Читать книгу Highlanders Collection - Бренда Джойс, Ann Lethbridge - Страница 15

After settling the matter of where he and Nairna would live, Bram sat with Alex and Ross, listening to them discuss how they would break Callum free of the English prison. They’d debated for the past hour about whether to use stealth or force.

He didn’t care. As long as they got Callum out, it didn’t matter. Their words mingled together, strategies blurring, until Bram heard nothing more of what they said.

Instead, he watched Nairna. From the entrance, he could see her wandering the courtyard. There was dismay upon her face, as though she couldn’t understand what had happened to Glen Arrin.

With every step she took, he saw her setting things aright. Picking up a fallen pot, finding a broom to sweep the entrance.

Over the next hour, she worked within the Hall, removing the refuse. She even located fresh rushes from God only knew where, spreading them over the floor to mask the odours.

Her head was covered, but he could see her dark braid hanging over one shoulder. She moved with a silent grace, her face tense with worry about something.

Once she’d finished straightening the Hall, she strode forwards, as though she’d come to a sudden decision. When she reached Alex and the others, she didn’t hesitate to interrupt their conversation.

‘Where are all of the women and children?’ she blurted out.

Bram’s gaze sharpened, and he realised she was right. He’d been so preoccupied with worry over Callum, he’d hardly noticed the other MacKinlochs. But there were no women to be seen anywhere. He’d presumed they were in their homes or with Alex’s wife somewhere.

He sent a questioning look to his brother, but Ross interrupted. ‘Lady Laren’s gone with her girls out walking. She does that each morn.’

‘And the others?’ Bram asked. From his brother’s defensive expression, Alex appeared embarrassed, rather than worried.

‘They are with our mother. She coerced them into seeking refuge with Kameron MacKinnon, the Baron of Locharr.’ From the annoyance in Alex’s tone, it was clear that their mother hadn’t changed at all.

Brisk and steel-minded, Grizel MacKinloch had been like an unmerciful war lord when he and his brothers were growing up. With four sons, she’d had to be. While other women might have consoled their young boys with a kiss, when their sons scraped their knees, Grizel had told them that they should have minded where they were going. There was no sympathy from the matriarch, no weaknesses accepted.

And once she got an idea into her head, no one could convince her otherwise. Bram didn’t doubt that she’d decided to punish the men by leading the exodus of women.

‘Have you gone to visit them?’ Bram ventured.

Alex’s face showed his discontent. ‘Once. They’re safe enough, and it’s only been a fortnight. They’ll come back.’

Bram wasn’t so certain. Their mother had never been the sort to admit when she was wrong.

Nairna’s expression narrowed as she regarded his brother. She looked as though she had a thousand questions to ask, but in the end, she kept her voice cool. ‘Have you told your mother that Bram has returned?’

‘I sent word this morning, aye.’ Alex stood up, using his height to remind Nairna of his authority.

His wife didn’t back down, but instead lifted her chin, turning back to Bram. ‘And are you planning to go and see her?’

‘No. I’m not.’ He hadn’t seen Grizel since before their wedding, and he knew she’d have no wish to see him again. Because of his reckless behaviour, her husband had died. He doubted if Grizel would ever forgive him for it.

‘Why?’ Nairna asked. ‘She’s your mother. You have to go and see her.’

‘Were it me, I’d enjoy the peace while I could,’ Ross advised, elbowing him. To Nairna, he said, ‘Grizel isn’t the sort to weep and celebrate the return of a prodigal son.’

‘More like to string him up and curse him for coming back,’ Alex added.

Nairna gaped at them and Bram cut off any further questions, saying, ‘I have to go and train with my brothers. I’ll see you later.’

Alex nodded his own dismissal to Nairna. ‘You might try the chapel if you cannot find Laren out walking. Sometimes she spends her time there.’

Bram overheard his wife mumble something about understanding Laren’s need for prayer if she was the only woman remaining at Glen Arrin.

Before she could leave, Bram stopped her, taking her hand. ‘It won’t always be like this, Nairna. The other women will return.’

She gave a shrug as if it didn’t matter. But he knew it did.

‘I’ll send for your maid, if you want.’ Perhaps the female companionship would make Glen Arrin a more bearable place for her. At least, until the others returned. ‘It may take a sennight until she arrives, though.’

The startled look in Nairna’s eyes held gratefulness. And surprise, as if she’d never expected it from him. ‘Thank you.’

In answer, Bram stroked her palm, rubbing a slight circle there. Her hands laced with his, and just the barest squeeze filled up the emptiness inside him. He held it for a moment before letting her go and rejoining his brothers.

She stood a short distance away, watching them spar. When Alex signalled for him to join them, Bram unsheathed his claymore, balancing the blade with both hands. The weapon was heavy, but he welcomed the weight. He wanted to lose himself in the sparring match, releasing his frustration.

He would regain the strength he’d lost, rebuilding himself into the fighter he wanted to be. He’d give Nairna a house of her own and all the freedom she wanted.

