Читать книгу Daddy’s Little Princess and Will You Love Me 2-in-1 Collection - Cathy Glass, Cathy Glass - Страница 20

‘Beth won’t be visiting her father this evening,’ Jessie said evenly. ‘Would you tell her, please?’

‘Yes, but why? What’s the matter? Is Derek unwell? Beth will be so disappointed.’

There was a pause before Jessie replied. ‘Reassure Beth that her father is well, but tell her my manager and I have made the decision to cancel her visit. I’ll explain the reasons why when I see her. That’s all you need to say.’

An uncomfortable tightness settled in my stomach. ‘Is there something wrong?’ I asked, all manner of thoughts flashing through my mind.

‘I’m not in a position to say any more at present,’ Jessie said flatly. ‘I need to make some more enquiries. Did Beth telephone her father yesterday?’

‘Yes. She does every evening.’

‘How long does the call last?’

‘At least thirty minutes. Sometimes longer.’

‘And what do they talk about?’

I was being questioned, but why? I felt my heart starting to race. ‘I can’t hear much of their conversation,’ I said. ‘Beth uses the telephone in my bedroom while I bath Paula. From what I’ve heard they talk a lot about what Beth wears – she always changes into a dress when she arrives home from school. They tell each other that they miss each other and sometimes Beth tells her father about school, but not often.’

There was a pause, as though Jessie might be writing down what I was saying. ‘Can you hear Derek’s replies?’ she asked.

‘Not from the bathroom. No. I used to sit on the bed next to Beth, and I could hear his replies then.’

‘So why did you stop sitting with Beth while she telephoned her father?’

‘After you told me you didn’t have any concerns about their relationship, I didn’t think there was any need to. Also, I have to get Paula ready for bed. Derek and Beth talk for some time and if I waited until they’d finished Paula would go to bed late every evening.’

There was another pause before Jessie asked, ‘Does Derek call Beth his little princess?’

‘Yes. It’s a term they both use quite a lot,’ I said, not understanding why she was asking. ‘Beth often says, “I’m Daddy’s little princess.” I’m sorry, have I done something wrong?’

‘No,’ Jessie said flatly, then added, ‘Beth isn’t to telephone her father until further notice.’

‘What? Not at all?’ I asked, shocked.

‘Not for the time being.’

‘She’ll be so upset,’ I said. ‘She looks forward to the telephone calls, and on top of having her visit cancelled she’ll be devastated.’

‘I appreciate that,’ Jessie said. ‘But I’m afraid it can’t be helped. I’ll let you know if and when telephone contact can resume, but it won’t be for a while, so don’t give her false hopes, please.’

I was struggling to make sense of what I was being told, and so too would Beth. She was being stopped from seeing and speaking to her father for no obvious reason. ‘And you can’t tell me any more?’ I asked.

‘Not at present,’ Jessie said. ‘Is there anything more you can tell me about Beth’s telephone calls to her father? Why does she use the telephone in your bedroom?’

‘Because Adrian is usually watching television in the living room at that time. So it saves him being interrupted, and it also gives Beth some privacy. It’s a routine we’ve got into.’

There was another small pause, then Jessie asked, ‘Is there anything else you can tell me about Beth?’

It would have helped if I’d known in what connection she meant. ‘Not really. She’s been coping well. There was an incident of bullying at school, but I saw Miss Willow and she dealt with it. Beth saw you in school yesterday.’

‘Did she?’ Jessie said without surprise. She didn’t elaborate. ‘I’ll arrange an appointment to see you when I know more. Thank you for your time.’ She wound up the conversation and said goodbye.

I slowly replaced the handset and stayed where I was on the sofa. Whatever was going on? What had happened to end contact so abruptly? What could I tell Beth?

Paula looked over from where she was playing on the living-room floor. ‘Was that about Beth?’ she asked.

‘Yes, love, it was.’

‘You look worried, Mummy,’ she said sweetly. Then standing, she came and sat beside me on the sofa. I put my arm around her and held her close. We were both silent for a while. Paula seemed to appreciate the enormity of what I’d just been told and that I needed time to think.

Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by the telephone ringing. I reached over and picked up the handset. As I did it crossed my mind that perhaps it might be Jessie able to give me the reason for her decision, or possibly even saying the decision had been reversed and Beth could telephone and see her father as planned. But it wasn’t Jessie.

