Читать книгу Royals Untamed! - Andie Brock, Annie West - Страница 17

CHAPTER NINE

DUTY.

The word tasted sour in her mouth and, as dusk had given way to darkness, Amber began to doubt what she was doing. Had she been right to expect she could turn her back on Barazbin and walk away from Kazim? Everything had suddenly become much more complicated than it had seemed as they’d stood talking about it in the small flat in Paris.

If she wasn’t marooned in the desert she would probably want to get the first plane home. But where was home? Annie and Claude were in America, and her father still showed no interest in reconciliation, despite her mother’s impromptu visit and unexplained message.

Outside the tent she heard voices and hurried activity as the wind picked up, but was too distracted with her thoughts to give it much more than a fragment of her attention. Instead, she made her way into one of the large bedrooms that was hung with deep purple and gold cloth. It was most definitely regal and every comfort had been catered for. The bed, although almost at floor level, was large and sumptuous, adorned with so many cushions of gold and purple she wondered if she should just curl up among them. It was late and tiredness made the prospect of doing exactly that so very enticing, but the heat in Kazim’s eyes when they had arrived stopped her. He’d said he’d wanted her to stay here with him. Each word had been full of the promise of possession and, right now, she wanted that. Wanted to be with him, share the midnight hours with the man she loved and pretend he loved her back.

At that moment, as if conjured up by a dream, Kazim pulled back the curtains that served as a door and walked in, his presence totally overwhelming the splendour of the tent. The incense that had earlier smelt so uplifting had become masked by his intoxicating scent, desert mixed with musky aftershave. Her heart started the pounding it always did when he was near but, remembering their parting discussion, she stood tall, the strength of her gaze locking with his.

Was he here in her quarters of this lavish tent out of a sense of duty, as his parting words to her had suggested? Or did he want to continue what he’d started at the polo weekend? Questions whirred in her mind. Had that night been his dutiful seduction routine? His quest for an heir?

‘Should we continue discussing our duty towards your country?’ Her words, sharper than any blade, were delivered with fierce accuracy as those last thoughts sank in.

He didn’t flinch, his steady gaze, as hard as obsidian, never left her face. He stepped into the sanctuary of her quarters, allowing the curtain to fall back into place behind him, cocooning them in a world as unreal as anything she’d ever known.

‘When were you going to tell me, Amber?’ His question was delivered with slow precision and she blinked against the icy tone of each word, unable to decipher what he meant.

‘Tell you what, exactly?’ Not sure how to answer, she tried for nonchalance but, with her heart hammering wildly just from seeing him standing, raw and potent, before her, she knew she hadn’t pulled it off. If anything, she’d sounded guilty. But guilty of what?

‘That you and your father have been funding the rebel attacks on my people.’ His face darkened as if storm clouds had rolled in across the desert and at any moment she expected a crack of thunder and a flash of lightning before a deluge of rain. But he remained as firm and resolute as before, condemnation etched deep into his handsome face.

Amber stood motionless and took in his words, the harsh accusation in his eyes watching her every move. Even when she blinked she was sure he was aware of it. It didn’t make sense. She had hardly had enough money to live this past year, having not had any help from anyone, not even her parents. Just how had he come up with the idea that she and her father were paying rebels to attack his people?

‘Who told you that?’ Like a lioness on the prowl she pounced to deny the charge, throwing her own question back at him. How dare he come marching into her quarters insinuating she was behind such a thing?

‘It doesn’t matter who told me—what matters is your answer. So I will ask again. When were you going to tell me that you have been using the money I sent to your father, for you to live in a manner befitting your role as my princess, to support the rebels?’ He moved closer to her, unnerving her with every glance, every stride. It wasn’t his obvious anger but much more the man himself—a man she wanted and loved, but a man who only wanted her out of duty.

‘Whatever it is my father has done, I have had no part in,’ she said and tossed her head to flick her hair from her face, the movement drawing his eyes, his scrutiny.

She thought of her mother’s visit, the bizarre claim that it would ruin them if Kazim found out. She’d looked anxious and for the first time Amber wondered if her mother was more afraid of the man she’d married than she was of the man she’d married her daughter to. She closed her eyes briefly, knowing she should have told Kazim as soon as her mother had left. She should have pushed aside any ill placed loyalty for her father. So why hadn’t she?

The look of terror on her mother’s face, the tremor in her voice, the like of which she’d never seen her mother display before, had held her back.

‘Is it not true you knew he’d used my money and you didn’t even tell me? Instead, you acted as if you were a complete spendthrift when we were in London.’ He stopped talking and looked at her, as if willing her to say something else, to deny his words. But they were in part true. She had let him think she was looking for more money, more gifts.

