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Generational differences is the one area of diversity where it’s considered okay to cast shade, throw people under the bus, and just plain make fun of perceived failings. For example: “Millennials are entitled babies, Gen Xers are so cynical and apathetic, and don’t even get me started on Boomers. What a workaholic bunch, not to mention they can barely figure out how to send an email from their phones!” Can you even imagine saying these types of things about another area of diversity like religion or gender? No way! It’s amazing to us too, but it does get that vicious, and sometimes even worse.

The biggest hurdle when attempting to make generational theory part of your management strategy is pushback. One may even call it negativity. When fellow managers see you carrying around this book, they may wonder aloud, or to themselves, “Yea, but … aren’t all Millennials just entitled kids who got trophies for trying? Why bother?” The next generation of employees is getting hit full force with these stereotypes. New employees are painted with the broad brush not of the Millennial, but the worst Millennial. These stereotypes make it so that on day one, your new hire is already fighting an uphill battle.

There will be many a detractor/naysayer to the generational conversation. These lingering questions and pushback may be coming straight from you! Here are some of the “yea, buts” that bubble up most often:

❯❯ The psychology “yea, but …”: This topic doesn’t even consider things like whether someone’s an introvert or an extrovert.

❯❯ The life stage “yea, but …”: These kids are going to grow up and end up acting just like us.

❯❯ The outlier “yea, but …”: I’m a Gen Xer, and I’m nothing like that.

❯❯ The stereotyping “yea, but …”: Aren’t you just putting people into a box?

❯❯ The tired-of-conflict “yea, but …”: Aren’t we all just more similar than we are different? We don’t need something that’s going to drive us farther apart from each other.

In the following sections, we take these piece by piece, objection by objection. Once you can clear your mind of them and overcome any lingering “yea, buts …”, you’ll effectively wipe off the smudge on your Gen Lens and see your direct reports more clearly.

Comparing two key perspectives: Sociology versus psychology

Recap: The psychology “yea, but …”: This topic doesn’t even consider things like whether someone’s an introvert or an extrovert.

The first step to addressing this “yea, but …” is understanding that generational theory is a sociological science and not a psychological one. It’s goal, by definition, is to examine how people act and behave in large groups. The “group” in this scenario refers to a generational cohort. It’s the sociological study of how historical events and conditions can impact your generational identity/persona.

Psychology, on the other hand, is focused on the individual. It strives to understand the singular person’s mind, his emotional and social reactions, and the unique things that make him tick. What are that person’s triggers? What makes him happy? What makes him sad? What motivates his behavior? What singular influences played a role in forming his mind and personality?

So, really, the difference between sociology and psychology is as simple as the difference between the micro and the macro. It’s like the difference between what a blue M&M looks and tastes like versus the genre of candy that M&Ms fall into.

Generational theory is a fluid science; it’s completely normal to relate perfectly to a trait or behavioral pattern of your generation and maybe not so much to another. As with any sociological study, there are exceptions and outliers. Generational theory is simply one lens to help people understand one another and the world around us.

WHEN PSYCHOLOGY AND SOCIOLOGY ARE A PERFECT MATCH

Psychology looks at the individual. Sociology focuses on patterns and trends. Both sciences are valid. Both offer useful information, and, in fact, they often work best when paired with one another. In many ways they’re complementary, and we frequently recommend that clients pair the two when trying to understand the people they work with. Be it Kolbe, MBTI, DiSC, or any other psychological assessment you favor – far from contradicting the generations topic, it serves as a useful pairing, like a fine red wine with a nice juicy steak. They are meant to go together, and the one makes the other that much better.

Contrasting the concepts of life stage and generations

Recap: The life stage “yea, but …”: They’re going to grow up and be just like us. Isn’t this just youth culture?

This particular “yea, but …” is a biggie. We aren’t going to try and tell you that there isn’t even a sliver of truth to this assertion. Of course there are certain attitudes and behaviors that are more about life stage and not necessarily specific to generational personalities. Young people will be young. Teenagers will always have messy rooms. Whether that manifests as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed or impulsive and (sometimes) reckless, there is some element of that youth mentality in any set of young people.