‘Is that Cathy?’ a slightly familiar female voice asked.

‘Yes. Speaking.’

‘It’s Marianne, Derek’s friend.’

‘Oh. Hello.’

‘I hope I haven’t interrupted anything, but I need to speak to you urgently.’

‘Yes, go ahead.’

‘Derek phoned me a little while ago and he’s very distraught. He says he’s been stopped from seeing Beth and speaking to her on the phone. He didn’t seem to understand why. He said something about a meeting. I’ve tried to telephone the social worker, but she’s not available. I wondered if you knew what had happened?’ Marianne spoke quickly and I could hear the anxiety in her voice.

‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘Jessie has just telephoned me, but all she said was that Beth wouldn’t be seeing her father this evening and she wasn’t to telephone him until further notice. She didn’t say why.’ I wondered if I should tell her about the questions Jessie had asked me about Beth and her father, or that Jessie had been into Beth’s school, but decided it was confidential and if Jessie wanted her to know she’d tell her.

‘Jessie didn’t give you a reason?’ Marianne asked.

‘No. She just asked me to tell Beth. She’s going to be so upset.’

Marianne gave a heartfelt sigh. ‘I don’t know what’s going on. I’ve told Derek I’ll go to the hospital as soon as I finish work. I can’t do anything now, I’m at work. He said something about a meeting he’d had to attend yesterday with Jessie and the psychologist, but I couldn’t understand what that had to do with anything. He was too upset to explain. Do you know anything about the meeting?’

‘No. Jessie didn’t mention it,’ I replied honestly.

Marianne sighed again. ‘OK. Thank you. Sorry to have troubled you, but I didn’t know who else to call. I’ll try to get hold of Jessie again later.’

‘Marianne, I’m very worried too,’ I said. ‘If you find out anything from Jessie could you tell me, please? It’s going to be difficult enough anyway telling Beth she’s not seeing her father, and without a good reason I really don’t know what to tell her.’

‘Yes, of course I will.’

She said a quick goodbye and I replaced the handset. So not even Derek understood the reason why contact had been stopped.

Paula looked up at me. ‘Was that about Beth too?’ she asked quietly.

‘Yes, love. It was.’

‘Oh dear, poor Beth.’ Paula sympathized, appreciating something was badly wrong but not knowing what.

Marianne didn’t telephone back that day so I assumed that she hadn’t learned any more from Jessie. As the afternoon drew on and the end of school approached, my anxiety grew at the prospect of having to tell Beth she wouldn’t be seeing or phoning her father. I took the car to school, hoping that Beth wouldn’t mention her father until we were at least in the car or – better still – home, where I could talk to her in private. Paula and I waited in the playground and, as usual for a Friday afternoon, as soon as the klaxon sounded the children bounded out, excited by the start of the weekend. Beth was out before Adrian and ran to my side, beaming. The first thing she said was, ‘I’m seeing my daddy tonight!’

Paula looked at me, aware I had something important to say to Beth.

‘Beth, love,’ I said gently, bending towards her. ‘I’m afraid there’s been a change of plan.’

Beth’s face immediately lost its happy, carefree expression and she scowled at me. ‘I’m not seeing my daddy, am I?’

‘No, not tonight, love. I’m sorry. I’ll explain when we get home.’

She glared at me, a mixture of disappointment and anger. Then she stamped her foot hard in rage. ‘I want to see my daddy!’ she shouted.

Paula jumped in fright and some of the other children and mothers standing nearby looked over.

I placed my hand reassuringly on Beth’s shoulder. ‘I’m sorry, love,’ I said again. ‘Jessie phoned. I’ll tell you what she said when we get home.’

‘Tell me now!’ Beth demanded, stamping her foot again.

‘No, love, when we get home,’ I said evenly.

‘You can’t stop me seeing my daddy!’ she shouted. ‘No one can!’ Even I was starting to feel embarrassed, and Paula was looking scared.

‘Losing your temper won’t help,’ I said, keeping my voice calm. ‘I’ll tell you what I know when we get home, not here.’

‘Hate you!’ Beth hissed. ‘Hate you all.’ She folded her arms across her chest, her face set in anger and she turned her back on us.

I hadn’t seen Beth this angry. Paula was obviously frightened by her outburst and slipped her hand into mine. Adrian came out of school and, seeing Beth’s expression, asked her lightly, ‘What’s up with you?’