He wasn’t good with words or courtship the way other men were. He could only hope that, in time, she would see that he would protect her and provide for her.

It was all he had left to give.

Nairna’s palm was still warm. Though Bram had done nothing more than hold her hand, the gesture had made her skin grow warmer with restless needs. He’d stared at her with the intensity of a man who wanted to do far more to her. In that slight moment, she’d wanted to touch his face, to run her hand down his neck and touch his chest.

She busied herself with sweeping the entrance, although she’d already done so earlier. It was a good excuse to watch the men.

Bram and Ross faced off with swords, and it was soon clear that this match was about testing Bram’s strength, not an actual fight.

‘Are you certain you’re wanting to do this?’ Ross asked, circling Bram.

He gave a short nod, testing the weight of the claymore with a few practice swings.

Ross slashed out with his weapon, striking a blow that Bram barely defended. The ring of metal resounded in the afternoon and Nairna gripped the broomstick harder.

Despite the endless opportunities, not once did Bram counter the attack or gain the advantage against Ross. He blocked the blows, but did little else. It was defence, nothing more.

Though he continued to meet Ross’s attacks, deflecting the blade, Bram’s expression was grey. His eyes were glazed, his footing unstable.

He’s not ready for this, Nairna thought to herself. She kept sweeping, until the threshold was so clean she’d probably eradicated every last speck of dust. Yet she couldn’t tear herself away from the fight.

Sweat gleamed upon Bram’s forehead, his stare unfocused. Despite his attempts to stave off Ross’s blade, the weariness burdened him until, at last, Ross stopped the fight, dissatisfied with what he’d seen.

‘Let’s try a different weapon.’ He unsheathed his dirk, the short blade glinting in the morning sun.

At the sight of the weapon, Bram froze, his eyes growing distant. It was similar to the expression Nairna had seen before, when she’d cut his hair.

Bram’s gaze paled as he stared at the dirk, seeing it, but not responding. Ross slashed the blade, adjusting his weight on the balls of his feet.

Alex moved towards them, unsheathing his own dirk and offering, ‘I’ll loan you mine for practice.’ He flipped the weapon into the air, the blade turning edge over edge. Bram made no move to catch it and it struck the dirt at his feet.

Emptiness filled up his expression and it was as if he were no longer aware of his surroundings. Bram stared at the ground and despite Ross’s prompting, he appeared lost.

To regain his attention, Ross sliced at Bram’s sleeve, drawing a line of blood. The reaction was instantaneous.

Bram let out a raw cry, reaching for the blade and lunging at Ross. In his eyes, there was no sense of control, only wildness.

He lashed out at Ross, moving like a primal animal with the blade gripped in his hand. The older man’s nimble footing saved him from being stabbed more than once.

Sweat dripped down Bram’s brow, his movements slicing over and over. If the fight continued, Bram would either kill Ross or lose face before his brothers.

No one else knew that he wasn’t aware of what he was doing. The madness had him in its vicious grip and Nairna couldn’t stand aside and let it go on. Someone would be hurt.

‘Enough!’ she called out. ‘Bram, let him go.’

But he gave the command no heed, though Ross lowered his blade. Instead, he sought to take advantage of the older man’s weakness, surging forwards.

‘Alex, stop him,’ Nairna pleaded. The chief took up his sword and stepped between them, shoving Bram backwards until he sprawled onto his backside, his head striking against the stone wall. A trickle of blood ran down his temple and Nairna rushed to his side.

Within his brown eyes, she saw the pain and the clarity. For now, he’d regained his senses.

Nairna sent a sharp look towards the chief. They’d wanted to judge Bram’s strength, and now they had their answers. He wasn’t ready to fight and she saw no reason to humiliate him any further.

‘We’ll have another go at it later,’ Ross said. But he exchanged a glance with Alex and neither looked pleased.

Nairna helped Bram rise to a standing position. His palm still gripped the dirk and he strode over to Ross, offering it back.

Afterwards, he took Nairna’s hand, gripping her palm firmly. Though heavy circles lined his eyes, he appeared furious with her for stopping the fight.

Without releasing her, Bram continued walking across the fortress, through the inner bailey and towards the outer gates. Where he was taking her, Nairna didn’t know, but it was evident he didn’t want anyone else to be nearby for their conversation.

So be it. But she had no regrets about ending the fight.

‘Where are we going?’ she asked.

Bram didn’t answer, but led her to a small wooded copse. Her feet crunched upon pine needles and dry leaves as they travelled away from the fortress, the land sloping uphill. By the time they reached the top of the ridge, Nairna was out of breath and lightheaded from the effort.

The view from the top was startling and she could see for miles around. Lush green hills cradled the valley and the silver reflection of the loch sparkled in the afternoon sun. From the slight altitude, mists shifted between the hills, giving it a ghostly air.

She sat down upon a large stone in the clearing to catch her breath.