She’d let him think the worst of her out of self-preservation. What she hadn’t told him was that she’d never seen any of the money he’d sent to her and that her father had kept it all. She hadn’t even known about the money until those first comments in Paris. His questions hadn’t been direct, but still she’d hidden behind the lie. She’d been protecting her heart then and now she was saying nothing out of loyalty to her mother.

Kazim swore harshly and strode to the far side of the tent before turning quickly. ‘Damn it, Amber, I trusted you! I believed every word you said when all along you were only after as much as you could get.’

She watched in stunned silence as he ploughed his fingers through his thick dark hair and wondered if there was anything she could say to sort this. But whatever she said would expose her true feelings for him, so wasn’t it for the best, just as she’d thought in Paris, for him to think the worst of her—that she was a money-hungry woman? At least then they could go their separate ways.

Her heart broke at the thought, but she knew it would be harder and a much bigger heartbreak if she stayed with him any longer. She shouldn’t have agreed to return to Barazbin. ‘You should never have come to find me, Kazim.’

‘I was a fool for thinking you could be part of my life, part of the future of Barazbin. A damn fool.’ His angry words resounded around the rich heavy fabric and her legs weakened until she thought she was going to collapse into a heap in the middle of the cushions.

‘I was the fool for ever agreeing to the marriage in the first place.’ Anger fizzed into her veins, giving life to new strength. ‘I don’t want to be a burdensome duty for anyone. I just want to be happy.’

‘Happy.’ That one word, spoken with his heavy accent, seemed to shake the whole tent and she glanced around her as every piece of the fabric wall moved and swayed. ‘To be happy is not on our wish list, Amber. We have a duty to our countries, our families.’

‘Just like you had a duty to seduce me with tender caresses and sweet words? Was it your duty to secure the future of Barazbin by producing an heir—without informing me?’ She glared at him, hands on hips, the rising tide of anger peaking. ‘Well, I am sorry to tell you, but there will not be an heir as on those nights we spent together I was using contraception.’

He rounded on her so fast she stepped back into the scattered pillows, almost stumbling on them. ‘Yet more deception.’ His angry words were slow and purposeful. ‘Is there no end to the lengths you will go to?’

‘If you had told me before I agreed to return with you that producing an heir was necessary I would have told you I couldn’t do that.’ She watched as his face hardened, his lips pressing into a thin line. ‘I would have said no, no matter what tantalising blackmail you used.’

‘Your accusation of blackmail is becoming tiresome.’ He stepped ever closer to her, towering over her, but she refused to be intimidated and stood her ground, looking up into his face and deep into the depths of his eyes, now so glacial. ‘But I cannot tolerate your deception.’

‘My deception!’ Amber gasped out the words and, as if in echo to her shock, the fabric walls billowed again with the fury of a force far greater than their anger. Shouts could be heard, orders being barked out and people running. She watched as he looked around, saw his eyes narrow in suspicion and then his jaw clench. She wanted to reach out to him, to ask him for reassurance but, from the worried look on his face, she doubted he could give her any.

She knew the wind had picked up. She might have spent most of her adult life in Europe, but she knew the desert winds were capable of coming out of nowhere. Kazim’s earlier talk of the ever changing desert came back to her, and the panicked shouts of men outside worried her. Something was very wrong.

* * *

Kazim looked around him, his attention diverted by the way the tent billowed in, making the gold fabric shimmer in the light from the lantern. The wind had picked up but something far worse was happening out there. His gaze rested again on Amber, the anger he’d experienced at her deception receding like the tide. He’d brought her to the desert and could well have put her in danger. Once again, someone he was close to was going to be hurt. He adamantly refused to look deeper into that thought.

‘Stay here.’ He took hold of her arms and forced her to look at him. ‘Do you hear me? Stay here.’

‘What is it?’ she asked, her words laced with panic. He knew he’d scared her more than necessary.

‘I will be back in a few minutes but, whatever you do, stay here.’ He injected as much urgency into his voice as possible and the heat of her arms beneath his hands grounded him somehow.

Before he had time to reconsider he left her, tossing aside the curtain to her quarters roughly, and made his way to the main entrance of the tent, now secured for the night. Quickly he opened it and one look outside told him all he needed to know. Nature was taunting them with the threat of a sandstorm, but the frenzied activities of the nomads suggested only one thing.

They were under attack.

‘Kazim?’

He swore and turned to face Amber as she now stood in the main living quarters. ‘Can you ever do as you are told?’ With harsh movements he secured the tent entrance again and hoped the rebels wouldn’t attack in full force. He was torn. Stay with Amber or go to the nomads?

‘What’s happening?’ Her voice quivered with fear but he was still angry that she hadn’t heeded his warning and stayed where she was. In her quarters at the back of the tent was the best place for both of them to be.

