Читать книгу So You Call Yourself A Man - Carl Weber - Страница 12

Brent, Sonny, and I were at Madison Square Garden. By halftime the Knicks were getting their butts whipped by Shaquille O’Neal and the Miami Heat. That was okay, though. The night was still young, and after the game we were going to head over to Hooters to celebrate Sonny’s new job and Brent’s last few nights as a bachelor. I tried to arrange a big shindig at a strip club with all of our friends, but Mr. Born-Again Brent nixed that idea a couple of nights ago. I had to twist his arm just to get him to let Sonny and me take him to Hooters.

Despite his holier-than-thou protest during the week, Brent had been in high spirits from the minute we picked him up and headed to the game. I think he was a little more excited about the whole Hooters thing than he wanted to admit. I guess that’s how it is when you’re going to be married in less than twenty-four hours. You wanna see someone else’s titties one last time. You don’t necessarily wanna touch ’em, but you do wanna see ’em. Then again, even for an old married guy like me, a beer and some titties sounded pretty good. Who knows, I thought, maybe if we were lucky and he drank enough beer before the end of the game, Brent might let us take him to a real strip club.

I turned to Sonny, who as usual had his cell phone glued to his ear, talking to that bubble-butt, gold-digging wench he called a wife. Damn, I couldn’t stand that bitch. It seemed like she was calling every half hour on the hour since he got into town just to see what he was doing. I felt like grabbing his phone and saying, “He’s at a basketball game, bitch! Same place he was half an hour ago when you called. Damn! Give the brother a break so he can watch the game.”

I didn’t blame her as much as I blamed Sonny, though. We were all dedicated to our women, but I’d never seen anyone as whipped as him. He was mesmerized by that oversized ass of hers. He acted like he was a dog on a leash and she was his master. I was convinced that anything she said, he’d do, and that included jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge. I was starting to get heated just thinking about it, so it was a good thing my cell phone began to ring before I opened my mouth.

I reached in my pocket and hit the talk button without looking at the caller ID. A big mistake, I soon found out.

“James.” It was Michelle, and a wave of anxiety came over me when I recognized her voice. I was supposed to drop off $200 by her house earlier that afternoon, but my route had more packages than I anticipated, and I ended up doing more overtime than I expected. In my haste to get home, shower, and pick up the fellas, I completely forgot about it ’til now.

“I got your money,” I assured her.

“Good, but that’s not why I’m calling.”

I hesitated before speaking, and I could feel both Brent’s and Sonny’s attention turn to me. “Then why are you calling?”

“I need you to babysit your son.”

From the tone of her voice, this was not a request, it was a demand. I turned my back and spoke low so Brent and Sonny could barely hear me. “Michelle, I can’t babysit tomorrow. Brent’s getting married.”

“Who said anything about tomorrow? I need a babysitter now.”

“Now?” I snapped, glancing at my friends.

“That’s right. Now,” she snapped back. “I gotta be at work by nine o’clock and the lady that usually watches him is sick. I can’t afford to miss work.”

“What about your mother? Why can’t she watch him?”

“My mother’s down South, James. She’s been down there taking care of my grandmother for the last three months. I don’t know when she’s coming back.” It almost sounded like she was pleading.

“Michelle, I’m sorry, but I can’t do it tonight. I’m already in Manhattan. In order for me to get there by nine, I’d have to leave now.”

There was silence on the line until she spoke in an ominous, threatening tone. “Look, James, I don’t have time to argue with you. Now, I need you to babysit, so you might as well get your ass up and come on back to Queens!”

“I heard you the first time, Michelle, so you don’t have to yell. But like I told you the first time, I can’t do it tonight. I’m busy.”

“Oh, is that right?…Well, is your wife at home? ’Cause if you can’t watch him, I’m damn sure gonna ask her.”

All of a sudden my head began to hurt. Michelle had a way of pushing my buttons like no one else. “Don’t go there, Michelle,” I said angrily.

“No, James! Don’t you go there. I told you before, I’m not playing with you. This ain’t no game to me. I will call your wife. So, what’s your home number again? Oh, yeah.” She repeated the digits. I’d never heard anyone sound so serious, and it scared the hell out of me, especially when she continued. “Now, she don’t go to bed early, does she? ’Cause it’d be a shame to wake the sister up when all you gotta do is come over here and babysit.”

“Aw’ight. Look, let me call you back in five minutes. I’ll see if I can arrange something. But I’m gonna call you, so don’t do nothin’ stupid until then.” I hung up the phone and turned to my friends. “Guys, I got a problem.”