Читать книгу Clear your Clutter - Manifest your dreams - Birgit Medele - Страница 15

The camping experience can be conveniently recreated at home, without a stove or air mattress in sight. Stopping short of pitching a tent, a house can look as if the campers have just moved in or are about to move out, even though the dwellers have lived at this address for years.

Light bulbs are dangling from the ceiling just until suitable lamp shades have been located. Curtains and blinds are still waiting for their turn to be ticked off the to-do-list. ‘Home-campers’ never make a home for themselves and they are not sure why. It might be the dim feeling that they do not deserve a more charming environment or the subliminal fear that making themselves at home would be equal to getting stuck permanently in this apartment, city or relationship. For the time being, until a perfect solution has been found, they make do. And suddenly another two years have disappeared into thin air.

Sometimes we avoid committing ourselves for fear of missing out on something better. Settling on one residence implies rejecting others. If we keep sitting on the fence, the ‘Happy Ending’ might ring the doorbell tomorrow. One client resented her apartment for not being situated in the beloved French Provence, but in a particularly uneventful town in Britain. Even if we approve of the where, we might resist the how. The current abode is not the longed for mortgaged property but ‘only’ a rented one; ground floor instead of penthouse; no garden; garden too small, too large, too green, not green enough, too overlooked and not south-west facing. ‘Home-campers’ know deep down that they will not stay forever, so why bother. The apartment block might be due a major overhaul at some point, or the neighbours do not live up to expectations. There are worries about catchment areas or commuting or some other concern we can make up as we bumble along through life. Campers refuse to tie themselves down. Maybe they have had to follow a job or a partner but would rather be settled somewhere else, thank you very much. They feel a need to keep their options open.

Here is the bad news: as long as we refuse to make ourselves at home in our own home; as long as we do not drop anchor, at least temporarily; we will stay stuck. We need foundations in order to move on; the future refuses to be built on wobbly makeshift arrangements.

“I moved into my flat ten years ago and was convinced that I wouldn’t be there long as I was ultimately looking to move into a house. I never purchased proper storage such as extra shelves or cupboards, most of my belongings lived in large plastic boxes and I didn’t worry about decorating or changing anything. As I wasn’t getting anywhere in looking for a house I made the decision to make some small changes in the flat. I didn’t tackle the storage issue but after several years of making do, I bought blinds for every room and also painted my bedroom rather than thinking that I wouldn’t be here long so it wasn’t worth it. I got to the stage where I was content to stay in the flat indefinitely. And then a few weeks ago, I went along to a new development nearby and I have fallen in love with the building plans for a house which I think would suit my needs perfectly!”

We start to build a rewarding relationship with our home as soon as we focus on its positive features. Thanks to whichever pad we happen to be staying in at the moment, the rain hits a roof instead of our head when we are asleep. Doors open for us and shut behind us; we enjoy shelter, security and privacy.

If the idea of a home as your castle makes you want to run, skip the garden gnome option. We do not have to settle down into dreaded mid-sized mid-town back garden cosiness; suffocating in daffodils, stuck in stuckness. Beauty refuses to be squeezed into one-size-fits-all. It keeps our soul alive, no matter what shape it takes. As soon as we have created our own unique version of beauty and truly arrived in our home, we are ready to set off towards the next milestone.

¹Quotes in Italics mark feedback emails that I have received from clients over the years.