Читать книгу Raising a Smile for Northern Ireland Children's Hospice - Brian Boone's Bailie - Страница 6

One morning on the telephone, there came an urgent call,

Her ladyship was all to-do, like she’d been in a brawl.

“Please help me Brian,” she appealed, “I’ve got an awful pest,

There’s a goat outside who’s awfully cross.” She really was distressed.

When I arrived it all looked fine, no sign of goat round here,

But when Dorinda greeted me, the smelly goat appeared.

“I can’t get out. He’s stalking me. I can’t get to my car,

Please take the smelly goat away, somewhere really far.”

From Ballywalter Park to home again was several country miles,

And as I walked with goat secured, I earned a lot of smiles.

I walked him home to Roddens Farm and put him in a field,

I called Dorinda on the phone, and she was so relieved.

That field had lots of heifers, fat with calf within their tummy,

That goat ate all the bad grass, so the grass he left was yummy.

And so the heifers all kept well because of Billy goat,

(Despite the rancid smell that came from glands around his throat).

The heifers, all so fat with calf, to market they were taken,

Off to little Gortin Glen, deep within the Sperrins.

And Billy goat, he travelled too, for he would not be parted,

He would not leave his lady friends; now isn’t that bighearted?

But at the sale at Gortin Glen, no farmer bid for Billy,

So he was taken up the road, and left where it was hilly.

The Sperrins are so cold at night, with winds of great severity,

But Billy, he was rescued, to raise funds for local charity.

So round the pubs and clubs and bars that goat he went collecting

For a worthy cause, for children who were in need of some protecting.

With Billy’s help, that man he raised an awful lot of money,

So the children (who were all in need), had a future that was sunny.

Did Billy like Dorinda ‘cus he knew she was so wealthy?

Did he realise just how well he kept those heifers nice and healthy?

Despite his tatty looks, and pong, and everyone’s assumption.

That goat, he lived to serve a very honourable function.