Читать книгу Synergy Team Power - Chris Alexander - Страница 29

Rupert and the Power of Authentic Choices

Today is Rupert’s first day at work. He had slept heavily, a fitful night, tossing and turning–a night of racing thoughts and anxious images.

For as long as he can remember, his father told him: “Son, you should get a secure job with a large company that will provide you with retirement benefits and health insurance.” He could still hear those words playing in his head the day he went for the interview at the bank; and when they off ered him the job, he felt a sense of satisfaction knowing that his father would be proud of him. The next day, he felt conflicted and a sadness came over him at the thought of being cooped up in a cubicle all day long, dealing with numbers.

In his heart, Rupert was a nonconformist and knew that this job would require a large degree of compromise on his part. He really wanted to be a graphic artist. He loved that kind of thing–working on advertising design and animation.

When the alarm went off, he had to force himself to get out of bed. Walking across the room to the window, he drew back the drapes. It was a cloudy day and it was as if it was connected to his grey body-on-droop-mood. He could almost feel the heaviness of the clouds entering his body and weighing him down.

“I hate cloudy weather. I’m going to have a lousy day!” he thought. “I wonder if I’ll be acceptable. I’ll just be quiet, the same as I was at school. That always works. If you’re quiet, nobody sees you.”

As he fastened his belt, thoughts of school run through his mind: Flashes of his first day, elementary school, high school. “That first day was pure hell. I can still feel the pain. Everybody in a row, all standing, looking just like each other, most of all those phony teachers,” he recalled. He put those thoughts out of his mind and made his way to the bank. He didn’t want to be late. He arrived with a few minutes to spare and went directly to his new boss’ office. She was standing in her doorway waiting for him.

“Rupert, this will be your desk; and, by the way, here at our bank, we prefer that it be kept tidy, just as you should be. Did you read the dress code regulations?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Don’t call me sir! My name is Ms. Ashworth.”

“Yes, Ms. Ashworth.”

“That’s better. Now relax, Rupert. Later, you will be taken to the training school, where you will learn about the basics of our banking policies and procedures. Let me make myself clear, Rupert. If you work hard, do what you’re told, be on time for work everyday, the bank is an excellent place for you to build a steady, long-term career.”

“Yes, sir, I mean, Ms. Ashworth.”

Rupert felt extremely uncomfortable. The environment seemed overly formal. There was very little, if any, personal interaction. He tried to make eye contact with a few people that passed his cubicle. It seemed as if everyone was hurrying around with their shoulders hunched, heads down, with expressionless eyes that looked right through you. He just sat there and waited and wondered if this was the right decision for him. Eventually, someone said, “Rupert, follow me . . .”

The day dragged on and although the information he received in training class was interesting, the monotony of the trainer’s voice exhausted him. He couldn’t wait to get home.

He had no sooner arrived home, when his dad asked him: “Well, how was your day, Son?”

“Dad, I don’t know if this is what I want . . .”

“Now, Rupert, when I was your age, I would have been thankful for an opportunity like this. You kids of today don’t appreciate anything. It was different for me when I was your age. I would have to walk to work every day, ten miles there, ten miles back, uphill both ways.”

“Yes, Dad, but I didn’t do anything today; I just sat there listening to a boring guy read from a Power Point. It’s as if we are just robots and they were downloading data. We were not really acknowledged as people.”

“They know you are there. Everybody has their own job to do; the world doesn’t revolve around you.”

Rupert was an extremely aware young man and he knew that he didn’t fit in. He was aware that he was surrendering what he would really like to do for this so-called secure job, mostly to please his dad. That night Rupert slept heavily, exhausted from the emotional drain of his first day.

The next morning, he had no sooner arrived at work, when he heard Ms. Ashworth bellow out his name.

“Ruuu-pert . . .”

“Yes, Ms. Ashworth?”

“Were you on time for work today?”

“Yes, Ms. Ashworth.”

“You’ll be in training again today. They’re expecting you.”

“Yes, Ms. Ashworth.”

Ms. Ashworth had a reputation for being a tough boss who got the job done. “I motivate by fear,” was her motto. Most people, including the bank president, avoided Ms. Ashworth. When they needed to communicate with her, it would normally be by email.

Rupert promised himself that he would never be the kind of manager, she was. “When I’m a manager one day,” he thought, “I will create an environment where people will love their jobs and want to come to work and not feel as fearful as I do.’‘

Rupert sat next to an odd-looking young man with small round, thick glasses and a plastic pen pouch sticking out of his shirt pocket. “Wow, what a nerd!” Rupert thought. But he greeted him nonetheless, and they immediately struck up a friendship. After training school that day, Rupert and his new friend, Jason, walked together to the local bus station, speculating about their future careers at the bank.

Rupert’s first year went by so fast it was as if he was transported into the future in a time machine. It was full of all kinds of experiences and he began to enjoy certain parts of his job. He decided to suck up the parts he didn’t enjoy and do the best job he could. At the annual conference, Rupert received his first good service award. Ms. Ashworth had now become the bank manager and Rupert her assistant. She seemed to have a glimmer of a know-it-all smile as he walked up to her to collect his award. “I told you you’d make it. Just do as you’re told and one day you could be a manager, too.” He cringed at the thought of doing this for the rest of his life.

Several days after the conference, Jason said, “Rupert, I’m reading this book about choosing your attitude and finding your purpose in life. Once you find your purpose–the thing that will get you out of bed in the morning–you automatically become motivated and fulfilled. You must read it!”

“Oh, give me a break, Jason! Motivation? What good will that do me at the bank?”

