Читать книгу Highlanders Collection - Бренда Джойс, Ann Lethbridge - Страница 20

The chamber door opened and Bram saw his wife standing there, looking utterly defeated. It didn’t surprise him that Grizel had cut her down. His mother had no sympathy in her at all, nor kindness.

He wanted to draw Nairna into his arms, telling her it didn’t matter. But he didn’t move, uncertain of his wife’s mood right now.

‘You were right,’ Nairna said, her voice heavy. She sat down upon the edge of the bed, staring at the stone wall. ‘You needn’t say it.’

‘It’s my fault,’ Bram heard himself saying. ‘She’s angry with me and you bore the brunt of it.’

‘No.’ Nairna’s hands dug into her skirts, and he heard the anger in her voice. ‘It wasn’t your fault she chose to shut everyone else out.’

Bram came to sit beside her, not knowing what to say, but his wife looked angrier that he’d ever seen her.

‘You’re her son,’ Nairna said. ‘She has no right to blame you for an accident. It was the English who killed your father, not you.’

‘He wouldn’t have been caught in the fight, if I hadn’t run towards them.’

‘You don’t know that.’ Nairna drew her feet up, tucking them beneath the frayed skirt. ‘She should be grateful you’re alive, not angry.’

Bram rested his arm across her shoulders and Nairna came to him, burying her face in his chest. The warmth of her body permeated his, and against his better judgement, he pressed her back on the bed until she lay on her side facing him.

Only a hand’s distance separated them as they lay together. A lock of brown hair curled over her shoulder and he tucked it back, staring at her face. Nairna stilled, watching him with wariness. But he made no move to touch her; he simply absorbed her features.

‘I’m glad you’re alive,’ she whispered, reaching out to touch the scar upon his throat. At the softness of her fingers upon his skin, he closed his eyes.

She traced the mark of the shackle that had chained him. ‘Does this hurt you?’

He shook his head. It was only the sensation of her touch that was starting to have a different impact. Heat rushed through his veins and he rolled onto his stomach to hide the physical response to her.

‘Bram,’ Nairna whispered. ‘I’m sorry I forced you to come here.’

‘You didn’t know.’

Her hand moved against his hair, fingering the edges. ‘We’ll leave in the morning. If any of the other women want to come back with us, I’ll ask—’

He caught her hand, bringing her palm to his mouth. With his lips, he reverenced her skin, bringing it over his roughened cheeks. He heard her slight gasp of air; immediately he released her hand and sat up.

He didn’t want to push her too quickly or frighten her. To distract both of them, he pointed out a gown draped over one of the chairs.

‘Lord Locharr left that for you,’ he remarked. ‘He bought it for my mother, but she refused to wear it.’

Made of silk in the Norman style, the kirtle was deep purple, with narrow sleeves and a sleeveless surcoat to be worn over it.

‘I don’t need a gown—’ Nairna started to protest, but Bram cut her off.

‘I haven’t seen you wear any colours since we came from your father’s house. I’d like to see you in it.’

Nairna didn’t speak for a long time. When she did, she asked, ‘Do my clothes bother you?’

Jesu, he wasn’t intending to criticise her. ‘It doesn’t matter to me what you wear. But you used to wear colours and I thought you might like it. That’s all.’

She sat up, as if considering it. When she looked back at him, her face was crimson. ‘I have no ladies’ maid to help me dress. But if you’ll help me, I’ll … try it on.’

Nairna turned her back, reaching for the silk gown. The fabric felt smooth, and the weave was so fine she knew instantly how costly it was.

She loosened the laces of her gown, only to feel Bram’s hands upon her. He stood behind her, and when she lifted her outer woollen gown away there was nothing but a thin shift to cover her bare skin. His fingers stroked over her shoulders, down her bared arms.

The length of his manhood pressed against her backside, as he kissed her neck. His arm slid around her, then he brought it higher to rest over the mounds of her breasts. Her nipples tightened against his forearm and the needs rose up inside, clouding her mind.

Bram turned her to face him. The hunger on his face was undeniable, as if he were holding back by a mere thread. Upon his face she saw the strained control and it bothered her, knowing she was the cause of it.

