Читать книгу The Heart of Money - Deborah L. Price - Страница 15

YOURS, MINE, AND OURS: MONEY PATTERNS

To understand is to perceive patterns.

— ISAIAH BERLIN, The Proper Study of Mankind

We are all looking for a home for our heart, our very own safe harbor from the often-stormy sea of life. When we find our love, we experience great joy, gratitude, and contentment unlike anything we have previously known. For a while, we feel that we have finally arrived and nuzzle up to our daily lives together filled with moments of closeness and happiness. As our fantasy slowly drifts into reality, with schedules, routines, and the complications that life often brings without warning or reprieve, we begin to realize that relationships are often more hard work than bliss. Of course, this does not mean that we no longer love our lives and our partners, but as the newness and shine wear off, we are left to live with what our relationship really is, rather than our fantasy. When we become aware that our fantasy has been replaced by reality, we find ourselves at a crossroads in our relationship.

This phase of relationship is the perfect time to examine our individual and relationship patterns and commit to the long haul. Failure to do this often results in the development of unconscious compensation systems that can erode the intimacy in our relationships. This may manifest as an increased demand for something external, say a new car or home, to replace our unmet emotional needs. Left unmanaged, this behavior can develop into unhealthy money patterns, in which couples project their unresolved issues, silent expectations, and demands onto their partners. As healthy, mature adults, we must seize this time as an opportunity to create something deeper and more meaningful, which hopefully is why you are reading this book.