Читать книгу Inevitable Loneliness - Deshaun Peoples - Страница 7

The rain pitter-patters on the window seal as lily looks out towards the grey clouds. The passing of houses streak by only leaving their reminiscent colors behind dotted in her eyes. The car is silent as though someone is being choked pale. The sound of the gentle rain coming down hitting the road beneath them brought a graceful tiredness as lily rests her head on the door right below the window. Phoenix sits on the other side with his eyes peered wide open watching everything outside the window zoom by when the king announced “Two days and we’ll be there.” The king looks back from the road for split seconds to look at lily and phoenix giving them counterfeit smiles. Nothing. No noise, no peep, no nothing. Lily and phoenix just sit there looking out the window never gracing the king with their voice. The king looks back at the road watching the street signs go past, the cars now nonexistent. The sight of red and blue flickering lights shown in the distance brings the king to a defensive mode as he sits up in his seat straight. Two men with police outfits stand at the front motioning their hand as for them to stop the car. The king hesitantly pulls over next to them groaning and examining them in the process. Two white males, one with a badge and one without, a weird police car, and no weapons on their hip the king says in his head. They motioned him to let down the window and he hesitantly obliges. As he lets down the window the sight becomes clearer on their face. The officer has a fresh-looking scar across his face that has rainwater dripping on it. The other officer stands behind him slightly bent over rubbing on his knee. The officer at the window stared at the king with bloodshot eyes as he stared right back at him, the two locked in a war of attrition. “You know y’all aren’t supposed to be drivin’ around here don't ya,” the officer says in a hoarse voice.

“Yea we know but we were going down to a friends. He’s a little down the street from here,” a brief pause “I could probably walk and make it.” Lily wakes from the slumber noticing the blatant lie as she sees the two officers staring at daddy. She glances over the man in the window as the other comes into view scratching at his neck violently.

The officer standing at the window turns his head pointing down the street revealing a red handprint on his neck. The king stares at it silently until the man turns his head back towards them looking towards the queen, his glance peering down at her breast. The king takes notice but says nothing only observing the officer quietly. “Hey, where’s your badge if I may ask,” the king says in a cunning tone.

“Ohhh yeah,” pausing to look around “I'm not really sure. I think it fell off but it should be around here somewhere” he says trying to imitate a reassuring tone. Lily stays staring at the man in the back watching him adamantly as he walks back and forward, back and forward. He continues scratching at his neck as lily sees the swelling around it. Phoenix looks at the car they have seeing the front of it the words “Police” strewn across the hood. However, the e at the end is all chipped and looks as though it's peeling. “You should give them a search just to be sure,” the man in the back says with a shaking voice still scratching his neck. Lily and phoenix lock eyes in realization as the king says “Why do we need a search?”

“Its just protocol,” the man replies quickly like he’s said this all before; “If you could just kindly step out of your car I can examine her and my partner can examine you,” stopping seeing the king staring him down in his eyes; the piercing flame of a King. “I don't think I will,” the king says. The man grows adamant and angry demanding “Just step out of the car.” The king quickly looks back seeing lily and phoenix wrapped up in the hug of a seatbelt as he shifts the car into drive. The man who’s been continually scratching stops for a moment screaming “FUCK THIS” pulling a tire iron out of nowhere running towards the car. The crazy sight in his eyes signaling daddy to slam down the pedal, the tires screeching, just as the tire iron slams into the driver side window shattering the glass into shards. The king covers his face as the shards go flying while the queen puts her back in the crevice to the backseat covering the haunted children. They dart down the road leaving the rainwater splashing up in the “officers” faces blinding them for a moment. The sight of them in the rearview angrily pushing each other around at a job failed as they speed off.