Hotheaded, Grizel had called Bram. Undisciplined and rebellious, ruled by his temper.

But that wasn’t Bram at all, she realised. Not anymore. If anything, he’d reined in his emotions, locking them away. He wouldn’t release anything and the tension was taking its pound of flesh from him.

He’d imprisoned his spirit, as surely as the chains had imprisoned his body. A dark loneliness seemed to dwell inside him, after his own family had abandoned him.

Grizel’s accusations infuriated Nairna, that she would blame her son for the unfortunate turn of fate. Bram wasn’t responsible for Tavin’s death, or Callum’s imprisonment. And until he could accept the truth of it, he would be caught in shackles of his own making.

His hands moved back up to her shoulders, while his mouth explored the skin of her neck. Nairna held herself motionless, unsure of what her husband had started.

He turned her to face him and his eyes were heated with need. She stood on her tiptoes, wondering if she dared to kiss him. When she did, his reaction was immediate, his mouth claiming hers in a frenzy, as though he wanted to absorb her into his skin.

The more she tried to satiate the desire, the worse it grew. He caressed her bottom, and as his tongue delved inside her mouth, she felt the heat building inside her.

He seized the hem of her shift, pulling it up until he bared her womanhood. Embarrassment pooled inside her, but it dissipated a moment later when his hands moved to part her legs. He cupped her intimately, as if learning the shape of her body.

With his fingers, he traced the seam that led to her entrance, and she moaned as his finger passed over a sensitive spot.

She tried to move his hand away, but he explored further, dipping his fingers against her opening. With his thumb, he pressed inside, and she felt the gentle invasion.

‘I want you, Nairna,’ he murmured against her mouth. ‘I want to claim you. As your husband.’

She shuddered as he withdrew his thumb and pressed it inside again in silent imitation of the way he would join their bodies together, if she yielded to him.

Though her body was ready to accept him, her mind tangled up with apprehension. Bram was so different from Iver, and she was afraid of the feelings he’d stirred within her. To grant herself a little more time, she whispered, ‘Tonight.’

His dark eyes grew heated and he stroked her one more time before withdrawing his hand. ‘Tonight,’ he agreed.

Nairna eased her shift down to cover her nakedness. Her body ached with frustration while Bram helped her to don the purple gown. The soft fabric felt good against her skin, just as Bram’s hands had felt sensual upon her body.

With every touch as he dressed her, she felt herself falling a little deeper into the spell of his arousal. Her breathing was unsteady when he laced the gown and she tried to calm her heartbeat.

She found herself thinking about the man Bram had become. Though his exterior was guarded against any emotions, there were traces of the boy he’d been. The flower he’d left inside her glove … the way he’d held her so tightly upon his return. She believed that there was more he felt for her, though he wouldn’t say it.

Nerves skittered within her stomach as she considered what would happen later, when they shared a bed. Beneath his façade of control, did any of their past feelings remain? Or was it merely wishful imaginings?

As they joined Lord Locharr and the other women for a light evening meal, Nairna wished she’d ignored her fears and succumbed to his touch. For now, she couldn’t stop thinking of it.

The night blurred with a sea of faces. Bram would have preferred to take his meal alone, in his room, but Nairna had wanted to speak with the women and children.

He watched her talk to them, moving from one person to the next. She listened to each of them, asking questions that he couldn’t hear from his position. When it was clear that she intended to speak with everyone, he excused himself from the table and retreated outside.

Noises and sounds overwhelmed him and he needed the calm silence of the night. Overhead, the sky brewed heavy clouds that threatened to spill out with rain. He found Dougal curled up asleep in the stables, as if he were trying to guard the horses.

Grizel had hardly spared her youngest son a glance. It was as if all of them were dead to her. He didn’t understand why she would turn her back on Dougal. Though the lad was hot-tempered, it was only immaturity. He could see Dougal’s fierce craving for attention, even if Grizel couldn’t.

Bram continued past the inner curtain wall, walking without thought. The minutes dragged on and he settled back, sitting against the wall to stare at the moonlight.

