Читать книгу Silenced and Sidelined - D Lynn D Arnold - Страница 12

Some people enjoy playing the victim and like the idea of being rescued. We all know these people, and collectively, our tolerance for their behavior diminishes over time. A damsel cannot really be saved if she enjoys her distress too much.

In case you are wondering, there are no damsels in this book or my research. The women I studied were not choosing a victim mindset and believing everyone else was at fault. Participants at times did describe feelings of victimization as a result of silencing, but the last thing they wanted to do was stay in this mindset and operate from that space. I have never met women more eager to be successful and authentic at the same time.

As a society, I believe we have lost sight of what it means to be a victim. A victim is someone whose rights are violated; someone who is injured or harmed. Sometimes it is a crime, or often it is an encounter that leaves a psychological injury. Victims do not choose it, see it coming, or welcome it. When we are victims of something—this is not a sign of weakness.

There will always be that one—or perhaps a few—who are empathy and rescue-seekers. I am sure some women who are silenced may relish and roll around in the victim mindset. However, it is habitually wrong to believe or suggest that women are bringing on this silencing condition and are using it to their advantage.