As the adrenaline began to die down the king began to suddenly chuckle slowly creeping up full-on laughter. The family all looked at him crazily with there eyes still dazed as he said “They thought they could catch us with that phony crap” covering his face with his hands still laughing. Lily sat wondering why he was laughing as mommy got back into her seat. Suddenly, mommy began to smile and inevitably joined in laughter too after realizing the situation they had been in. The crazed look of both of them putting lily and phoenix in a shock as the watched. “I feel bad for the people that actually fell for that” mommy says looking towards daddy laughing hysterically. Lily slowly grew a smile across her cheek now realizing the joke as she began to chuckle along with them. The sound of her laughter shocking both parents as they looked back to her with wide eyes. “You get it?” the king says in hysterical surprise. “You’re so young but so old at the same time.” Phoenix looks at them all laughing wondering what the joke is while no one explained it to him. He says in a sad tone “What’s so funny?” The king replies “If you don't get it now then you probably won’t get it ever unless someone told you,” looking back at him playfully shaking his head “and I’m not gonna tell you; I’m not sure I could.” Mommy turns her head towards him telling him “You’ll get it on your own when your older, don't worry about it.” Phoenix sits in the back trying to decipher the riddle of the laughs.

The glass lays in the front under daddy’s legs cracking at the sole of his feet as a rotten store comes into view. “We should probably clean that up,” the queen says as the laughs filling the car silently leave. They pull the car into the empty lot of the store stopping it slowly as they looked around the barren landscape. It was full of trash on the floor from bottles to paper bags drugging and dragging in the wind. The car stopped in front of the store leaving a trail of glass across the floor behind. The king stepped out from the vehicle creeping his head around all the corners of the building. Everyone followed stepping out of the car as the rain pelted them across their backs; The sky now growing blacker. The store stood stone-still giving off a menacing presence with its tallness. The feeling disturbed little lily as she looked on at this new feeling of peculiar unease. The rain swept through the sky as daddy pronounced “I’m gonna go find something to clean this up” looking towards the shards of glass tearing at the seat. He walks off into the store alone leaving everyone else to watch the rain sweep by. The doors shut behind him as he walks in to see nothing but carnage. The sight of the store looked as though animals or a tornado had blown through breaking everything. The isles were in shambles as they played toppled over on top of each other, the racks were broken in two, and the lights up top layer dangling with exposed wires. “It really got this fucking bad” he mumbles to himself watching his voice flow from his breath. He begins to crouch around watching his step as to not make a sound but not out of fear but instead out of care.

He makes his way to the where the isle of towels would have laid putting up his shield but it cracks as he sees only destruction atop the mass of a dead body lying there cold; stone-still. The shock sends him into a state of unease as he quickly walks away from the sight scratching at his hands; shield barely intact. The image unescaping from his mind, the sight of a body with its mouth open and bloodshot eyes staring back at him. He walks to the other edge of the store slowly falling as he steps. Tap tap TAP TAP he slowly falls against the wall grazing his head as he goes down. The pressure fills his chest as his heartbeat grows faster, faster, FASTER until he lays silently breathing as his eyes close shutting off the ill shot world.

“Its been a while since he’s come out huh,” The queen says in a worried tone now standing sheltered from the rain. Mommy’s face looked red as her eyes peeled off in the distance staring at nothing. The thunder of the sky shuttered shaking the ground beneath them so much it felt like it would crack. “Let's go inside and wait,” The queen says motioning her body towards the sliding doors. Mommy grabbed lily and phoenix’s little hands and walked in cautiously stopping as they got in. The sight of the destroyed store filled their eyes leaving behind an uneasy feeling. The ceiling towered over lily and phoenix looking like a cracked sky of wires and electricity. Mommy looked down to the little ones in worry as she spoke “I'm gonna go look for daddy,” looking around the store only with her head “Y’all stay right here and I’ll be back soon. Ok?” Lily and phoenix responded by motioning their heads up and down in an innocent way saying “mmmhhmm.” Mommy left them standing by the sliding door standing still as she disappeared behind a surprisingly still standing rack. Lily felt weirdly exploratory giving her chills up her back. The thought of disobeying mommy’s orders and instead of walking around the store. The store slowly turned normal through Lily’s eyes as the racks built back up and stood upright; The shield covering the destruction. She took a step forward walking as phoenix watched her take that faithful step yet he did nothing. His world walked away slowly and so he followed behind her protecting her from behind. Lily walked looking throughout the store reminiscing the times she had been there before. She walks to the isle where the candy was and stopped in front of the hidden carnage.

