Читать книгу Where Rainbows End - Cecelia Ahern, Cecelia Ahern - Страница 8
ОглавлениеDear Mr. Byrne,
Alex will be unable to attend school tomorrow, the 8th of April, as he has a dental appointment.
Sandra Stewart
Dear Ms. Quinn,
Rosie will be unable to attend school tomorrow, the 8th of April, as she has a doctor’s appointment.
Alice Dunne
Rosie,
I’ll meet you round the corner at 8.30 a.m. Remember to bring a change of clothes. We’re not wandering around town in our uniforms. This is going to be the best birthday you ever had, Rosie Dunne, trust me! I can’t believe we’re actually getting away with this!
Alex
PS. Sweet 16 my arse!
St James’s Hospital
10 April
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Dunne,
Enclosed is the medical bill for Rosie Dunne’s stomach pumping on 8 April.
Yours sincerely,
Dr. Montgomery
Rosie,
Your mum is guarding the door like a vicious dog so I don’t think I’ll get to see you for the next ten years or so. The kind big sis you love so much (not!) has agreed to pass this on to you. You owe her big time …
Sorry about the other day. Maybe you were right. Maybe the tequila wasn’t such a good idea. The poor barman will probably be closed down for serving us. Told you that fake ID my mate got would work, even though yours did say you were born on the 31st of February!
Just wondering if you remember anything that happened the other day … write to me. You can trust Stephanie to pass it on. She’s mad at your mum for not letting her drop out of college. Phil and Margaret have just announced that they’re having another baby so it looks like I’ll be an uncle for the second time round. At least that’s taking the attention off me, which makes for a change. Phil just keeps laughing at what you and me did because we remind him of himself ten years ago.
Get well soon, you alco! Do you no I didn’t think it was possible for a human being to go so green in the face. I think you have finally found your talent, Rosie, ha ha ha ha.
Alex/Mr. Cocky,
I FEEL AWFUL. My head is pounding, I have never had such a headache, I have never felt so ill before in my life. Mum and Dad are going ape shit. Honestly, you never get any sympathy in this house. I’m gonna be grounded for about thirty years and I’m being ‘prevented’ from seeing you because you’re ‘such a bad influence’. Yeah right, whatever.
Anyway, it doesn’t really matter what they do because I’m gonna see you at school tomorrow, unless they ‘prevent’ me from going there too, which is absolutely fine by me. Can’t believe we have double maths on a Monday morning. I would rather get my stomach pumped again. Five times over. See you on Monday then.
Oh by the way, in answer to your question, apart from my face smashing against that filthy pub floor, flashing lights, loud sirens, speeding cars and puking, I can’t remember anything else. But I bet that just about covers it. Anything else I should know about?
Rosie
To Rosie
Glad to hear everything is as normal as usual. Mum and Dad are driving me crazy too. I can’t believe I’m actually looking forward to going to school. At least no one will be able to nag us there.
From Alex
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Dunne,
Following the recent actions of your daughter Rosie, we request a meeting with you at the school immediately. We need to discuss her behaviour and come to an agreement on a reasonable punishment. I have no doubt you understand the necessity of this. Alex Stewart’s parents will also be in attendance.
The scheduled time is Monday morning at 9 a.m.
Yours sincerely,
Mr. Bogarty
Principal
From Rosie
To Alex
Subject Suspended!
Holy shit! I didn’t think that old bogey would go ahead and suspend us! I’d swear we were axe murderers from the way that he was carrying on! Oh, this is the best punishment ever. I get to stay in bed for a whole week nursing a hangover instead of going to school!
From Alex
To Rosie
Subject I’m in hell
Glad life is going so wonderfully for you these days. I’m emailing you from the worst place in the world. An office. I have to work here with Dad for the entire week, filing shit and licking stamps. I swear to God I am NEVER EVER going to work in an office in my life.
The bastards aren’t even paying me.
A very pissed off Alex
From Rosie
To Alex
Subject A very pissed off Alex
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha em … I’ve forgotten what I was going to write … oh yeah … ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Lots of love from an extremely comfy, snuggy, warm and happy Rosie typing from her bedroom.
From Alex
To Rosie
Subject Lazy
I don’t care. There is an absolute babe working in this office. I am going to marry her. Now who’s laughing?
From Rosie
To Alex
Subject Don Juan
Who is she?
From a non-lesbian so am therefore NOT jealous.