‘Why did you stop the training?’ Bram moved forwards, his face tight with displeasure. His hand came to lift her chin up and she faltered at the blistering anger in his eyes.

‘To keep you from killing Ross. You weren’t in control of yourself.’

‘It wasn’t your right.’ He glared at her, but Nairna refused to feel guilty about it.

‘Do you even remember the fight?’ she asked. ‘Because when you went after him with your knife, you weren’t even looking at him. Like the night when you grabbed my wrist.’

Bram raked a hand through his hair and he sent her a hard look. ‘It was nothing like that. I remember … most of the fight.’

‘Do you?’ She doubted it. And from the uncertainty on his face, it was clear that he had been caught up with pieces of the past.

‘I don’t think you should go after Callum,’ she said bluntly. ‘Let your brothers bring him back.’

‘They don’t know Cairnross the way I do,’ he argued. ‘And I left him behind once. I’ll not do it again.’

She stood, walking slowly towards him. Gently, she took his wrists and raised his hands in front of his face. Bram’s fingers were trembling and he had no control over the agitated movement.

‘I know you want to protect him. But you need more time. You don’t eat. You don’t sleep. How can you possibly help him when you’re like this?’

‘I don’t have time to waste, Nairna. With every moment I spend here, it’s another second he’s suffering.’ His eyes were dark with fury.

He pulled his hands free, as if he had no intention of abandoning his quest. ‘Don’t try to stop me from fighting. It’s something I have to do.’

Nairna tried a different approach. Softening her voice, she asked, ‘Are you trying to punish yourself for what happened?’

The guilt in his eyes revealed it. If he died trying to free his brother, he wouldn’t care.

‘I gave Callum my word.’ Bram moved away from her, walking to the edge of the clearing, where the valley lay below them. ‘And I keep my promises.’

She took a deep breath, wondering why she was trying to convince him at all. ‘Why did you bring me here?’ she asked, changing the subject.

‘It’s where we’re going to live. If it pleases you.’

A home … and land of their own? She’d never guessed they would ever possess such a valuable place. She glanced around. Though several trees needed to be cleared, the ridge was in a strategic location above the valley. From here, they could see invaders from miles away. It was beautiful and wild, but even so, it struck her as isolated.

‘Did your brother grant you the land?’

‘He did.’ Bram’s hand rested at his side, and he added, ‘I refused to assume his position as chief, though it was my father’s wish.’

She nearly asked why, but kept silent. It was clear that Bram had no desire to take his brother’s place. And in return, Alex had granted him land worthy of his birthright.

‘What sort of house will you build?’ she asked. The land wasn’t suited for farming, but the lush grasses were perfect for sheep or goats.

‘As long as it’s dry and warm, it doesn’t matter to me, Nairna. You can choose whatever sort of shelter you want. My kinsmen will help us to build it.’

Bram stared out at the hills, crouching on one knee. He reached for a clump of grass, tearing out a handful. He let the grasses slip from his fingers until he held nothing in his palm. ‘You truly don’t believe I can get Callum back, do you?’

Heaviness weighed down his voice, and though she had no wish to hurt him, neither would she lie.

‘Not the way you are now, no.’ She moved towards him as he stood up.

‘You don’t think I’m strong enough.’ He took her hands and brought them to his shoulders. She felt the tight muscles, the lean strength that could not be denied. And he wanted her to know it.

‘Strength doesn’t matter when you’re facing arrows or swords,’ she answered. A knot caught in her throat and she grew more aware of how close he stood to her. If she moved a few inches forwards, her face would be pressed against the warmth of his chest.

‘I suppose I shouldn’t have come back for you, Nairna.’ He turned her to face the open meadow, framed by the tall green mountains. ‘I’m not much of a husband, am I?’

He removed his cloak, setting it over her shoulders. The wool still held the warmth of his skin and she drew it around her, as though it were an embrace.

‘I don’t suppose I’m much of a wife, either,’ she admitted, the buried pain rising up again.

‘Why would you say that?’

She hugged her waist and wondered how to tell him what needed to be said. He deserved the truth and it was wrong to keep it from him. She stared at the hills rising in the distance, her eyes burning with unshed tears.

‘Because you’ll want children and I can’t give them to you.’

Bram said nothing at first. He didn’t even look at her, but kept his gaze fixed upon the gleaming loch that shimmered through the trees. Her spirits lowered and she added, ‘For three years we tried. And … nothing.’

His damning silence bothered her. She supposed she’d hoped he would reassure her, but he didn’t. He kept staring at the valley below, and with every second that passed, her spirits sank lower. She couldn’t read his thoughts to know whether he was angry or whether he simply didn’t care.

Nairna turned to walk away, needing a few moments to pull her hurt feelings back together. She only got a few paces before Bram caught up to her. He pulled her into an embrace, lowering his face to her hair. She stood with him, surrounded by nothing except the misty air and the wooded hills. His strong arms held her tight, and the quiet action said more than any words ever could.

Her tears dampened his tunic, and she felt another piece of her heart beginning to crumble away.