“I remember mommy talking about how sweets would hurt our teeth,” she says innocently smiling while staring at the candy in front of her “Well looks like we don't need to worry about that anymore.” The words shock phoenix as he looks at lily’s plain face staring at nothing in front of her as her; one piece of hair covering her eyes. He responds hiddenly concerned “I guess not.” Lily looks towards him smiling seeing the color behind him and begins walking again. They continue walking down to the edge of the store talking “this is my favorite place to go on weekends cause I get to spend the most time with mommy” lily says in a sweet tone so much so you could taste the sugar. Phoenix watches her from behind saying “I never come here because there’s too many people”

“That's the best time because you can see everyone being happy” she replies as she sees those same faces walking passed her. The children walk passed her holding their parents' hands looking just as bright as the sun. “I don't want to lose any....” the thought stops abruptly as she stares down an aisle. Phoenix looks at her still body as he walks up to her looking at her in those blue eyes. The reflection of it in them as he looks towards where she is seeing the body. Lily’s shield cracking to pieces revealing the truth of the world seeing the body hanging, dangling, swinging in the deadly breeze. The bloodshot eyes complimenting the bodies' wide-open grey mouth. They stand there looking at it watching it swing as the cold breeze pierces at their back. Phoenix suddenly stands in front of lily covering the sight turning her around with his hands on her shoulders. However, she resists the tug at her shoulders peering away from the body seeing a note in its hand. She shrugs phoenix off slightly violently to phoenix’s surprise as she makes her way to the body. She puts her hands above her eyes to cover the face reaching her hand towards its hand. The shaking began in her hand as she reached for the note feeling the needles pierce her skin trying to stop her though she trigged along grabbing at the lifeless fingers grabbing the note, turning, and proceeding to walk away quickly back to phoenix standing in front of him with the note balled in her hand. Her head fell down in grief for the man as phoenix grabbed the palm of her hand wrapping it in his as he walked her back in silence to the front of the store.

They reached the front and sat against the wall as lily felt the heat creep up her body. “Can we wait outside?” she asks phoenix softly mumbling.

“Sure” he responds complimenting her tone. They stand up and walk out the sliding doors seeing the rain-drenched sky with black clouds covering the light of the sun. Lily lays against the wall feeling the cool breeze as she listens to the rain pitter-pat as it hit the floor. Phoenix lays next to her looking at the dress she wore now slightly covered in dirt and mud as he sees her hair covering her eyes. He reluctantly asks in wonder “Are you gonna open it” as he looked at her clenched hands around the paper. Time stopped for just a moment as he felt the hopelessness fade away but then return as she began to unscramble the paper. Ease cleared through phoenix’s mind no longer regretting his question as he put his arm around his little sister comforting her as she began to read aloud the note quietly. “Why don't you love me, Stephanie? Am I just not enough for you to love or is it just me as a person? I don’t care though because I still love you even though I know you don’t. I still remember the dance we had as I held your hands and I remember my friends' parents talking about the giant smile across my face as I held your soft hands. And the day you asked me what I thought you were and I told you that you were an angel in disguise and I still stand by that. The good days never disappear when your in them. You say that you’re so bad and undeserving of love but in my eyes, the blackest roses still shine with beauty. Anyway, I hope you don't think my death is because of you because it’s not. I'm just so tired of the corruption of the earth that I decided what’s the point of going on. Maybe when whoever reads this they’ll be inspired by my little letter and help the world where I was so fucking weak to do. I hope I can see you again Steph in another world, hopefully. I’m sorry but goodbye for now and hope the world gets better without me and whoever’s reading this can you pass it on to Stephanie if you ever see her,” lily seeing an address and a picture of this goddess of a woman, “Hope you can do better than me and save the world. I sometimes wonder, what does the future hold? Goodbye world.” Phoenix sees a tear coming from Lily’s blue eyes as he embraces her more with his arm, snuggling up next to her. “That was a sweet note” she mumbles to phoenix letting out a silent cry. Suddenly mommy and daddy come out of the store with daddy having a slight limp in his leg. Lily and phoenix stand up seeing their parents head to the car and proceed to follow right behind them. Phoenix walks beside lily as they walk and she grips the note in her hand stuffing it into the ripped open seem of her dirtied pink dress. The thoughts of the note embezzle inside her as she mumbles “I dont know when but i’ll find Stephanie for you.” She steps in the car as they set off down the road once again as lily sees the image of Stephanie’s goddess figure standing behind the car waving them away and putting her hands to her heart. Lily puts her hand up towards the back window and recounts in a gentle whisper “One day I will find you.”