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Chapter Two Single Man, Interrupted

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I came home from work on an April evening in 2010 and took a shower. As usual. Somehow, showering after work made me feel as though I was cleansing the “dullness” of the day off me and that I could now start afresh in the evening. There was an exciting world on television just waiting for me to plug in.

After the shower, I put on shorts and one of my Houston Texans t-shirts and pattered barefoot into the kitchen to prepare dinner. I looked in my freezer and reviewed the stack of TV dinners. Which one should I have tonight? I thought. Did it really matter? They all tasted pretty good. I chose a Stouffer’s turkey dinner, opened it and placed it in the microwave. After 5 minutes, I took it out and went into the living room. I put my dinner on a TV tray and clicked on the TV to watch ESPN and lose myself in the world sports.

The phone rang midway through the turkey and mashed potatoes. It was Bob, a single friend of mine in his early 50s. We often discussed the problems of finding a desirable woman to date. He said,

“David, I’ve been looking online and exploring dating sites, and I believe I have just the

thing for you and me.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, taking a sip of my ice water to wash down the food.

“I know how we can meet beautiful women and maybe even find someone to date.”

“What are you talking about?” I said. “I’m already on Match.com.”

“Yea, I know, but I think this could be perfect for us.”

“I haven’t had much success on Match.com,” I replied. “I’ve met a lot of nice women,

but I haven’t had any chemistry with any of them.”

“I know. I know,” Bob said. “How do beautiful Latin American women sound to you?”

“I’m listening,” I said. Fact is, I have always loved Latinos. I think they’re beautiful people in general and when Bob said that, it piqued my interest. However, at the time, I wasn’t looking for a life partner. Not really. I was contented and happy. I honestly didn’t need anyone to fulfill my life. However, I knew that it would be nice – a big bonus in life – if I met someone I could share my life with. A partner. A lover. A best friend. But, those things only happen in fairytales like that of Britain’s Prince William and Catherine Middleton. Ordinary folks don’t get that kind of life story. Do they?

“I’m talking about international romance tours,” Bob said. “Do you know anything about them?”

“As a matter of fact, yes, but only a little bit,” I said. “I’ve done a lot of research on the Internet.”

“This one is Allure Romance, they are the largest international introduction tour company, with an excellent reputation. Research it and then call me back. I think we should try this.”

“Sure,” I said, wondering if this was just another dead end for romance. I wasn’t against looking for women internationally, but I knew how hard it was to meet someone you really connected with.

American’s culture on meeting women is difficult. It’s common for most single folks to go to nightclubs, meet someone through a friend, or church, or online. (I’m not a partier, so that eliminates the nightclubs and most of my friends are married). These have so far been the best options. But, it’s not easy ever. Did you know that it is easier for a man to take a swing at a guy twice his size, ask his boss for a raise, and run a marathon on a hot day than it is for him to approach a good looking woman? According to three single professional men in the book, What Men Want, men are trained and biologically driven to be aggressive and competitive. But in a man’s mind, a woman is more daunting than a six-foot-six football tackle or a roomful of demanding business associates. I agree. A man can risk bodily injury, but he can’t risk his manhood where it’s most vulnerable. And that’s with women. (And I should preface this by saying good looking women). Women believe that men hold all the power in a relationship, but the truth is that women hold enormous power. Especially if they’re good looking. Forget about it. A woman can inspire a man, or she can crush him. It’s that simple. So, it’s no wonder that men are so self-protective and a little gun-shy when it comes to making a permanent commitment, especially if they’ve been burned once or twice. Of course, I have tried. Getting married twice was my effort to try – really try – to make a go out of a relationship. O.K. I admit it. I’m a softie. A kind of renaissance man who wants to share his life with a woman who loves him, who would do anything for the woman he loved. I am man who believes in love ever after. It’s just that love “ever after” has never seemed to believe in me.

After my conversation with Bob, I researched the agency and read about the agency’s experiences. From my research, I concluded that I had nothing to lose. It would be a great adventure for me – a good vacation from my TV dinners and watch the paint dry on the walls job. So, I listed the positives for going on an international romance tour:

•At the introductory socials, there would be a high ratio of women to men, with 8 women to each man. (And Latin women are beautiful!)

•I would meet some nice guys in the group and form friendships with these men who were single and looking for adventure.

•The romance tours were actually good vacation spots and I could enjoy swimming and scuba-diving, as well as exploring an international city.

