for not marrying.’ Richard’s features appeared carved out of stone. ‘I have seen the problems firsthand when your heart rules your head. I had not met anyone I wanted to marry until I met you. All of the women I became involved with did not tempt me, Sophie. Several of them tried.’

Sophie looked at her nosegay where the tiny pink roses stared up at her in mute rebuke. He had not claimed any finer feeling. She had simply assumed. She had wanted to marry a friend for love and she’d married a stranger for desire. And the stranger was highly experienced, whereas she had no experience in these matters.

‘Your father didn’t approve of me. It is why he came up.’ Sophie tightened her grip on the nosegay and hoped he’d understand and give her some measure of reassurance. ‘Your father seemed so angry at the wedding. I have never seen anyone go red like that before.’

‘Once he gets to know you properly, he will approve wholeheartedly. Trust me on this. I know my father and what he wants for me. You are precisely what I require in a wife and that is what is important.’ He leant over and kissed her forehead.

Sophie tried to hang on to his words and use them to quieten the hard knot in her stomach. What he required in a wife. They were not precisely words of love, but it would have to do. For now. But he seemed to be holding something back, something vital, and it niggled at her insides. ‘I will attempt to remember that.’

‘Now, are we going to enjoy the day, our wedding day, or are we going to spend the time discussing people and events that have no bearing on our future?’

‘That went better than I had hoped,’ Sophie said as they left the wedding breakfast in Richard’s carriage. She had changed from her wedding dress into a smart bottle-green dress with a matching tailored jacket. Her tiny pillbox hat with its dyed green feather and the beaded gloves completed the outfit. She thought it set off her blonde hair admirably. The warmth she had seen in Richard’s eyes when she came down the stairs with her crinoline imported directly from Paris slightly swinging to reveal her ankles encased in half-boots made the time she’d spent getting ready worth it.

The tiny hard knot in the pit of her stomach faded.

Contrary to her earlier fears, Lord Hallington had proved remarkably charming at the wedding breakfast and had gone out of his way to be kind to her stepmother, even going so far as to compliment her on using wax flowers rather than the real thing. Apparently Lord Hallington had recently developed a passion for collecting china pugs, but her stepmother had a number which he had not seen before.

‘Did my father say how long he was staying in Newcastle? He merely told me that he was staying as long as necessary. I want to start the wedding trip as soon as possible. I have promised you the Alps and you shall have them.’

Sophie laughed at Richard’s expression. It had been obvious to her at the wedding breakfast that Lord Hallington adored his only child. He had simply been upset at the suddenness of the marriage and hungry. Once he had eaten a bit, she could see where Richard had acquired his charm from.

‘He has taken rooms at the Neville Hotel on my stepmother’s advice. He said nothing to me, but from what I understood from my stepmother when I changed into my going-away dress, it will be a week or two, possibly three.’

‘As long as that?’

‘He plans to visit his mother’s grave. My stepmother has undertaken to be his guide as he is now family.’ Sophie tapped her finger to her chin. She should have remembered what Lady Parthenope had said on the first night about visiting her mother’s grave. It provided the perfect explanation as to why Lord Hallington was uncomfortable in Newcastle. ‘That must be the reason he never visits here. The memory is far too painful for him.’

‘I am thankful that he had enough sense to realise that he would not be a welcome addition to our rooms.’ Richard wrapped his arms about her and pulled her close. ‘I am postponing the wedding trip on his account. I’m not postponing anything else.’

‘You shall have to take me to your grandmother’s grave so I can pay my respects.’

He loosened his arms and a surprised expression crossed his face. ‘I will find out from my father where it is.’

‘Don’t you know?’ Sophie asked in dismay.

‘Until my aunt said something the other day, I had forgotten—if I had ever known. My grandmother died before I was born. I know its general location.’

‘It would be a good thing for me to visit it.’ Sophie forced a smile. ‘Something to discuss with your aunt when I next meet her.’

‘I do refuse to discuss the dead, departed and most particularly my aunts on my wedding day, Sophie.’

The tiny hard knot returned with a vengeance. Her husband was a stranger. She had thought she’d known, but could she count on him in a crisis?

