Читать книгу The Best Of The Year - Medical Romance - Carol Marinelli, Amalie Berlin - Страница 53

‘HI.’

Steele could hear the tension in her voice when Candy called him on Saturday, though she was trying to keep her voice light.

‘Hi, Candy.’

‘Is it okay if we give it a miss tonight?’ she asked. They had planned to go to a stand-up comedy and the tickets had been hard to come by.

‘Of course it is,’ he said. ‘I doubt you’re in the mood for laughing out loud. Do you want me to come over?’

‘I’d really just like a night on my own,’ she said.

Another one.

And then another.

And then another.

On Tuesday, four days before she flew, Steele saw her briefly in the admin corridor. She was coming down from Admin, where she had been trying to sort out her salary for her annual leave when she bumped into him.

‘How are you doing?’ he asked.

‘I’m fine,’ she said. ‘I actually can’t stop and speak. Lydia has messed up my annual leave pay and I’ve been trying to sort it out.’

He walked in the direction of Emergency with her. ‘How’s the mood in Emergency?’

‘Pretty flat,’ Candy said. ‘His funeral is being held in Sunderland, where he’s from, but the hospital is holding a memorial service for him. They’re naming the new resuscitation area after him,’ She gave a tight smile. ‘Thankfully I’ll be in Hawaii when it’s held.’

‘Thankfully?’

She shook her head. She really didn’t want to discuss how mixed up she was feeling right now, especially with Steele. She had considered changing her holiday so she could attend the memorial service but the thought of facing his parents there was too much for Candy. While she knew she had to tell them, she wanted to get her own head around it first. As for them naming Resuscitation after him! Well, the thought of wheeling patients in and out of Gerry’s Wing, day in and day out, had her stomach in knots.

Then she turned and looked at the man she was quite sure she loved with all her heart and she wanted to break down and tell him. She wanted the pregnancy to go away and to be back to where they had once been, but it certainly wasn’t Steele’s problem so she gave him a very tight smile. ‘I do have to go.’

He nodded and watched her dash off.

Leave it, the sensible part of his mind said as he headed back to the geriatric unit and went and hid in his office.

He was certain now that Candy was pregnant. In a matter of days her body had changed and she was completely unable to meet his eyes.

He was roused from his introspection by a tap at the door and he called for whoever it was to come in.

‘Sorry to trouble you.’

‘No trouble at all.’ Steele smiled at Catherine, Macey’s niece and another woman.

‘This is my sister, Linda.’

‘Good afternoon, Linda.’ He expected Linda had some questions, that they perhaps wanted to know how best to broach things with Macey. But, as Steele found out every day in his job, there were always surprises to be had.

‘When Aunt Macey had her heart attack,’ Catherine started, ‘Linda took care of her home, fed the cat, that sort of thing …’

‘I see.’

Linda spoke then. ‘A letter came while she was in hospital. I was doing her mail and paying her bills so she didn’t have to worry about being cut off. I opened this letter and it was from a charity that deals with adopted children. It explained that Macey’s son wanted to make contact. I didn’t know if it would make things worse. She was so sick …’

‘Of course you didn’t know what to do,’ he said.

‘I didn’t even tell Catherine,’ Linda said. ‘I just didn’t know what to do with the news. I spoke to my husband and he suggested that we wait till Aunt Macey was feeling better. Really, though, she’s been slowly going downhill for so long …’

‘Do you have the letter with you?’ Steele asked, and she nodded and handed it to him.

‘He wants to make contact,’ Linda said. ‘I feel bad for not telling her.’

‘Don’t feel bad,’ Steele said. ‘It could have been an awful shock for her, though now I think it will be very welcome news. Why don’t you go in now and speak with her? Facing it will be hard and I’ll be around if she gets upset but, to be honest, I think it will be a relief.’

He did hang around, but all seemed calm with Macey. He sat at the desk next to Elaine. He could see Macey and her nieces talking earnestly and at one point Macey actually laughed.

‘It’s good to see her laughing,’ Steele said, and turned and smiled at Elaine.

‘Sorry?’

‘Macey,’ Steele explained, then he saw Elaine’s swollen eyes. ‘Are you all right, Elaine?’

‘I am.’ She gave a small shake of her head. ‘I’m worried about my assessment.’

Steele frowned. ‘Elaine, you’re doing really well. I know I’m not a nurse, but I do know how well you look after the patients.’

‘Even if I get my words wrong at times,’ Elaine said, because Abigail had had a small word with her about the muffy thing.