The cost of the romance tour was $1,500 US dollars plus airfare, so for about $2,700 including personal expenses, I could have a nice vacation. Not bad! Here’s what the tour included:

•Private room in a 4-star Hotel

•Breakfast daily

•3 Socials with the girls with my own personal interpreter

•Airport pickup

•City tour including a date with the woman of my choice

•Beach party including a date with the woman of my choice

From my research, I learned that the international romance tour company had scheduled three romance tours in South America one in late June to Lima Peru and two in July; Barranquilla and Medellin Colombia. All the cities sounded great, but my friend Bob and I decided on Barranquilla because that tour was on July 4th, and we both could use one less vacation day from work and be able to extend our stay in Barranquilla.

Barranquilla is an amazing city next to the Caribbean Sea on the northern coast of Colombia rich in culture, music, and beaches. Barranquilla is a tropical city and the weather is warm all year round. Barranquilla is the fourth largest city in Colombia. But most importantly is well known for their beautiful women who have captured the Miss Colombian crown numerous times. The ladies have variety of skin tones from beautiful glowing brown to a butter light skin and hair from shimmering black to silky blonde. The pictures online looked beautiful. I knew it would be the perfect place to vacation and hopefully, meet some wonderful, beautiful women.

I figured that this would be a great vacation and not too expensive. Where else can go and meet hundreds of beautiful, genuine, and available women – all in one place? How many years of dating would it take you to meet hundreds of women? And, how much would it cost you to date hundreds of women?

For me, it made perfect sense to go on an organized tour. At the very least, I would have a good vacation in a foreign country, and I would get to date some beautiful women and learn firsthand about their culture. Match.com only presented American women for me to meet online. The thought of meeting international women face to face and interacting with them was very appealing.

I visualized how nice it would be to have a beautiful Latin woman as my own personal tour guide through an exotic Colombian city. In addition, I knew there would be a bunch of American guys like me who were looking for women, and I felt sure I could develop some nice friendships with these other men.

Once I decided to go, I was excited and began looking forward to the adventure. I had no problem telling my friends and family I was going on an international romance tour. I knew there was a negative stigma about international introduction services. One hears all these stories about foreign women looking for an American man to rescue them from poverty. And, I’m sure that happens. But, I simply didn’t care what people thought. I had done my research and I felt comfortable with my decision to go. And, I wasn’t the least bit embarrassed about it. I was confident of my decision and looked at it as a fun adventure.

I flew to Phoenix to visit my parents for Mother’s Day and at dinner the first night, I told my mom about the international romance tour. She was skeptical, but supportive. “Are you sure you can’t find someone in Texas?” she asked, while setting the pot roast on the table. The smell was intoxicating and made my mouth water. “There are so many pretty and nice girls in Texas, surely there’s someone there for you.”

“Mom, I’ve tried everything,” I told her. “I’ve even tried Match.com, and I just haven’t met anyone interesting.”

“But, do you have to go all the way to Colombia?” she asked me. “That’s so far away.” She sat down across from me and I saw her look at my father. He raised his eyebrows, but said nothing. Perhaps he empathized with me, remembering when he was single, knowing how hard it was to find a good woman. He was lucky when he found Mom. Not all of us men out here in the world have been so lucky.

“You know I am behind you 100 percent,” Mom said. “I just want you to be happy.”

“I know, Mom,” I said. “I appreciate it and I promise you, no one is going to take advantage of me. It will be a fun vacation and if I meet someone special, then great. If not, no big deal.”

“I’m sure you’ll have a good time,” Mom said. “And those women will love you.”

Dad winked at me and I just dug into the pot roast.

My19 year-old daughter Laura thought I was crazy, but accepted my decision. She knew I liked adventures and agreed that it would be a fun vacation, if nothing else.

At work, for the most part, my co-workers were supportive. Behind my back, they probably thought I was crazy and making a bad decision. I can just imagine the conversations:

“David has lost it this time!”

“Poor guy. He can’t find a woman in the U.S., so he’s going outside the country. Must be

desperate, if you ask me.”

“I’ve heard those women take advantage of you – that they’re just looking for an

American man to take them to America, and once they get here, they’ll leave him.”

I honestly didn’t care what anyone thought. That’s one good thing about being older – past your 20s. I was mature enough to be confident enough in my own decisions and didn’t need anyone else’s approval. Honestly, I didn’t know that my decision to go on this romance tour would change my life. Forever!

Encounter Your Destiny

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