Читать книгу 8 Brand-New Romance Authors - Avril Tremayne - Страница 26

SEVENTEEN

Josh found himself standing in front of the door to Micah’s apartment. He wasn’t sure how long he had been standing there—at least several minutes—trying to gather up the nerve to knock.

His stomach churned. His hands felt tingly as the adrenaline pumped through his veins. In his line of work, he went head-to-head with serious fires and life-and-death situations, but this five-foot-six-inch fiery redhead had to be the scariest encounter he had ever faced.

Josh took in a deep, stabilizing breath before lifting his hand and knocking on the door. He heard footsteps. His heartbeat became so loud it drowned out the noise. The door opened; he held his breath. When he saw Sabina on the other side of the threshold, he let it out in a whoosh.

“Is Micah around?”

“Is Micah around? You’ve got some nerve showing up h—”

“Sabina, I don’t really feel like getting into it with you right now. I just need to talk to her.”

“Well, I am thinking you pretty much screwed up your chance to talk to her the other night.”

“Come on, just let me in.”

“I would, but she’s not even here. She went out with Hanna.” Then, as if she needed to throw salt in the wound, she said, “She went to meet some new guys. It is about time she met someone decent.”

“Listen, I know you have never been fond of me and we have had our differences. And I will be the first to say that Micah deserves more than what I have to offer, but I do love her. I am a stupid idiot and I may have ruined everything, but I need to at least make it right.”

“That is sweet and everything, but for real, she is not here. I think you’ve missed your shot, buddy.” Sabina closed the door on him, leaving him staring at the fall wreath that hung on the door.

He took a step back and was met with the wall. Leaning against it, he slowly lowered himself to the floor. What was he doing? He should leave. He should pretend he had not let Jamie talk him into this ridiculous idea. Micah would never know. He could text Sabina and ask her to keep quiet—judging by her reaction to him, like a mama bear protecting her baby, he knew she would agree and keep it between them.

He brought his knees up, propped his elbows on them and dropped his head in his hands. He really should just leave, but he couldn’t do it. He needed to see her the way he needed his next breath. Nothing would ever be the same if she was not a part of his life.

* * *

Hanna dropped Micah off after a night of failed attempts at meeting eligible men and maybe one too many cocktails. There were a few possibilities that she’d felt held some potential. But each guy she met would smile at her and flirt with her, but in the end they just came up short. One by one she knocked them down.

Not Josh.

Not Josh.

Nope.

Definitely not even close to being Josh.

The guys seemed to be interested in her, which she took as a good sign, but she hadn’t been able to find any that she was interested in. Maybe in time she would. She was not giving up just yet. She would find someone.

In the meantime, it was going to be a lot of fun getting to know who she really was apart from all that she had been hiding behind.

Micah rounded the corner, climbed the last flight of steps to the third floor and noticed him sitting there in front of her door, as if he was waiting for her. She closed her eyes and opened them again, wondering if maybe she had just conjured up his image.

He looked up at her, his eyes filled with pain and regret. Her heart broke all over again seeing him sitting there. He stood and wiped his hands down the front of his jeans. He wore a navy hoodie, the one with his firefighter emblem on the chest. She always thought he looked invincible yet huggable when wearing that hoodie. But she couldn’t hug him anymore. Not right now, at least. Or maybe any time soon.

“I needed to talk to you. I had to see you.”

“What for?”

“I shouldn’t have...I should have told you the truth.” He ran his hand through his hair. She could see the evidence of stress and pain all over his face. “I...uh...I lied, Micah.”

“What do you mean?

“Give me a moment. This is difficult for me.”

Josh looked down at his feet, shoved his hands in his pockets, then pulled them out again. He seemed nervous. She had never seen him like this before. It was an unsettling sight. At the same time it warmed her heart and showed a side of him that was vulnerable in a way she did not know he could be.

She found herself fidgeting as well, playing with her keys and fumbling with the strap of her purse on her shoulder.