‘Even if you get your words wrong.’ He smiled, and was pleased to see that she did too. ‘Is there anything else on your mind?’

‘No.’ She shook her head and stood up and left him sitting alone.

Steele looked over again at Macey and her nieces and knew it was time for him to take his own medicine.

It was time for him to face things.

When he arrived in Emergency he saw the smudges beneath Candy’s eyes and she was still refusing to meet his gaze.

Direct as ever, Steele asked the question. ‘Are you avoiding me?’

She stood there and went to lie to him, to say of course not, or whatever, but his beautiful eyes demanded the truth so she nodded. ‘Yes.’

‘Can I ask why?’

There was no point in telling him about the pregnancy so she made up an excuse. An excuse that was partly true. ‘I’ve been a bit mixed up about Gerry and I had a big argument with my parents. They’ve realised that I’ve been staying out at night …’

‘Really?’ He looked at her for a long moment. He knew she was lying, knew how she’d fought for her independence and knew too that she wouldn’t give in to them.

‘I think we should just leave things,’ Candy said. ‘I don’t want to upset them.’

‘I don’t believe you,’ he said. ‘While I understand you might need a bit of space after what’s happened to Gerry, I don’t believe that’s it.’ When Candy didn’t respond he pressed on. ‘Do you know, one thing that I’ve really enjoyed about our time together is how honest we have always been. It’s fine if you want to end things, but at least tell me the reason why.’

‘Can we go somewhere private?’ she asked.

‘Sure,’ he said, his voice clipped. ‘My office?’

They walked through the hospital in silence and then onto the geriatric unit and it felt to both of them as if they were walking to the gallows—which they were, for this killed them.

Through the ward they went and to his office at the end, and Macey watched their strained faces as they passed by.

Candy stepped into his office and didn’t take a seat. She had a feeling she wouldn’t be here for very long.

‘Do you want to tell me what’s going on?’ he invited.

‘Not really,’ she said.

‘Okay. Are you going to tell me what’s going on?’

‘I’m pregnant,’ Candy said.

For Steele it was the strangest sensation. Ten years ago he had wondered how he might react when the woman he was crazy about told him such news.

Now, ten years on, the woman he was seriously crazy about was telling him such news.

‘With twins,’ she added.

He hadn’t been aware that she’d brought a cricket bat with her when she’d come into the office. Of course Candy hadn’t but it felt like that as she added her little postscript and he was left with one thought, one regretful, sad thought.

They’re not mine.

‘They’re not yours,’ she added, like an echo to his brain, and Steele snapped his response, in his gruff, low voice.

‘I think I’d already established that, thank you.’

Yes, he actually felt as if he’d been knocked on the back of the head because his reactions, his words did not belong to the man he knew he was, yet, concussed by the impact of her news, he continued to speak. ‘What do you want me to say here, Candy?’

‘I don’t know,’ she admitted.

He honestly did not know how to react. Was he supposed to step in and say, That’s fine, darling, I’ll raise his babies? Or, How convenient, Candy, he should perhaps say with a smile, given that I shoot blanks. Or was he supposed to say that it was no big deal?

It was a massive deal.

He should, Steele knew on some level, take her in his arms and tell her that things would work out, that she could get through this.

His arms couldn’t move, though, and his mouth was clamped closed so that no words could come out.

‘I’m going to go,’ she said.

‘Wait.’

‘Why?’ Candy answered. ‘Steele, we agreed to three weeks. We managed two. I was hoping to get through this week without telling you.’

‘But you have.’

‘Because you’re right—we have always been honest. Yes, I’ve been avoiding you. I didn’t want to spoil what we had.’

‘Have you told your parents?’

Candy shook her head.

‘Have you told anyone?’

‘I have now,’ she said, and she looked straight through his eyes and to his heart. ‘I’ve got the hardest part out of the way now.’

And telling Steele was the hardest part. Her parents, Gerry’s parents, all of that she would deal with in time, but this part hurt the most.

‘I’m going to go,’ she said again. ‘If you could drop my case off that would be brilliant. Just leave it at the door.’

She walked out then and he sort of came to and opened his office door and stepped onto the ward. There was Candy, walking out quickly, and he closed his eyes in regret for his lack of response. Then he turned and saw that Macey was watching him.

No, Steele did not smile.

Instead, he walked up to the nurses’ desk. ‘I’m going home,’ he said to Gloria. ‘Page Donald if you need anything.’