As time passed, Rupert did well, but Jason was promoted ahead of him–twice–and Rupert felt angry that he had been passed up. To top it all, he was now reporting to his friend–who he knew well–and thought he was smarter than him.

Once again he felt the same old sense of dissatisfaction. To get away from it all, Rupert thought a good vacation would help. “I’ll go up to my uncle’s house up north. I’ll spend some time away from daily business and come back refreshed.”

His uncle was different than his dad. His dad would always say that his brother Bill was unrealistic and believed in all that weird mambo jumbo motivational stuff that just cluttered up your head. Rupert always liked Uncle Bill; even though there was a serious side to his demeanor, he was approachable and relaxed.

The first day passed, pleasantries were exchanged, and laughter and stories of days gone by were shared willingly, embarrassingly, and with love.

Rupert woke up every morning well rested, feeling a sense of calmness about himself. He knew he would need to head home soon and would miss Uncle Bill and Aunt Mary. She was a quiet reserved person but when she spoke, it was always thoughtful, sensitive, and to the point.

Bill had a ritual: He would start the day off by excitedly describing it. How wonderful it was outside, how good the trees looked, and how grateful he was for just being alive. He would say crazy things like, “I choose to live this day to the fullest, because today is the only guarantied day I have left and I need to make the most of it. I am going to have fun and make it a good one.” Mary would smile, nod, and agree. At first Rupert thought this ritual was silly but it grew on him, and he began to like it and look forward to it. He liked the feeling of peace he experienced when practicing Bill’s philosophy.

Bill and Mary lived in an average size dwelling sitting on a small holding of about 7 or 8 acres. Nearby, down a windy little path from the house, there was a creek from which the spring rains swelled out every year into, a small river. Rupert loved the trees that hung over the riverbank and enjoyed the crispness of the air–but more than that, he was discovering so much about life and himself. He learned that Bill was extremely smart and full of stories and observations on life. He could listen to him for hours. He realized Dad was totally wrong about his brother. Bill was pretty cool, insightful, and had a very successful life.

Bill would go down to the creek each day to fish. He would say that people said they were going fishing–but it wasn’t fishing they really wanted, it was contemplation and peace. Insights like that got Rupert thinking more about what he wanted and what his purpose was. He found it easy to talk with Bill about personal things, because Bill seemed non-judgmental: he just listened, nodded, and then expanded the thought. Rupert loved that. He loved having Bill open his mind with sagely mentoring and coaching.

On one such occasion, they were sitting by the creek and Rupert said: “Bill, I don’t know what my purpose is, what I’m meant to do with life.”

Bill stared at Rupert for what seemed like an eternity–but Rupert didn’t feel uncomfortable or uneasy. He noticed a knowing acceptance in Bill’s gaze, as though he had somehow arrived at an important and meaningful turning point and Bill knew that, and knowingly acknowledged it without a word spoken.

Then, with a definiteness that Rupert had never heard in Bill’s voice, he said, “Rupert, let me tell you a story that helped me change my life. This story was told to me by a great teacher, and I know he would be happy for me to pay it forward to someone ready to hear it, and I will tell it to you as I heard it.

“There was once a great builder of homes. He was renowned for his ability to build the finest quality home. He built a home for the mayor, the fire chief, and the sheriff. All the contractors in town wanted him to build houses for them.

“He would find a great sense of purpose in building a quality home. He valued great workmanship and would step back and look at his good work and feel satisfied with a job well done.

“One day he decided he did not want to work in construction any longer because although he did a great job and felt a great sense of purpose, he seldom received praise and his family didn’t inquire much after his work. He decided that perhaps he should be doing a more thankful job that might get him more recognition and appreciation.

“So, he told his employer of his plans to quit. He would try something else.

“The contractor was very sorry to see him go and asked him if you could build one more house as a personal favor. He reluctantly agreed—he was the kind of man that his heart needed to be in the job and his heart was not in this job. His workmanship was only fair and even shoddy most of the time. It was sad to see a great builder lose his enthusiasm and damage his reputation this way.

“At last the contract was done and the contractor came to inspect the house. As he left, he handed the builder the front door key. ‘This is your house,’ he said. ‘It is my gift to you!’

“The builder was shocked. He knew where he had used inferior materials. If only he knew he was building his own house, he would have put his heart into it. He would have made sure that the quality and attention to detail would have been at their highest level.

“And so, it is with us, Rupert. We build our lives a day at a time, often not putting our hearts into our work, not living out the things that we truly value, and not feeling a sense of purpose because our deeper reasons for working each day are not being satisfied. Everyday that goes by without living it to the fullest is a lost day. What are your reasons for going to work? It’s not the money, Rupert, you’ve found that out. It’s much deeper and more meaningful than that. For the builder, it was the sense of accomplishment and quality workmanship that gave him a sense of purpose. He also wanted to be recognized by those he loved but never made it known to them. Once he stopped focusing on that, he lost his passion and his heart was not in it.

“Find out what you value most in your life, Rupert, and then surround yourself with work that allows you to live it out each day–that’s where your sense of purpose lies. When you connect to the things that drive you emotionally, it fires up your desire to excel. You will never be motivated by fear again.”

Bill had just opened an entire new world to Rupert. What did he value? Was it money or was it what money could buy? “That’s it! That’s why I go to work, to get the money to buy security. I value the idea of being secure,” he thought. “I’m afraid of failing. I’m afraid of being alone. That’s why I thought I needed all that money. So, I guess what I need to do is work in an environment that offers a fair amount of security.”