She reached up and brushed her lips against his. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘That’s better.’ He gathered her to him again and returned the kiss, nibbling her bottom lip. ‘I have wanted to do this all day.’

‘Do you think it is too early? The sun hasn’t set. What will the servants think?’

He put his hands on either side of her face. ‘Promise me never to be shy with me, Sophie. You are beautiful and I want to unwrap all the layers of your clothes and feast on your magnificent body.’

‘My stepmother sent Jane on ahead, so that she’d be there with my things, waiting to help me get ready. We have everything planned.’

‘Your stepmother and your maid have no place in our marriage bed.’ He put his forehead against hers. ‘It is well that I told Myers that the entire staff were to have the afternoon and the evening off. He will ensure your things have been safely put away, but no one remains. You will have to allow me to be your maid for tonight.’

Sophie gulped. ‘We will be entirely alone.’

‘What passes between us, Sophie, is strictly private. No audience needed.’

Rather than glancing at his face, Sophie toyed with the beaded portion of her glove. She wasn’t sure if she should feel pleased or distinctly shocked. He made it seem as though it was an everyday occurrence. And for him perhaps it was. She didn’t want to think about all the other women he must have known. She had to wonder if Myers was used to disappearing when Richard brought his new mistress back to his rooms. Not mistress, she corrected her thoughts. She was his wife. ‘Is it normal for married people to behave this way?’

‘Normal people be damned! It is how I want to behave.’

Sophie folded her hands together primly. ‘I merely asked. I didn’t want to provoke comment. I know how servants talk and gossip. I was brought up to respect convention.’

‘There won’t be, not about that.’ He took her hand and slowly removed her glove, finger by finger. The gold band gleamed against her naked flesh. ‘People do not pry into the bedroom of married people, Sophie. Our marriage will be on everyone’s lips for a few weeks. Can your conventional soul withstand that?’

‘Yes.’ She put her hand on Richard’s cheek and felt the soft bristles against her palm. ‘I have never done this before.’

‘We are both new at marriage.’ He turned his face to her palm and kissed it. ‘We shall grow in it together.’

His words sent a soothing balm over her jangled nerves. He might be infinitely more experienced in the ways of love than she, but he had never been married before, either. This was the start of a new life for the both of them. It was something they could share together.

‘It is a good thought.’

Sophie started to lean towards him. The carriage jolted to a halt and the coachman opened the door. Instantly she sat bolt upright. Richard got out first and turned back to her with his hands outstretched.

‘Are you ready?’

‘Ready?’

‘I intend to carry you over the threshold.’

‘You don’t have to. I must weigh a ton. I ate far too much of the seed cake.’

‘You will be as light as a feather. I want this to be perfect.’

‘Very well. You may carry me.’

He put his arms about her and she looped her hands about his neck. Sophie noticed the servants filed out after the door had been opened. Richard had arranged everything to perfection.

Richard carried Sophie into the bedroom. Myers and Jane had done their work well. The severe masculinity of the room had been transformed with vases of flowers, flickering candles and Sophie’s nightdress, prettily arranged with ribbons. A cold repast of cheese, apples and bread sat on a small table beside the small coal fire. Everything ripe for seduction.

He could not have planned it better.

‘Shall I put you on the bed?’ he whispered in Sophie’s ear.

‘I’d prefer to stand.’

‘Would you mind telling me why?’ he asked, slowly lowering her to the floor. He had to hope that Sophie’s stepmother hadn’t filled her head with silly notions about propriety. When Sophie had insisted on changing and her stepmother followed her up, Richard had known what was coming—the talk about doing your duty and allowing a man to take his pleasure. Always have the light off and other nonsensical rules. It was little wonder she had seemed distant in the carriage, bringing up all manner of topics for discussion. Her stepmother had probably scared her half to death.

‘Why, Sophie, is it necessary for you to stand?’ he enquired softly when she bowed her head.

‘You have to be careful when you sit in a crinoline. They have tendency to fly up and expose everything.’ Sophie gave a feeble laugh. ‘It took me ages of practising before my stepmother would allow me out of the house. And you have to know where your skirts are. Fanny Hubert suffered terrible burns to her legs when her skirt caught fire. Luckily, I remembered to shout roll like Henri had taught me or it could have been far worse.’