‘Shut up!’ she shouted.

He frowned.

‘That’s enough, Beth,’ I said. ‘I know you’re upset, but being rude won’t help.’

‘Can we go now, Mum?’ Adrian asked, clearly embarrassed and wanting to be away from the playground.

‘Yes. Come on,’ I said.

Paula kept her hand firmly in mine as we began across the playground. Adrian went a little in front and Beth lagged behind. I could see she was putting distance between us and a couple of times I glanced over my shoulder to make sure she wasn’t getting too far behind. She still had her arms crossed and was staring down as she walked, a fierce expression marring her usually pretty features. We went out of the school gates and along the pavement towards the car, with Beth walking some distance behind us. Even when we arrived at the car she stood a little away and glared at me when I looked at her.

‘Come on. In you get,’ I said to all three children as I opened the rear door.

Adrian slid in first, then Paula and finally Beth. I checked their seatbelts as I usually did, but as I checked Beth’s she roughly pushed my hand away. I thought it best to ignore her small act of aggression and closed the rear door, which automatically child-locked. No one spoke in the car during the ten-minute drive home, but I could see their faces in the rear-view mirror. Adrian and Paula were looking ahead with very worried expressions, while Beth was staring out of her side window, still very angry.

I parked on our driveway, got out and opened the rear door for the children. Adrian clambered out first, followed by Paula and then Beth, who stomped past me and up to the front door.

‘Don’t worry,’ I said quietly to Adrian and Paula. ‘She’ll be all right soon.’ I could see how much Beth’s anger was upsetting them.

I unlocked the front door and Beth shot in first. Kicking off her shoes, she threw her coat on the floor and then stamped upstairs to her bedroom where she slammed the door.

‘What was all that about?’ Adrian now asked, relieved we were home.

‘Beth can’t see her father tonight,’ I said. ‘Understandably she’s upset. Can you look after Paula for a moment, please, while I go up and talk to her?’

‘Can we have the television on?’ Adrian asked.

‘Yes, of course. Until dinner time.’

I helped Paula out of her coat and shoes, took off my own, and then Adrian took Paula through to the living room. I went upstairs to Beth’s room, where I gave a perfunctory knock on her door before going in. She was lying on her side on the bed clutching the framed photograph of her father to her chest.

‘Get out!’ she cried as I entered. ‘I hate you all. I want my daddy!’

‘I know you do, love,’ I said gently. I went over and perched tentatively on the edge of the bed. I didn’t want to be within striking distance if Beth lashed out, which I thought she might do while she was so angry.

‘Why won’t you let me see my daddy?’ she demanded, glaring at me.

‘It’s not my decision,’ I said. ‘Jessie phoned me this morning and said she and her manager had made the decision that you weren’t to go to the hospital or telephone your father again until she tells us.’ There was no easy way to say it.

‘What? I can’t telephone him?’ Beth asked, sitting up so quickly that I started. Her eyes blazed.

‘I’m afraid not,’ I said. ‘I don’t know – Jessie didn’t say – but there must be a good reason.’

‘I can’t telephone him at all?’ Beth asked, her voice rising slightly in disbelief.

‘Not for now. Not until Jessie tells us to.’

‘But that’s not fair!’ Beth cried, clutching the photograph. Then her anger turned inwards and on herself. ‘I bet it’s my fault I can’t see him,’ she said. ‘I’ve done something. It’s all my fault!’ Tears sprang to her eyes.

‘No, it’s not,’ I said. ‘It’s not your fault at all.’

‘It must be!’ she cried. ‘I love my daddy and he loves me. I must have done something really bad for them to stop me seeing him.’ Like many children in care who can’t see their parents, Beth felt she was to blame.

I moved closer and took her hand. She didn’t resist. ‘Beth, love,’ I said gently. ‘Sometimes social workers have to make difficult decisions, and they can’t always tell us straight away the reason for their decision. We’re going to have to be patient and brave, until Jessie can tell us what the problem is. Hopefully it won’t be long.’

Beth looked at me, all anger gone, now replaced by sorrow. ‘Perhaps my daddy doesn’t love me any more,’ she said pitifully. ‘Perhaps he loves someone else, not me.’

