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This group gathers regularly to support each other in their emerging leadership roles in various estate churches around the city. On this occasion, they used their time together to talk about identity, sexuality, relationships and marriage.

‘It’s a conversation you’ve got to have; you cannot hide what’s going on in the world.’

They began by sharing stories of encounters at church where they have extended welcome to people who expected rejection or had experienced it elsewhere. Jordan helped a young girl rejected by her family for being bisexual: ‘We just prayed about it. And I think she went out a bit calmer and relaxed.’ She goes on: ‘I’m not called to judge her. I’m just called to give her some compassion and some love and friendship.’

Cherry describes a gay young man working as a carer who brought congregation members to church as part of his job. ‘One week he said “I don’t think I’d be welcome in your church.” I said, “Oh, you would. You’d be made really welcome here.”’

Damon says: ‘However kind or nice we all are individually, or not, somehow we’re in an institution which isn’t perceived in that way … and has rules which exclude people at different levels.’

Talk moves to the importance of not judging and of ‘meeting people, not their issues’, citing stories when this approach led to individuals coming to faith and being embedded in church life – a single mum wanting her son baptized but afraid of rejection because each of her three children had a different father; a divorced couple who came to Jesus after being invited to be part of church life rather than just use the church building for getting married.

A few people – single and divorced – comment on the assumption within church that marriage is the norm, and the pressure associated with that. Dan observes that Jesus was single and ‘no one told him to join Dateline!’

The group discusses how it’s important for the church to be pastorally equipped to support all kinds of people and be ready to actively participate in society. Jordan puts it like this: ‘It’s a conversation you’ve got to have; you cannot hide what’s going on in the world. It’s out there.’

They observe what a privilege and opportunity it would be if young people, those struggling and in difficulty, felt they could come into church, be accepted and talk.