‘Why wear it if it is so dangerous?’

‘Because it weighs so much less than six petticoats.’ She laughed and placed her finger against his lips. ‘And here I thought you were more than adequate as a maid.’

‘I’m obviously out of practise.’

‘Then we must hope you do a good job of it tonight.’ Her hands went to her tiny hat. ‘I expect you to be neat and tidy or Jane will grumble.’

‘I will be what I am,’ Richard growled, reaching for her. ‘And your maid will mind her manners about you or she will have to find another situation. But since you asked so prettily, I will do my best to keep your clothes neat.’

Sophie’s heart gave a little leap as he quickly divested her of the jacket and undid the back buttons of the dress. The cool air licked her shoulders as she stood in the centre of the room dressed only in her crinoline, corset and combination.

He walked all around her.

‘It is a cage.’

‘It hooks at the back.’ Somehow the knowledge he had not encountered a crinoline before made everything easier. The enormity of what was about to happen hit her as he carried her into the bedroom. She wanted to please him and all she could think about was that awful night four years ago.

The last thing she wanted was Richard getting angry with her. She wanted to be perfection and drive all thoughts of other women out of his mind. She wanted to match the picture he had painted in her mind yesterday, but she’d never done anything like this before.

‘Step,’ he commanded, releasing the crinoline and pushing it down over her hips. His hands caressed her hips, sending tiny licks of fire throughout her body, driving all thoughts of the other time away. This was different. This was Richard and she desired his touch.

He undid the hooks of her corset and sent that tumbling to the ground as well. Without giving her time to think, he lifted her up again and gently laid her on the bed.

‘I prefer slippers to boots, Sophie,’ he said, undoing the laces of her half-boots and easing them off. ‘And I don’t care about fashion, I want you to be able to breathe.’

‘I like to look fashionable.’ Sophie lifted her hands and removed the pins from her hair, allowing it to tumble about her shoulders.

‘You look utterly delectable.’ He moved her hair and kissed her neck. ‘Even better when you are undressed.’

He undid his neckcloth and quickly took off his shoes, coat and shirt but left on his trousers.

Sophie realised with a start that he wasn’t wearing anything underneath. His skin gleamed golden in the candlelight.

The bed sagged when he sat down next to her. His hand stroked her hair, sending a tingle down her spine.

The hard knot of misery had vanished to be replaced by something new and exciting.

She reached up a hand and stroked his cheek. ‘Hello, husband.’

Instantly he rolled over on top of her and she felt the full hard length of him.

He bent his head and kissed her. Their tongues met and parted. The wildfire which had spread through her yesterday, reignited, blazing hotter and more out of control because she knew what was coming. Her nipples tightened and her back arched, demanding more of him.

His mouth left hers and trailed down her throat, lower and lower until he reached her breasts. Rather than moving the material away, his tongue drew lazy circles, turning it translucent, so that her nipples showed a dusky pink.

She squirmed and her drawers rubbed against the apex of her thighs, sending a fresh wave of pleasure throughout her body.

Her head thrashed backwards and forwards on the pillow, but still he continued to suckle through the cloth. Her breasts grew full and ached.

‘Please,’ she gasped out, tugging at his shoulders. ‘Please.’

He lifted his head. ‘Allow me to pleasure you, Sophie. It makes me happy. I have dreamt about this. We are man and wife. Nothing is forbidden.’

‘I know,’ she said in a small voice. ‘I want to do it right.’

‘Relax.’ He ran his hand down her flank, before placing his fingers at the apex of her thighs. The new sensation sent pulses of warmth through her. Her body bucked and she knew she wanted more. She wanted to feel all of him.

‘We are overdressed,’ she whispered.

He started to undo her combination, but the buttons stuck and he ripped it.

‘I will buy you a new one,’ he murmured, nuzzling her ear as his hands slipped off his trousers. ‘You are more beautiful than I dreamt. Allow me to explore you.’

She gave a nod.

His hand returned to the apex of her thighs and slipped in between her nest of curls, parting her folds. The action sent fresh waves of pleasure throughout her body.

His silken warmth covered her. She ran her hand down his hard muscular back, marvelling. She cupped his buttocks and held his against her, lifting her hips to meet his.