“I lied the other night. I was a being a coward. A coward and a liar. I would completely understand if you never wanted to talk to me again, but I just need to tell you the truth.”

She said nothing, just nodded her head for him to continue. She was all ears.

“I was afraid.” He still looked down at his feet, avoiding eye contact. “I was afraid that if I told you the truth that I would lose you.”

“Lose me? You could never lose me, unless you push me away.” Then again, he had lost her in a way, even if it was temporary.

His hands went back in his pockets.

This whole scene was beginning to make her nervous, too. Especially with how nervous he was acting right now. “What truth are you talking about?”

He lifted his head, the full force of his gray eyes enveloping her under his spell. It was as if he summoned all his courage and took a deep breath. His eyes dropped to her lips, then back up to her eyes.

“Micah...” It came out as a breath, barely a whisper. Her name on his lips said more to her than anything else. The one word was filled with so much emotion and reverence, and so many unknowns.

“Drew called me right before the accident. We were arguing when he lost control.”

She gasped, her hand covering her open mouth. “Oh, Josh.”

He didn’t look up. She wanted so badly to comfort him, but stopped herself. He needed to say this. He needed to get it out. She knew all too well the powerful grip that grief could have on you. He had to release it.

“He was angry with me. Over you. I shouldn’t have... I wish I had... I’m sorry, Mike.”

She could see it in his eyes. He had carried the weight of guilt, blaming himself for the accident. She went to him then, wrapped her arms around his waist, leaned her head on his chest. “Why are you apologizing? It was an accident, Josh. It wasn’t your fault.”

She felt the tension slowly ease from his shoulders. He pulled back from her enough to look into her eyes. “Your name was the last thing he said. I promised him I would take care of you. Maybe I took that job a little too seriously. I don’t know.”

He pulled away completely, walked to the end of the hallway then back. “I’ve tried. You have to believe me. I’ve tried so hard to keep my promise to him. I built a wall around you to keep you safe, even from me, but you scaled it. I just wanted to protect you. And I realized it was never about the promise. It was you. It’s always been you. You grabbed hold of my heart and I can’t let you go. Something keeps pulling me back to you. You have a hold on me that I can’t seem to break—that I don’t want to break.”

“What are you saying?”

“Micah—” his eyes dropped to her lips again “—I need you to kiss me.” Josh stepped closer, but not close enough. “I need to feel your lips against mine. I need to taste you one more time. I can’t go another moment without kissing you again.”

Frozen, unable to move, she stood there as he inched closer to her still. His head dipped low, coming in close to hers without touching, his lips only a breath away from her own. She felt the warm rush of air, the sweet smell of his breath as he hovered over her mouth.

Ever the gentleman when it came to her, she knew he wouldn’t kiss her without her approval. If this kiss was going to happen, she had to be the one to make that final step. She only needed to lean forward; he was less than an inch away. But once that happened, it meant there was no going back to the way things were.

She didn’t ever want to go back to that.

Without a second thought, she closed the gap and pressed her lips home. She poured every ounce of emotion she had into the kiss, holding nothing back. If they were going to do this, really do this, then he needed to know how she truly felt. His lips molded to hers as if they were made to be together.

He slowly began to pull back. She did not want it to end, but knew the kiss was growing in intensity. Maybe the hallway outside her front door was not the best place for this to happen. His hands came around to gently grasp her forearms, pulling her hands away from his chest. His fingers slid down her arms until he had her hands within his at their sides. He placed several small kisses to her lips, as if needing to end the kiss but not being able to find the strength to do it.

“Micah.” He said her name against her lips. That had to be the sexiest thing she had ever experienced. Granted, her sexy experiences were limited.

“Hmm.” It was the only response she could manage at this moment.

“I love you.”

Her eyes snapped open. “You do?”

“Yes.” He still had not completely pulled away. He took their intertwined hands and wrapped his arms around her, forcing her hands back as well. “Sorry I was such an idiot and was too afraid to say it before. I was a coward.”

“Coward is that last word I would ever use to describe you.” She pulled back to see his face in full while he talked, to be able to read his eyes. “What were you so scared of?”

