Читать книгу The Power of Nice - Barshefsky Charlene - Страница 10

Early in my career, I had a law partner who loved his work. He was smart. He knew the law. He always had his clients' best interests at heart. And he liked nothing better than the challenge of negotiation. He had no fear of the other side. In fact, he relished confrontation. He paced outside a conference room like a blitzing linebacker. He had that same hungry look in his eyes, pacing and revving himself up for the kill. He couldn't wait to charge in and nail the quarterback (or the other lawyer) to the Astroturf (or the deal he was after). If a few bones were broken along the way, so be it…or so much the better.

He often got what he and his client wanted. But he only got it once. Nobody wanted or could afford to deal with him twice because he left nothing on the table. Winner take all. Why take a share of the profit when you can take all of it? Why have investors when you can have sole control? Why pay commissions? Why give concessions to a union when you can break the union? Why not squeeze all suppliers to rock bottom? Why not drive all offers up to the last dollar? Why negotiate when you can dictate? My partner literally destroyed the other side, and he reveled in it.

One day he strutted out of yet another of his “eat-the-opposition-for-lunch” meetings, fresh blood dripping from his teeth, having dismembered yet another adversary in the name of dealmaking. Instead of congratulating him, I asked him a question that took him by surprise. “What did the other side want?”

He looked at me with a combination of curiosity at my naiveté and astonishment at the irrelevance of the question. “I don't know, but they didn't get it,” he answered.

I persisted, “Maybe they could have gotten what they wanted and you could have gotten what you wanted. What would have been wrong with that?”

Then he sighed like a wise old tobacco-chewing veteran and laid it out for the rookie who just didn't understand how to play the game. “Don't you get it? We won.”

“Yeah,” I protested, “but what if, some time in the future, the tables turn and the other side gains the upper hand and then they're in a position to change the deal?”

That's when my wise old veteran partner put his arm around me, took a long, dramatic pause, and said, “I'll burn that bridge when I come to it.” That wasn't just his snappy comeback. He meant it. It was the embodiment of his negotiation philosophy.

That's the way a lot of people look at negotiation. Two S.O.B.s locked in a room trying to beat the daylights out of each other and may the biggest S.O.B. win. Even way back then, I thought there was a better way to make deals.

Over the years I practiced and perfected what made sense and worked for me: You can be “a nice guy” and still get what you're after. In fact, embracing the systematic approach of this book gives you the power and allows you to get better results, achieve more of your goals, and build longer-term relationships with even greater returns.

The Power of Nice Philosophy

The way to get what you want is to help the other side get what they want.