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Josh grew up in a Christian household and describes himself as an introvert who was ‘a bit socially anxious’ when he was younger. Annual camps in Wales shaped and grew his faith, when young people from around the UK met up ‘for a week of Christian worship and unwinding’. Josh particularly enjoyed ‘being away from the world’ and talking to people his own age. These days he’s involved in youth ministry at his church in the north of the country.

He describes his faith as a lifelong journey of discovery, trying daily to become more like Christ, ‘which is an uphill struggle! I still make mistakes. I still find myself slipping back down the hill. But I keep picking myself up and trying again, which is, I think, all anyone can do.’

Josh is bisexual, something he describes as ‘just part of my journey as a human being. I think, for a long time, I tried to ignore it because of my Christian upbringing. When you’re attracted to women and men, if the thoughts of men pop up you just push it aside and go, “Oh, it’s just my brain being silly.” You don’t know how to confront it because you can just focus on the part of your sexuality that’s more socially acceptable. But eventually you realize that there’s no point trying to run away from it. It’s just who you are.’

‘I don’t necessarily hide or pretend to be someone else. I just don’t mention certain things’

He feels happier now he’s accepted that part of himself and no longer avoids it, and notes that ‘accepting it hasn’t meant that I’ve run away from Christianity’. He’s tried that but has always been drawn back: ‘Once you let Jesus in, it’s like a magnetic force.’ That Christians recognize they are sinful and need Jesus Christ ‘is true of everyone, regardless of whether you’re bi, gay, trans, cis or straight. It seems strange that so many people in the church don’t seem to see it that way. They’ll be willing to forgive a murderer if they show repentance but they won’t show that same kind of forgiveness to someone who was just born different to them, which is frustrating.’

Josh hopes attitudes will change as people of different orientations and backgrounds become more outspoken. But he observes it’s quite difficult to speak up in church: ‘I don’t necessarily hide or pretend to be someone else. I just don’t mention certain things that might aggravate the wrong people. But then the longer you avoid that, the less interaction they have with people who are different from them. Until you have that difficult conversation with them, they’re never going to change their views.’

He thinks that pornography is a big problem that the church would also benefit from talking about and tackling. It is particularly pernicious because it is so addictive, so accessible and so hidden from view, especially in Christian circles.

Josh has had struggles with anxiety and depression, but prayer helps him keep going every day: ‘My experience of prayer is that it actually works! You don’t expect that to be the case when you first start. But I’ve had enough experiences to make me keep on trying.’

He would encourage Christians to confront things that are uncomfortable, because ‘we’re all on a journey together. We’re all sinners saved by Jesus Christ. People of different sexualities are just human beings. We deserve as much empathy as you’d give to anyone else.’

Christ be with me, Christ within me,

Christ behind me, Christ before me,

Christ beside me, Christ to win me,

Christ to comfort and restore me.

Christ beneath me, Christ above me,

Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,

Christ in hearts of all that love me,

Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

Common Worship Daily Prayer, from St Patrick’s Breastplate