Читать книгу So You Call Yourself A Man - Carl Weber - Страница 13

I’d been on the phone with my wife during most of the game, making arrangements for my return to Seattle and our move to New York. We’d decided to rent a house with an option to buy somewhere in Long Island. It would have to be near the Queens border, so I could see my friends. I was thinking someplace like Valley Stream or Elmont, where they still had some black folks and the schools were good.

I loved New York, especially Queens, but I was not about to subject my kids to the New York City public school system. I knew I wouldn’t be able to afford to send my kids to private school. James sent both his boys to private school and it was costing him damn near as much as his mortgage payment. I’m sure he wouldn’t be able to afford it if Cathy didn’t work. I wasn’t about to ask Jessica to get a job. She’d been a stay-at-home mom so long, just the thought of going to work would probably give her hives. So, my goal was to get my kids in some decent schools and still be able to afford to own my own home in New York someday.

While my wife and I were working out the details, I heard James shouting into his own phone, “I got your money!” He had this strange look on his face, like whoever he was talking to had him terrified.

“Hun, let me call you back,” I told my wife.

I hung up the phone and turned toward James, who was now trying to hide his conversation. What the hell was going on, I wondered, and who the hell did he owe money to? James wasn’t the type to gamble, and if he needed to borrow some money, I’m sure he would have gone to Brent. That’s what I would have done.

I made eye contact with Brent, who seemed just as puzzled by James’s strange behavior as I was.

When James finished his conversation, he turned to us, looking defeated. “Guys, I got a problem.”

“What’s up?” Brent asked, his voice filled with concern.

James lowered his head and whispered, “I can’t hang out tonight. I’ve gotta go take care of something.”

“Excuse me,” I said in disbelief. “You can’t leave. You’re the one who insisted we all go out tonight. Did you forget the man’s getting married tomorrow?”

James turned to Brent. “No, I didn’t forget, and I’m sorry, Brent, but something’s come up. It’s important. I’ve gotta go back to Queens.”

“Back to Queens for what?” I stared at my friend. This wasn’t like him. James didn’t keep secrets from us. If anyone, I was the one who kept the secrets.

It took a while for him to speak, but when he did, I was even more confused. “I gotta go babysit.”

“Babysit? Babysit who? What’s going on, James?” If you think I was annoyed, you should have heard the irritation in Brent’s voice.

“It’s a long story.”

“Well, then, give us the short version,” I demanded. I continued to stare at him in amazement. The brother couldn’t even look at us.

“I really ain’t got the time. I gotta get back to Queens before nine, so I don’t piss her off.” He tried to stand up, but I placed my hand on his shoulder and pushed him down. He glanced at Brent, then at me. I think he finally realized he wasn’t going anywhere without giving us an explanation. A full explanation.

“Okay, okay, but you’ve gotta promise not to tell anyone. Not even your wives. If this gets back to Cathy, my marriage is over.” He glared at us both, tight-lipped, waiting for our reply.

“Don’t worry, James. We’re not gonna say anything. Are we, Sonny?” Brent’s eyes moved to me.

“Nah, bro, you ain’t got to worry. Shit, we got your back. You know that.” This whole thing was starting to get interesting. The only time I’d ever seen James act all secretive like this was when he was fooling around with this girl named Michelle a few years back, but to my knowledge, that was over and done with. Besides, if he was messing with her or anyone else, he would have told me. Or so I thought.

“Y’all remember that girl, Michelle, that I used to see a few years back, don’t you?”

Oh, my God, he is fucking her again.

“Who could forget her? For a skinny girl, she had one of the phattest asses I’ve ever seen.” Brent didn’t seem to know what we were talking about, so I used my hands to emphasize my statement. “Come on, Brent, you know her, the redbone with the big ol’ ba-dunk-a-dunk. Damn, how could you forget her? It ain’t like James had a thousand affairs.”

Brent finally nodded as if a lightbulb had just gone off in his head. “Ohhh, yeah, I remember her. The girl from your UPS route, the one you almost left Cathy for, right?”

“Mm-hmmm, that’s her. But I wasn’t going to leave Cathy for her or anyone else.”

“No, but you’re about to leave your best friend’s bachelor party to babysit her kid, aren’t you?” I asked in disgust. “You just couldn’t resist that big ol’ booty, could you?”

“Why are you always classifying women by their asses?” Damn, ol’ boy had it pretty bad. He was even defending her honor.

“Some people remember faces, James. I remember asses. Now stop trying to change the subject. You messin’ with her again, aren’t you?”

“Nah, I ain’t messing with her, Sonny.” James had a little attitude to his voice now. “But she says I’m her baby’s daddy.”

There was a brief, shocked silence as his words registered.

“What did you say?” Brent asked, the disbelief in his voice and on his face.

“I said, she says I’m her baby’s daddy.”

“Oh, shit,” I mumbled, clearing my throat as I sat back in my chair. There was another moment of painful silence before Brent and I asked, “Are you?” in unison.

James shrugged his shoulders, giving us the lamest answer we could possibly hear. “I really don’t know.”

I jumped out of my seat, pointing my finger in his face. “What you mean you don’t know? How the fuck you don’t know? Did you fuck her without a raincoat?”

All he did was nod, and I went off on him again.

“Oh, my God! What the fuck is wrong with you?” I was about two seconds away from putting my foot in his ass.

“Sit down, Sonny,” Brent ordered. “Let the brother explain.”

“Explain! There ain’t no explanation for this, Brent!”

“I said, let the man explain. Other people are trying to enjoy the game.”

I looked around and everyone in our section was staring at me. So I did as Brent asked, folding my arms and staring angrily at James. I was disappointed in him, really disappointed. He was the one who always had his shit together.

“You’re right, Sonny. I should have never slept with her without a condom, but hindsight is twenty-twenty. I just have to deal with the consequences now.”

“So, did you have some type of blood test or something?” Brent asked.

“Nah, I asked her for a blood test, but she threatened to tell Cathy about the baby if I pushed the issue.”

I unfolded my arms. “That’s ’cause the baby ain’t yours. Can’t you see she’s trying to trap you? That’s why she don’t want you to have a blood test. That’s what these young girls do.” I was so heated, you would have thought she said it was my baby.

“Yeah, but what am I supposed to do about it? She told me if I don’t pay her child support and babysit, she’s gonna go to Cathy.”

“Fuck it. Let her tell Cathy. But I wouldn’t give that bitch shit!” I told him adamantly.

“He can’t do that and you know it, Sonny.” Brent chimed in like he was Johnnie Cochran defending his client.

“Why the fuck not?”

“Because Cathy will divorce me,” James said, “the same way your wife would divorce you if you showed up with a baby by some other woman.” Yeah, right, I thought to myself. My wife’s not going to divorce me if I come home with a child out of wedlock—she’s going to castrate me.

“But that baby ain’t yours, man,” I protested.

Brent shook his head. “Have you listened to a word the man’s said? He’s not sure if he’s the father himself, so why should you be?” I didn’t have an answer for that.

“Look, you guys enjoy the game and Hooters,” James said with finality. “I gotta go babysit.”

“Keep your head up, bro. We’re gonna figure a way outta this for you, man,” I told him with certainty.

“The only way out of this is to keep this crazy bitch happy so she doesn’t go bothering my wife. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

Brent grabbed his arm. “The only way out of this is to put your faith in God and pray on this.”

James looked him in the face and said, “I’ve been praying, Brent. I’m just waiting for God to answer my prayers.”