‘A desert storm is threatening.’

‘But it could get worse, right?’ She looked at him, her face imploring him to tell the truth. Truth! Would she know what that was?

‘It already has.’

‘What do you mean?’ Panic entered her voice once again, and guilt tugged at him.

‘The rebels are out there too. Attack is imminent.’

Her eyes widened in shock, but she didn’t say anything.

Quickly, he took her arm and propelled her towards her quarters. ‘We will go back to where I told you to stay and sit it out. That is the safest and best option.’ His hand locked around hers, almost dragging her back into her quarters as the fabric walls billowed and the wind wailed mournfully around them.

He pulled her down onto the bed, tossing aside some of the cushions in exasperation. ‘We just wait and hope. The threatening storm may be our saviour.’

‘That’s it?’ she snapped and turned to face him, suddenly so very close that his chest tightened and for a moment he couldn’t say anything. ‘That’s your master plan?’

Amber clung to his arm and he closed his eyes against the raging emotions inside him. She was seeking his protection; even if she didn’t utter a word, her actions told him that. His mind raced back in time, to the moment he’d failed to protect his mother. He could hear her scream and feel the fiery pain in his chest as he was pushed against the sharp corner of a marble statue pedestal.

‘Kazim, someone’s trying to get in.’ Amber’s panicked words hurtled him back to the present and he leapt to his feet, preparing to defend.

Relief surged through him as the son of the nomad elder rushed in, his words as hurried as his entrance.

‘What is it?’ Amber asked as the nomad quickly left. ‘Do you need to go?’

He shook his head, trying to regain his usual control, thankful that the wind had played its part to their advantage. ‘They have gone. It seems the wind is mistress of the desert tonight.’

She sighed in relief. ‘Are you sure they won’t come back?’

‘Not tonight,’ he said as he sat next to her, wanting to hold her. ‘All we need to worry about now is the wind and staying safe.’

‘Are you trying to seduce me?’ she teased and his pulse rate rocketed into overdrive.

‘I would not be deceitful enough to use the cover of an impending storm—neither would I need to.’ He looked deep into her eyes, trying to fathom the emotions that were buried within them. The truth was: he did want to seduce her. With every cell in his body he wanted her; despite everything, he still craved the release being with her could give him.

The intensity of that lust was something he’d never experienced before. Usually the novelty of a woman wore off once he’d bedded her, but with Amber it was different. Was that because he’d waited so long to claim her, to then discover that she too had waited and that she was truly his?

‘I wasn’t trying to deceive you, Kazim,’ she said softly as her gaze lowered, those long lashes covering her eyes, hiding her soul from his scrutiny. But her apology only raised more questions.

‘On our wedding day you tried to be something which I now know you were not. Now I discover you knew of your father’s allegiance with the rebels. How can I ever trust you?’

If he could walk away from her at this minute he would. But he couldn’t. They were trapped together in this tent and, judging by the sound of the wind outside, they would be for some time yet. Could he turn it to his advantage? Find out the truth about the woman he’d married, once and for all?

* * *

Amber sighed. Did he not trust anything she’d said or done? ‘From day one of our marriage it was doomed. You didn’t want to believe me; you only wanted to believe what you saw—or what you thought you saw.’

‘What I saw then and still see now is a woman who was very proficient at weaving a web of lies. The same woman who is unable to deny the facts I’ve just presented her with. You do not know truth.’ His words were slow but firm and she glanced up at his profile, his handsome face drawn into a mask of concentration.

Around them the wind buffeted the tent, seemingly determined to gain entry. Nervously she watched the fabric shifting ominously in the low light from the lanterns. It should be romantic, a time for two lovers to come together and lose themselves from the outside world.

But they were not lovers. What they shared was an undeniable spark of attraction—one that demanded satisfaction and one she was sure would fade in time until it was nothing more than glowing coals amidst a dying fire.

‘I was doing my duty, Kazim. Surely you, of all people, can relate to that?’ They had been forced together by the might of the desert and he had to listen to her, had to see why she’d acted as she had. She pressed on before he added anything and distracted her from her mission. ‘It was made very clear to me that, to inherit your father’s kingdom, it was of the utmost importance that our marriage went ahead.’

‘That, at least, is true.’ He picked up a gold cushion, absently examining the braiding. Anything other than look at her it seemed. ‘I was told much the same. As long as we consummated the marriage it did not matter if we lived together afterwards or not—for a while, at least. That is the only reason I agreed to it.’

‘But you weren’t even able to consummate the marriage.’ Anger burst to life once more inside her, rushing through her veins so insistently she wanted to get up off the bed and run as far away as possible. She fought the urge with everything she had. ‘Why was that, Kazim? Did you hate me that much?’