Before going any further, find out how to differentiate generation versus life stage versus age. For example, compare a 22-year-old Millennial named Lucy to a 32-year-old Millennial named Mina. They work differently and have varied expectations. Mina is sharp, articulate, and respects unwritten rules – that’s experience. Lucy speaks about college days and what she hopes she can accomplish quickly in her first year. That’s life stage. As true as that may be, these different stages affect their work. If Mina has a mortgage and a child on the way, she may be more inclined to stick with the job longer because security has become more of a priority now that there’s more than one mouth to feed. Both of them are collaborative, energetic, and want to make a difference. That’s generational.

Whenever you feel tempted to chalk a generational behavior up to life stage, try to silence the following micro “yea, but …” life-stage thoughts.

“We all experience these big moments together – we’re more similar than we are different!”

The age location that each generation occupied when they were teenagers is essential to their personalities. It is during this period in time that you’re making up your mind about how you feel about the world around you. You are impressionable and making sense of everything. An example we like to use is the events of September 11. It goes without saying that 9/11 was an event that changed the game for everyone, regardless of one’s generation. But for Millennials, it happened right as they were in their formative (or roughly teenage) years. If you experienced that day as a 60-year-old, it would impact you differently than a middle schooler. For Millennials, the world that had seemed at least relatively safe from the atrocities of global terror was all of a sudden under attack. Their bubble of safety was burst violently, and, for them, the United States was no longer safe from the monstrosities of global terrorism. In the blink of an eye, they too became targets for terrorism, and tomorrow was far from guaranteed.

This “live for today” mentality is one they’ve carried with them, and it won’t change regardless of what life stage they’re occupying, because it’s a trait that was formulated and hardened during their most impressionable years. As Millennials age into parenthood, retirement, and grandparenthood, this trait is likely to hold steady. They’ll always want to make the most of their time in the here and now. Research gurus like Yankelovich and Gallup, among others, have tracked generational characteristics over decades and have found that values for the cohorts have remained consistent regardless of life stage.

“They’ll grow up and be just like generations before”

Xers were always told they were going to grow up and behave just like the Baby Boomers. But we’ve seen something different – even though Xers have aged into another life stage, now with families, homes, and sometimes elderly parents to care for, they’ve still retained their Xer-like qualities and are even passing them on to their Gen Edge kids.

Millennials have long been cast as a generation averse to growing up and averse to settling down, but once they reach “a certain age,” they will. There’s this thought that the traditional cycle of life – education, career, marriage, kids, retirement – is the only way to become an adult. Millennials are not embracing this supposed truth like generations past. Generation Xers also caused a ruckus when they started working and insisted on balance. They shook up the traditional path, and Millennials will, too. They already are by deciding to buy a home as a replacement engagement ring because that commitment is more definite – and definitely more practical. What we’re working to say is, “No, you can’t expect that another generation will act like you once they ‘grow up.’”

“Each life stage is basically the same; parenting will always be parenting”

Being a parent now is quite different from being a parent in the 1940s. As Millennials move into the parenting life stage, they’re dealing with all kinds of challenges that didn’t exist when Boomers were raising Millennials. From online bullying, to battling tech addiction, to the almost weekly school shootings, today’s parents have struggles that just didn’t exist before. So not only are Millennials being influenced by their distinct generational traits as they enter a new life stage; they’re experiencing a life stage that is unique in and of itself because of its location in history.

“We all go through similar life stages in our youth and as adults; it’s a part of getting older”

The age at which a life stage is experienced has changed over time. Millennials are just now starting to settle down, buy homes, and become parents. This is happening much later than it did for both Xers and Baby Boomers. They’re older parents, and is there any question that this will impact how they raise their kids?

Understanding that the exception proves the rule

Recap: The outlier “yea, but …”: I’m a Gen Xer, and I’m nothing like that.

You may have heard statements like these:

“I know a Millennial who hates technology.”

“I’m a Boomer, but I embody all these Millennial traits.”

“I’m an older Xer and identify more with Boomers.”

The preceding exceptions by no means disprove generational theory. Over our years in this field, we’ve seen some recurring objections that fall under the category of the outlier “yea, but … ,” which you’re likely to encounter yourself, either because you’re the one thinking it or because it becomes a challenge you encounter as you try to use generational theory in your management strategy. In many cases these examples stick out because they are the outliers, but by and large, the overarching structure of each generation holds true.