From Alex
To Rosie
Subject To non-lesbian
I will for the time being humour you by calling you that although I have yet to see any evidence to suggest otherwise.
Her name is Bethany Williams and she is seventeen (older woman!), blonde, has a massive pair of boobs and the longest legs I have ever seen.
From the sex god
From Rosie
To Alex
Subject Mr. Sex God (puke puke gag vomit)
She sounds like a giraffe. I’m sure she is a really nice person (not!). Have you even said hello to her or has your future wife yet to acknowledge your existence? (Apart from handing you memos to photocopy, of course.)
You have an instant message from: ALEX.
Alex: Hey there, Rosie, got some news for you.
Rosie: Leave me alone, please. I’m trying to concentrate on what Mr. Simpson is saying.
Alex: Hmmm wonder why … could it be those beautiful big blue eyes all you girls are always going on about?
Rosie: Nope, I have a great and growing interest in Excel. It’s so exciting – I could just sit in and do it all weekend.
Alex: Oh, you’re turning into such a bore.
Rosie: I WAS JOKING, YOU IDIOT! I hate this crap. I think my brain is turning to mush from listening to him. But go away anyway.
Alex: Do you not wanna hear my news?
Rosie: Nope.
Alex: Well, I’m telling you anyway.
Rosie: OK, what’s the big exciting news?
Alex: Well, you can eat your words, my friend, because virgin boy is no longer.
Alex: Hello?
Alex: You still there?
Alex: Rosie, c’mon, stop messing!
Rosie: Sorry, I seem to have fallen off my chair and knocked myself out. I had an awful dream you said you are no longer virgin boy.
Alex: No dream.
Rosie: I suppose that means you won’t be wearing your underwear over those tights any more.
Alex: I have no need for underwear at all now.
Rosie: Uuuugh! So who’s the unlucky girl? Please don’t say Bethany please don’t say Bethany …
Alex: Tough shit. It’s Bethany.
Alex: Hello?
Alex: Rosie?
Rosie: What?
Alex: Well?
Rosie: Well what?
Alex: Well say something.
Rosie: I really don’t know what you want me to say, Alex. I think you need to get yourself some male friends because I’m not gonna slap you on the back and ask for gory details.
Alex: Just tell me what you think.
Rosie: To be honest, from what I hear about her, I think she’s a slut.
Alex: Oh, come on, you don’t even no the girl, you’ve never even met her. You call anyone who sleeps with anyone a slut.
Rosie: I’ve seen her around and, eh, SLIGHT exaggeration there, Alex. I call people who sleep with different people every day of the week sluts.
Alex: You no that’s not true.
Rosie: You keep spelling KNOW wrong. It’s KNOW not NO.
Alex: Shut up with the ‘know’ thing. You’ve been going on about that since we were about five!
Rosie: Yeah, exactly, so you think you would listen by now.
Alex: Oh forget I said anything.
Rosie: Oh, Alex, I’m just worried about you. I know you really like her, and all I’m saying is that she’s not a one-man kind of girl.
Alex: Well, she is now.
Rosie: Are you two going out with each other?!
Alex: Yes.
Rosie: YES?????
Alex: You sound surprised.
Rosie: I just didn’t think Bethany went out with people, I thought she just slept with them.
Rosie: Alex?
Rosie: OK, OK, I’m sorry.
Alex: Rosie, you need to stop doing that.
Rosie: I no I do.
Alex: Ha ha.
Mr. Simpson: You two, get down to the principal’s office now.
Rosie: WHAT??? OH, SIR, PLEASE, I WAS LISTENING TO YOU!
Mr. Simpson: Rosie, I haven’t spoken for the last fifteen minutes. You are supposed to be working on an assignment now.
Rosie: Oh. Well, it’s not my fault. Alex is an awful influence on me. He just never lets me concentrate on my school work.
Alex: I just had something really important to tell Rosie and it just couldn’t wait.
Mr. Simpson: So I see, Alex. Congratulations.
Alex: Eh … how do you know what it was?
Mr. Simpson: I think you two would find it interesting sometimes if you listen to me every now and again. You can really learn some useful tips, like how to keep an instant message private so everyone else can’t see.
Alex: Are you telling me other people in the class can read this?
Mr. Simpson: Yes I am.
Alex: Oh my God.
Rosie: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Mr. Simpson: Rosie!
Rosie: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Mr. Simpson: ROSIE!!!
Rosie: Yes, sir.
Mr. Simpson: Get out of the class now.
Alex: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Mr. Simpson: You too, Alex.