The tip of him nudged her.

‘I’m sorry,’ he breathed in her ear. ‘This will hurt. There is no way around it.’

He positioned himself and drove deeply between her thighs.

The pain and burning instantly blotted out all the earlier pleasure.

Sophie froze, shocked. She’d expected a pinprick of pain, not this burning sensation. A tiny cry of ‘no’ emerged from her throat. She tried to close her legs and her body bucked upwards, driving him deeper, making it worse. She beat her fists against the mattress in frustration. She had wanted this to be perfect. She wanted it to be like her dreams.

‘Shush, it will be fine. Trust me. It was necessary, but now I will make it better.’ His voice came through the pain and the panic subsided.

She forced her body to lie still and concentrated on the bed hanging and trying to breathe slowly.

He was deep within her, unmoving. She noticed the small things—how his chest felt against hers, how the candlelight highlighted the planes of his face and the way his fists were clenched as if he was under some nearly overpowering urge. She ran an experimental hand down his back, but he still didn’t move.

His lips brushed her temple. ‘There, it wasn’t too bad. I had to break your maidenhead.’

‘Is that all there is?’

He raised himself up on his elbows and his mouth curved up in a sensuous smile. ‘Do you want more?’

She wrinkled her nose, considering. ‘Yes, please. I liked the first bit very much, but not what just happened.’

He began to slowly move within her. ‘We shall have to see if we can get you to enjoy this bit as well. Relax and open your legs wider.’

She tried to and he moved his hips slowly, going deeper, then retreating as his mouth returned to hers. The gentle movement reignited the fire within her. Her hips lifted in time with his, matching him.

The movement became faster and more intense, but she was swept along on a wave of intense pleasure.

Finally he drove hard and cried out before collapsing on her.

She put her arms about him and held him, glorying in being one with him, her body alive with new sensations. Richard was right. It would have been foolish to wait any longer. She was pleased he’d insisted on their marriage.

‘Thank you,’ he said, placing a kiss on her temple.

‘For what?’

‘For being you.’

‘How can I be anyone else?’

He rolled off her and started to move away.

‘Where are you going?’ She held out her hand. Her entire body seemed to be remade and he wanted to leave her.

He returned with a damp cloth. ‘We need to clean you up.’

She looked down and saw the blood on her thighs. Her hands went to hide it. ‘I’m no longer a virgin.’

‘You are truly my wife.’ He nipped her chin. ‘And well worth waiting for.’

He moved her hands and wiped her thighs. The cool cloth contrasted with the burning, soothing her. Her hips moved upwards, seeking the relief. He slowed the movement of the cloth and stroked her gently. The heady longing returned and she knew she wanted his hands on her. She wanted him inside her again.

When he had finished, he gathered her in his arms and held her. She felt him grow hard and knew he wanted her again. The thought gave her a heady sense of power.

‘All gone.’

‘Do you intend to do it again?’ She hesitated.

‘Please?’

He gave a brief laugh. ‘Unfortunately you are too sore. We have the rest of our lives and I intend to teach you all the ways it is possible to have pleasure.’

She wriggled. ‘I believe I shall like that very much.’

Much later, Richard lay with Sophie in his arms. It had taken more self-control than he thought possible to avoid taking her again.

He had done the right thing in marrying her. He was not going to become like his father, overly possessive and jealous, driving her away. He wasn’t going to fall in love with her at all. He was going to look after her and protect her. The way he felt about her and having her in his life frightened him.

Richard stiffened. His father. With mental apologies to Sophie, he released her and rolled away from her warm body.

He needed to tell his mother about his father’s arrival and plans such as he knew them. It was not something which he could put in a letter. He had to see his mother and suffer the hysterics, but then he’d be done.

He ran his fingers through Sophie’s hair. It was better to keep Sophie out of any fireworks. She didn’t understand the problems and the way both parents had used him when he was little. The last thing he wanted was for her to be hurt. He’d promised to keep her safe. He could not ask her to take on this burden.

‘When we are in the Alps, Sophie, and we know each other better,’ he murmured. ‘Then I will explain. I’m sure you will understand.’

She murmured softly in her sleep. He took it for a ‘yes’.