“Many things. I was scared that you would blame me for Drew’s death...”

“Never.”

“The thought of losing you scared me the most, but stupidly, I almost lost you, anyway. I knew when you kissed me the night of the snowstorm that I was in deep trouble. That there was no way I was getting out of this unscathed. That was frightening.”

“You mean the morning after the snowstorm. We kissed in the snow, not the night before.”

“We kissed the night before and the next morning. You seriously can’t remember?” A laugh exploded from deep within him.

Her hand went to her mouth in shock. Her mind raced to piece together the memories of that night. Heat crept up the back of her neck. “I thought I was dreaming!”

“I wondered. When you were completely oblivious to the fact you tried to jump my bones the night before, I wondered if maybe you had experienced a little bit of sleepwalking. Oh, you tested my limits that night!”

She let her forehead fall to his chest, not wanting to look him in the eyes. She couldn’t help the smile that formed on her face, nor could she deny that she had indeed tried to jump his bones that night.

But come on, she’d thought she had been within the safety and anonymity of a dream!

He kissed the top of her head as he reined in his laughter and continued. “You threw me for a loop that night, and I was terrified. I was scared of the emotions I was feeling. I have never felt anything like that before.”

She felt giddy, like a little schoolgirl with her first crush, only better. “You haven’t?”

“No. This is all new to me. Maybe that’s why it took me so long to figure it out.”

“Show me how you feel again.” She grabbed the back of his neck and brought his face down to meet her own.

He didn’t hesitate for a moment, showing her exactly how he felt about her with a kiss that, if she’d been wearing socks, would have knocked them clean off. He kissed her as though he couldn’t get enough of her, and she felt the same thing. She never wanted this to end.

They stood there in the hallway, completely unaware of their surroundings. She placed her hand on the side of his face, needing the confirmation that he was real and not another dream playing tricks on her.

“I love you, Micah, and I don’t ever want to let you go. You’re the first woman I’ve ever said that to, you know. I want you to be the first woman I bring home to meet my family, too.”

She actually felt herself blushing. She hadn’t seen them in years, but she still knew his family well. “I’ve already met your family, you goof.”

“I know, but still. I want them to see you as the woman I love, not just the girl I was friends with. Still sounds strange to my own ears, but I don’t think I could grow tired of telling you. I love you, Micah.”

“I love you, too, Josh.” She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him again.

Who would have guessed this would ever come about? She’d never thought the day would come that she would be in the middle of the hallway in her apartment building, kissing Josh Taylor with abandon. My, my, how life had a way of taking you by surprise. And all it took was letting go of the past and allowing herself to embrace the here and now.

She really had missed out on a lot during that time, but she was not going to let it get her down. No, she was only going to focus on making the most of today. And at the moment, that involved relishing the divine rush caused by the touch of Josh’s hands. His skillful lips felt like heaven and his arms held her tight, as if they never wanted to let her go.

His hands came up to frame her face. And as he kissed her softly this time, she felt his fingertips graze her neck and slip beneath the collar of her jacket. He pushed it off her shoulders as he broke away from her lips and kissed a path down the sensitive part of her neck. He turned her in his arms so that she was facing away from him but still nestled within his grasp. His lips continued their divine assault down the delicate slope of her shoulders. She let her head fall back against him as he pushed the strap of her dress aside.

“I just have one more question.”

“Hmm...”

He placed a kiss over the tiny heart tattoo that graced her left shoulder.

“Is this...?”

“Yes.” She knew what he wanted to know before he even voiced it. “I went to get it done and as I sat there and waited for my turn, I realized what I really wanted was your heart. And this is how you always sign your text messages to me.”

She turned in his arms, needing to see the face she loved so dearly. “When did you see it?”

“I noticed it during the snowstorm.” He kissed her again, then spoke the words against the side of her mouth. “I wanted it to be me.”

* * * * *

Read on for an extract from ONLY THE BRAVE TRY BALLET by Stefanie London