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“We know what we are, but know not what we may be.” —William Shakespeare

Dear Girls…

I didn’t want to write this book. In fact, the last thing in the world I ever thought I’d be doing was writing such a book.

During my teenage years, I had very few female friends. I believed myself to have a mind more similar to the boys, and as a result, convinced myself that I would never be able to connect with girls. Ridiculous, I know. It goes without saying that this was a flawed state of mind, but it was born out of a desire to be regarded as “one of the guys,” or as somehow more unique and special than other girls.

While it’s true that some girls may understand or even appreciate the male mind better than others, as a whole, there is no comparison. Boys and girls are worlds apart, both mentally and physically; it was only until after I accepted this reality that I was able to see girls for the wonders that they are, or that they have the potential to be. I started to develop female friendships—not the superficial kind where girls meetup simply to gossip, but the sincere kind. The kind where competition is innocent and healthy, and where girls act for one another as confidants, advisors, supporters and companions.

Considering all the female friendships I have made, and all the girls I have come to love, is what convinced me to sit down and write this book. Not because I want to write it, but because I must write it. My intention isn’t to prove nor is it to judge. My intention is simply to encourage. Perhaps you could describe this book as a love letter to all the girls I know and do not know who are experiencing the struggles of womanhood which are commonly felt but rarely discussed.

Self-Worth: The Ultimate Struggle

Do you love yourself?

If now, or at any point in your past, you would’ve answered “no” to this question, then you and I have something in common.

During my teenage years, and even at certain periods during my early twenties, I also would’ve answered “no.” Like many other girls, I was battling an extreme lack of self-worth that blossomed within me like a bouquet of razors. Few of my relationships—both friendships and romances—were long-lasting, and even worse, few were sincere. But how could my relationships have been long-lasting and sincere? A person cannot give what they do not have. And since I didn’t love myself, I had no love to give to others. Of course, this doesn’t mean I never had the desire. I often did wish to give love, but whenever I tried, it was the equivalent of offering my bouquet of razors. Every attempt ended in a wound.

Lack of self-worth can stem from many things. Among the most common are: negative comparison, rejection, bullying, inauthenticity, purposelessness, betrayal and guilt. Obviously, any number of other issues can activate a lack of self-worth, but since the issues listed above are ones that I, and many other girls I know, have personally experienced, I will only touch upon them.

Before I begin, though, I think it’s important to clarify that experiencing periods in our lives when we struggle to love ourselves is perfectly normal. Facing a lack of self-worth doesn’t make us outcasts; on the contrary, it probably makes us more relatable. At one point or another, almost every girl in the entire world—no matter our age or the country we are from—will have to fight the same battle. Some of us will win and some of us will lose. But those of us who win will do so for two reasons: because we are able to see the battle for what it is, and even more importantly, because we have the right weapons to fight it.