‘No!’ He rounded on her, furiously throwing the cushion aside. ‘I hated that we were forced to marry. I had a life. I’d built up a successful business. I never wanted to inherit.’

He took a deep breath and looked at her and she waited, biting down on her lip anxiously.

‘I didn’t want responsibility either for the people of Barazbin or for you. I didn’t want to desire you or make you truly my wife because you represented all that I resented.’

His harsh words hit hard and she blinked in shock. He really did dislike her and certainly hated the fact that they had been forced to marry. As soon as she could she would leave this country, this man, and go back home to Paris.

‘I had no knowledge of what my father was doing,’ she pushed on, needing to clear her name, but not wanting to cause any problems for her mother. It wasn’t going to be achievable, judging from the look on Kazim’s face.

He got up and marched away from her, pacing across the carpet so fast it was as if he would at any moment walk out beyond the tent and into the desert, which she was quickly realising was his mistress.

He turned to her, anger evident in the rigidity of his stance. ‘You should have told me.’

Her eyes widened in shock. This was the last thing she’d expected to hear from him and she could barely stammer out the words. ‘I couldn’t...my mother...’ she stammered, feeling as if she was losing her footing.

‘Don’t try and tell me you didn’t know anything about it, that your mother was the one who told you.’

‘I didn’t.’ Her words were a strangled whisper, his nearness and the shock of his accusation clamping tightly on her throat. He didn’t believe anything she said and never had.

The blackness of his eyes darkened and the intensity of his gaze became too much and she moved away from him, walking across the carpet as he had just done. Beneath her feet the sand moved, reminding her just how volatile the peace they’d recently shared actually was.

‘But you still didn’t tell me.’ It wasn’t a question, but a statement. One filled with regret. ‘You had plenty of opportunity to tell me on the drive here.’

‘I’m sorry. I didn’t realise the importance or significance of what I’d learnt and then you talked of your father. The time didn’t feel right.’ She wished now she’d insisted she had something important to say, but he’d opened up to her, let her into his world, just for a moment.

‘That was a discussion you forced on me.’ He gritted his teeth and she knew she was pushing him too far, but suddenly she realised she had to.

Here in this tent, with a sandstorm threatening, she had to force him to face up to his emotions. Maybe then there would be a future together, but if there wasn’t she had at least tried. Once and for all she had to admit what was between them. It was up to her, it seemed, to decide just what it was. Suddenly nothing was more important. She had to know what it meant to her, as well as Kazim.

‘You lock everyone out, Kazim. Why?’

His breathing deepened but he remained where he was, glaring at her.

‘Don’t try to analyse my emotions, Amber. That is a game you will not win.’

‘This is not a game. This is real.’ She moved towards him so that she stood close enough to feel the heat from his body, hear the deep breaths he took.

‘Be very careful, Amber.’ He growled out the words. ‘You might find you’re taking on more than you can handle.’

‘I can handle this,’ she snapped, glad that the simmering tension was finally about to boil over. ‘I’m telling you I knew nothing of the money you have been sending to my father. If I did I would never have worked in that club or lived in that flat and it would have been me helping Annie and Claude—me, not you.’

The tirade rushed from her like an avalanche, gathering speed and power as it went until her heart raced and her head throbbed.

His eyes narrowed in suspicion but before he could say anything she pushed on.

‘I admit I came with you to Barazbin because you were going to help Claude, and that I intended to go back to Paris as soon as I could. But I also came because I needed to explore what is between us and because, deep down, I wanted to.’

‘You wanted to?’ He looked at her in complete disbelief. ‘That is as far from the truth as you can possibly get. As soon as I found you in that club you were talking of a divorce.’

‘Because I thought that was what you wanted.’ The wind seemed to rush at the tent but she didn’t take her eyes from his. ‘You rejected me, Kazim, and I will never forget how that felt. I tried to be what you wanted, but it wasn’t enough. The disgust in your eyes nearly killed me.’

It also nearly killed my love for you.

‘I didn’t expect my wife to come with a baggage of scandal.’ The words snapped from him but she didn’t care. The lines of communication had at last been opened. If nothing else, she would find out why he’d turned her away so brutally.

‘But I thought...’ What had she thought? That he’d been so enraged to find out she was an inexperienced virgin, he’d turned her away?

‘What did you think?’ he asked.

‘That a man like you would want a more interesting wife.’

‘No.’ He shook his head and took hold of her arms, pulling her closer and forcing her to look up at him. ‘I wanted my wife to be mine and mine alone. I know now that you are. Despite the many months we’ve been apart, you have always been mine.’

This was too much. Her heart began to swoop and soar with hope. Was he opening his heart to her, allowing her in?

‘Yes, I have,’ she said, scarcely above a whisper. ‘I always have, Kazim. I love you.’