He couldn’t stop thinking about Nairna. He wanted to strip away her clothing and lay her upon their bed, learning every part of her body.

Earlier, when he’d touched her intimately, he’d been heavily aroused by her wetness. To know that she desired him, that her body was ready for him to sink deep within her moist depths, was a startling discovery.

His mind had filled up with images of penetrating her, feeling the wetness enclosing him like a smooth sheath. Nothing in his life could have prepared him for the instinctive needs that were claiming control of his mind. And then, as if to torment his mind further, he saw her walking towards him.

‘There you are,’ she said, reaching down a hand to him. He supposed she’d come to lead him back to their chamber.

But instead of taking her hand and rising, he didn’t move. If he touched her at all, he’d pull her into his lap and kiss her with all the pent-up savagery that lurked beneath.

Nairna lowered her hand, her face growing concerned. He took a deep breath. First one, then another, until he steadied his racing heart. The cold stone wall pressed against his spine, and with his eyes closed his senses grew calmer.

‘Bram?’ Confusion misted her features and she lowered her hand when he didn’t take it. ‘Is everything all right?’

He inclined his head, saying nothing more. He needed to seize control of his thoughts, to force the past back into the shadows.

‘Some of the women have agreed to return,’ Nairna told him. ‘Not everyone, but it’s a start.’ Twisting her hands together, she added, ‘Grizel isn’t among them, if that’s what you’re wondering.’

‘I wasn’t.’ He knew his mother had made her choice and nothing would soften her heart. He didn’t care what she thought of him, but it irritated him that she would also cut off Dougal.

The rain started to pour down at that moment and Nairna reached for him again. This time, her hand closed over his, and she pleaded, ‘Come inside. Take shelter with me.’

The sky had turned the colour of a dark bruise, while the rain intensified. It spattered upon her flesh and gown, giving him little choice but to follow her

As they entered the keep, he imagined peeling off her gown from her body, tasting the droplets of rain from her skin. He wanted to drink from her, to satiate the thirst that grew within him.

They crossed over to the spiral staircase, avoiding the crowd of women and children. He let Nairna lead him above stairs, and as she walked, he stared at her slender figure and the way her body moved with grace.

When they reached the bedchamber, he closed the door behind them and lowered the bar. Outside, the rain poured down upon the roof, the sound strangely comforting.

Nairna was saying something about Lord Locharr and the women, but damned if he had any idea what words had just come out of her mouth. He stared at her, mutely aware that she’d unfastened her hair and the wet strands rested upon her shoulders. She backed up to him, pulling her hair over one shoulder while she continued talking.

‘Will you help me with this?’ she asked.

Bram stared at her bared neck, and the urge to kiss the exposed skin grew stronger. Nairna struggled to lift away the sodden surcoat.

The damp silk was like a fire to his arousal, burning away his defences as he unlaced her. Beneath her gown, the wet shift revealed the dusky rose of her nipples. Lust speared him—God above, he wanted her. But he was afraid that if he dared to touch her, he would forget himself and behave like an animal.

Nairna went to search among her belongings and withdrew the smooth stone he’d given her before. ‘I kept this with me when you left to go after Callum. Like a charm to bring you back to me.’

She pressed it into his hand to hold, then unfolded something else. It was a faded crimson ribbon, ragged at the edges. She reached up to her wet hair and tied it back with the ribbon. ‘And you gave this to me when we were young.’

‘You kept it.’ He never imagined she would, after all these years.

‘It was the only thing I had left of you.’

Within her voice, he heard the unspoken longing and it fired his desire. He took the stone, bringing its smooth surface down the column of her throat. Wet from the rain upon her skin, he slid it further, until it rested upon her heart. ‘I remember when you used to bring me water, while I was training.’

Nairna covered his palm with hers and he slid the stone lower, beneath the curve of her breast, tracing around it. His wife’s breath sharpened, but she didn’t stop him.

‘I remember that I slept alone on my wedding night, when you should have been there beside me.’

‘I was sixteen and thoughtless.’ He brought the stone over her wet shift, using the gentle pressure to arouse her. Her nipple grew taut, straining through the fabric for his touch. He used the flat stone to caress her, before he brought her to sit upon a chair.