With the photograph still held close to her chest, she laid her head against my shoulder and began sobbing quietly. I put my arms around her and drew her to me. ‘Of course your daddy loves you,’ I said. ‘And deep down you know that. It wasn’t his decision not to see you. He’s very upset too.’

‘You don’t know that,’ Beth sobbed. ‘You don’t know he was upset. Perhaps he told Jessie he didn’t want to see me any more.’ I could appreciate why Beth felt so rejected, and with no reason for the cessation of contact it was difficult for me to reassure her. I decided I had no choice but to tell her about Marianne’s telephone call, to prove to her that it wasn’t her father’s decision and that he too was upset at not seeing her. ‘Marianne telephoned me this morning,’ I began.

Beth raised her head from my shoulder and looked at me, her eyes wet from crying. ‘Why?’

‘She asked me if I knew why you weren’t seeing your daddy. He telephoned her earlier because he was upset at not being able to see you. He wanted to see you very much.’

‘Did he really?’ Beth asked.

‘Yes, love. I wouldn’t make it up. He phoned Marianne, and then she phoned me.’

‘But if my daddy wants to see me and I want to see him, why can’t we see each other?’ Beth asked.

‘I honestly don’t know. Marianne and your father don’t know either. Jessie said she’d tell us when she knows more. But it may not be for some time. I know it’s upsetting for you, but there’s nothing we can do for now and I think we should try to make the most of the weekend.’ I decided not to tell Beth that Jessie had said she was making further enquiries, as it begged the question about the nature of the enquires and Jessie hadn’t told me.

‘So I can’t phone my daddy at all over the weekend?’ Beth asked, her face clouding again.

‘No, love, I’m afraid not.’

Her face crumpled and I put my arms around her and held her close. I felt so very sorry for her and impotent to help. As I cuddled and soothed her, I heard a key go into the lock in the front door downstairs and then the door open. For a moment I wondered who was letting themselves in, and then I realized.

‘John’s home,’ I said to Beth. ‘Let’s dry your eyes and go downstairs.’ I thought John’s entrance was well timed. It should help distract Beth from her disappointment and also cheer up Adrian and Paula, who were naturally worried about Beth.

Adrian and Paula had heard their father come in and had rushed down the hall to greet him with shouts of ‘Daddy! Daddy’s home!’

‘Hi, love,’ I called to John from Beth’s room. ‘I’m with Beth. We’ll be down in a minute.’ I’m not sure whether John heard me, for he was making such a fuss of the children. I could hear him telling them how much he’d missed them.

‘OK?’ I asked Beth. ‘Do you feel you can come down now?’ She gave a small nod. ‘Good girl.’

She slid the photograph of her father under the pillow. I held her hand and we went downstairs. John, Adrian and Paula were still in the hall hugging each other. ‘Hi. How are you two?’ John said, looking up as Beth and I arrived at the bottom of the stairs.

‘We’re good,’ I said. Beth managed a weak smile.

I went over and kissed John’s cheek; I couldn’t give him a bigger kiss or a hug as he was fully occupied hugging Adrian and Paula. I thought it would be nice if the three of them had some time alone, as they hadn’t seen each other for two weeks. I also thought that watching their joyful reunion might upset Beth even more.

‘Would you like to come and help me make John a cup of tea,’ I suggested to her. ‘I could do with your help, and I’m sure he’d like a cup of tea.’

‘Yes, please. I’m gasping,’ John said.

Beth was happy to come with me, and John shoulder-lifted Adrian and Paula into the living room amid squeals of laughter and delight. Here was another example of the careful balancing act that was required between the needs of one’s own children and the looked-after child, so that everyone had their fair share of attention and no one felt compromised or left out. Later, we’d all be together, but for now it was right that Adrian and Paula enjoyed their father’s attention.

Beth was meticulous in setting a cup and saucer on the tray for John and then arranging biscuits on a plate, and while this little activity distracted her from her upset, my thoughts were still with Derek. Marianne had said she was going to the hospital after work and I guessed she would be there now. I wondered how Derek was and if Marianne had found out the reason why he wasn’t allowed to see or speak to Beth. Surely Jessie had told Derek the reason, even if he’d been too upset to tell Marianne when he’d telephoned her? It crossed my mind, but only for a second, that the reason might have something to do with the concerns Marianne, Miss Willow and I had previously raised. But I dismissed the thought. Jessie had said those concerns had been proved unfounded, so it couldn’t be that.