Kneeling before her, he remembered how sensitive her legs were. He touched her ankles and brought his mouth to her knees. He kissed the rounded skin as he caressed her calves. Immediately, tingles swept through her in response.

Her breathing grew unsteady, and her knuckles tightened upon the arms of the chair. He flicked his tongue behind her knee and she exhaled, reaching for his hair.

But he wouldn’t let her go. His hands moved over the softness of her legs while his mouth moved between her thighs.

Her womanhood lay bared before him, and when he spread her legs apart he could see the moist rose flesh. Though he was tempted to touch her there, he waited, letting the anticipation fill her as he kissed the soft skin leading towards it.

She closed her eyes, lifting up her face as if she couldn’t bear the intensity of his touch. Her cheeks were flushed, her body trembling.

His own hands began to shake and the room suddenly blurred before his eyes. Hell’s teeth, not this. Not now. He blinked, trying to clear away the dizziness.

‘Bram, what is it?’

He took a deep breath, but the chamber shifted again, the floor seeming to move beneath his feet. He couldn’t seem to regain control of his vision.

‘I need a moment.’ He turned away from her, striding to the window. He rested his hands against the stones, as if he could gain steadiness from them. The exhaustion of being without sleep for so long was making it harder for him to stand upright. The weakness infuriated him.

Behind him, he heard Nairna’s soft footsteps. She touched his arm, but he didn’t turn around. His hands dug into the limestone, trying to reclaim his hold upon the moment between them. But his body wouldn’t co-operate with the desires of his mind.

For a long moment Nairna said nothing, but merely rested her hand upon him. When he continued his silence, at last, he heard her retreating towards the bed.

‘It’s all right,’ he heard Nairna say. ‘Come and rest beside me. I won’t ask anything of you.’

Hearing the sadness in her voice made him even angrier at himself. He wanted to touch her, to satiate this reckless craving inside him. But he didn’t trust himself, not when his vision and senses were failing him.

‘Wait for me in the bed and I’ll join you later.’ Leaning against the hard back of the chair, he closed his eyes. The darkness enfolded him in its suffocating arms and he struggled to find control over his body and mind.

The rainstorm raged outside, but Nairna felt as if she might as well be caught in it. The shelter didn’t seem to matter, for her husband was slumped in a chair, his posture awkward.

What had gone wrong? One moment, he’d treated her like a desirable woman, while the next, he’d seemed unaware of his surroundings. Now, his eyes were closed, as if he were suffering in some way.

The wind battered the wooden shutters; the eerie sound seemed to disturb Bram within his sleep. He was mumbling something she couldn’t understand.

Nairna didn’t know what was happening, but she couldn’t simply remain in bed and wait. Bram’s eyes remained closed, but he sat up when another howl of the wind penetrated the space.

The shutter rattled against the window, grinding wood against stone. Bram’s eyes flew open at the sound.

‘It’s nothing,’ she reassured him. ‘Just the storm.’

But it was as if he hadn’t heard her at all. His face was pale, his mouth set in a firm line. Nairna reached out a hand to take his palm, but he didn’t return the faint squeeze. His skin was cold, as if he’d been sleeping outside.

‘Are you awake?’ she whispered, already knowing the answer.

He stared right through her. What nightmares tormented him, she didn’t know. But he wasn’t aware of their surroundings, nor even of her.

‘Come and lie down,’ she murmured, hoping to coax him back to sleep. When she reached for his waist, she struggled to draw him to his feet, and thankfully it was only a few paces before she pushed him back to the bed.

He sat down and she helped him to undress. The darkness hid his body, but she eased him beside her.

When she started to cover him with the blanket, she didn’t know if he had regained awareness or was still asleep. Her answer came when he seized her, holding her in a tight embrace. He held her as if gaining warmth and comfort. She rested her cheek against his bare chest and heard the rapid heartbeat.

Though his hands were cold, his body was far warmer than she’d imagined. In his embrace, her skin grew heated, warming the damp shift. She tried to move beneath the coverlet and the motion pulled at her linen shift, baring her breasts.

Though likely he couldn’t see her in the darkness, she felt awkward and vulnerable with her bare skin against his. Bram lay on top of her with his mouth against her throat, his breath intensifying her pulse beat. The thickness of his manhood rested between her thighs.

She felt herself go liquid at the thought of him claiming her.

‘Don’t hurt him,’ he whispered against her skin. ‘Not Callum. Let me take his place.’

Nairna saw that her husband’s eyes were closed. He wasn’t aware of anything that was happening. ‘It’s a dream,’ she told him. ‘You’re safe now.’ She touched his forehead, smoothing his hair over.

‘Nairna,’ he murmured.

‘I’m here.’ She stroked his bristled cheek, trying to soothe him. His grip relaxed as she touched his face, silently easing the nightmare.

As his embrace softened, she saw the desperate need inside him, for peace. And he’d found it within her arms.

She leaned down and pressed a kiss upon his mouth. He answered it, taking her lips with his own. The years turned back and she remembered what it was to kiss the shy young man she’d agreed to marry.

As his kiss deepened, she found herself opening to him. She wanted to reclaim the past, to become the wife she’d never been.

Bram rolled over, bringing her on top of him. Nairna’s legs opened, cradling his heavy thighs. Her bare breasts pressed against his chest, while she could feel his hardened erection against her womanhood. Her shift was bunched up, bringing them together intimately. The touch of his shaft against her wet entrance was so very tempting.

Slowly, clarity transformed Bram’s expression until he no longer appeared lost in a dream.

‘Did I hurt you?’ he asked. ‘I don’t remember what happened.’

‘You were talking about Callum.’ She traced her fingertips over his chest, and as she touched him his length shifted against her. The desire to take him inside her body was provoking erotic thoughts. She wanted to feel the sensation of him deep within, and when he moved a second time, the blunt head of him evoked a sensual pleasure she hadn’t expected to feel.

Before she could realise what he was doing, Bram wrenched her shift free of her thighs and pulled it over her head. He lifted her hips, guiding her higher until he was poised against her wetness. The firm length seemed to tease at her secret flesh, and she gasped when he eased her up, sliding her against his shaft.

She moaned when he stroked over the soft hair above her woman’s flesh, the ache intensifying into a shaking desire she couldn’t control. Her body shifted against his erection and she needed to take him deep inside.

She was wet and aching, and in the darkness she didn’t know where he would touch her next. His hands slid over her waist, up her ribcage, to tease at her nipples. Without warning, a hot mouth covered one of them, and as he suckled her she felt his length probing inside.

Nairna tried to relax against the invasion, but it had been a long time since she’d taken a man. In spite of the restless needs, she grew tense.

Bram brought her onto her back, only partially inside her. He pulled back again, slowly moving deeper, until their bodies were joined. For a moment, he held still and she struggled to adjust. When he pulled back, a primal instinct made her arch to receive him. The friction when he entered caused another surge of wetness and she waited for something to happen.

Beneath her palms, she could feel his racing heartbeat. Though she tried to adjust her hips to take him in a little further, she started to forget what she was doing when he began to move in rhythm.

The pulsing motion surged against her, and as he filled her she sensed something building inside. There was a rising pleasure that she’d never felt before. Her breathing quickened and she started pressing back in counter pressure to his thrusts.

But then when she gave a slight cry, Bram slowed down. He pumped a few more times inside her and gripped her hips as he shuddered with release.

Nairna lay beneath him, unmoving. Bram rested atop her, his weight fully relaxed. Confused, she reached up to touch his hips, hoping he would start up again. It seemed incomplete somehow.

‘Bram?’ she whispered, running her hands up to his neck. But the only answer from her husband was silence and a deep breathing that told her he’d fallen asleep at long last. He didn’t even notice when she extricated herself from him, rolling over to sleep.

Her body was still unbearably aroused, despite the soreness, and she wished she knew what it was she needed.

She nestled closer to him, trying to find the elusive sleep. And though Bram never once let her free of his embrace, it was a long time before her body calmed down enough to find slumber.