Читать книгу Reconnected - DH Steppler - Страница 15

He was watching me when I woke up and saw the confused look on my face.

“Good morning,” he greeted me.

“Good morning,” I answered.

“Did you get nervous about the connection in the middle of the night; is that why you’re here with me?”

“Helen, you’re here with me, not the other way around.”

“What do you mean?” I said, confused.

“You came to me last night and asked to sleep in my arms. You said you were afraid.”

He could see that I had no recall of the incident.

“Helen, don’t you remember?”

“No I don’t remember anything after we got in bed; I was asleep. Tell me exactly what happened, please.”

“You jumped up sometime in the middle of the night but before that you were mumbling in your sleep which woke me. I watched you jump up like something startled you. You stood there in the dark for about a minute before you came over to my bed. You squatted down and whispered in my ear. I really didn’t think much about it because every other night I ended up in your bed. I was pleased when you said that you didn’t want to be without me and would I please hold you very tight because you were frightened.”

“What happened next?” That was like it happened to someone other than me.

“I made room for you on my bed and then you curled up next to me with your head on my shoulder and my arms around you as tight as possible until you fell a sleep.”

“Did I say anything else?”

I was freaked out over not remembering any of it.

“Well, you told me you loved me a bunch of times before you went to sleep and twice after you were asleep.”

I felt like crying again but that time I didn’t know if I would be able to protect Michael from the tears. I closed my eyes and concentrated on Michael’s breathing and listened to his heart beat. After a couple of moments we both sighed, that deep together sigh.

When I thought I could control the tears, I spoke.

“Michael I don’t remember any of that. There’ve been reports of me talking in my sleep but I’ve never heard myself so I can’t corroborate those reports. The same goes for the reports of me sleep walking – there were only a few. And, shouldn’t I have an inkling of something? I’m confused.”

Michael gave me a squeeze.

“It’s the connect; we’ve somehow gotten out of balance again. We’ll probably need to make a correction in something we’ve done. Let’s put off the discussion until after we have taken care of a few things for ourselves like getting dressed, breakfast, Denice, and that kind of thing.”

“Ok,” I said. “There’s a lot to talk about; we should make a list.”

“At breakfast we’ll do the list, right now let’s go get our showers.”

Enough discussion, we were up and into the bathroom, brushed our teeth together, Michael shaved, I watched. Time came for Michael to leave the bathroom we found that we were still tethered to each other by big toes. Michael removed the floss and left me there to take my shower and use the commode.

I leaned on the door for just a brief time trying to keep the connection strong. My shower was short but I accomplished everything from washing my hair to shaving my legs. I stayed in the shower to dry off and put on the clean underwear (bra and panties) and the not so clean shorts. I realized I’d forgotten to ask Michael if he had a t-shirt I could wear until I got one of my own. I put my forehead to the door and said, “I’m coming.”

Michael was pretty intense with his greeting so the reconnect answered us and treated us. It was almost like a drug and when given the fix the rest was dreamland, perfect. We both took advantage of the moment and were comforted with feelings of peace and balance.

Soon Michael took his turn in the bathroom and shower. While on the other side of the door, I dried my hair using my hands and brush; I put lotion on all of my skin. There were drawers in the wardrobe so I looked to see if I could find a t-shirt to wear until I went to my stateroom. I found a ‘wife beater’ and slipped it over my head. The feel of the fabric on my skin was strange (what hadn’t been strange about that trip?) comforting, sexy.

Michael took longer in the bathroom than he usually did; I had my bag with me so I had stuff to do while I waited.

I started my mental list of things to look at and talk about while we were at breakfast. We needed to talk about Hilo, shore excursion, and how that might be accomplished. Before any of that could be decided, we’d need to find out exactly what was on his mind around leaving the ship either together or separately. I planned to bring up testing to see if we could disconnect without contact or a tether and if we were able to disconnect, for how long. A discussion about the unstable balance that seems to come after we’d appreciated each other in the extreme (the kiss back) was important. Should we try the kiss back again? We needed to discuss the changes in the strength of the connect and what caused the changes and the overwhelming need to show each other our gratitude.

The last thing I wanted to talk about was the fear I had all the time. I’d mentioned it to him the day before so he was aware of what I was going through. I told him about the fear first to be honest with him but second because he may have needed to use the information when examining his own feelings. With that list, breakfast could take all day, but I dutifully transferred the list in my head to paper for scrutiny later.

Michael’s “I’m coming,” was the best sound I’d ever heard. I’d begun to get anxious and fully frightened. When he stepped through the door, I could see the stress on his face. He needed me as much as I needed him. He rushed into my embrace and wrapped himself up with me and we stood still for a full minute again.

Eventually Michael took my hand. “Let’s go order breakfast, I’m starved.”

When we stepped out from the wardrobe we heard a knock on the glass. There was Denice at the slider looking in with her face pushed up to the window and her hands shielding the light rays so that she could see inside. She was a vision in the morning sunlight. Her hair shined and her eyes sparkled. She was wearing a lavender blouse and purple shorts. Her tanned skin complimented everything she wore. Like the days before, she was wearing a beautiful flower in her hair. That one was lavender and purple with white accents – just a lovely vision.

Michael noticed, “Wow, she looks great.”

I said, “Yeah, she always does.”

“Good morning Denice.” We both greeted her in unison. We laughed not knowing that that would be one of the days when we said everything together – like two peas in a pod.

Like the day before, Denice ordered breakfast and had it set up and ready for us. She also brought us the Patter’s so we got right to it, Michael and me to the breakfast and Denice to the Patter. Breakfast felt like a déjà vu. Yes I was pretty certain that we’d had the very same experience at breakfast the day before.

As we ate, Michael and I looked over the Patter just in case there might be a surprise or two but in the end, there was nothing of interest to either one of us. We ate the wonderful repast that Denice had provided for us like we were two starving souls. At one point Michael made me take a bite of his lox and bagel because he thought it was so good. It was good and in return I gave him a bite of my eggs Benedict. He smiled as I had to wipe the egg from his chin. We had all but forgotten about Denice when I caught her watching us.

“Well,” she said, “You two seem to be getting along. I don’t feel so bad about the plans I’ve made with Manny for today - for Hilo.”

“Oh,” I said, “You’ve made plans for today?” It was more of a statement than a question. “What’cha got goin’?”

“Manny has friends in Hilo. We’re going to their place and then some sightseeing and then a barbeque back at their house, I think, then back to the ship. I want to nap in the late afternoon before dinner; not getting enough sleep.”

When she leaned over to pick up the patter that she dropped on the deck, I noticed that she had another hickey it was on her right breast and only visible at that angle. I guess she was having a good time but I did miss her. We hadn’t a moment alone for a ‘girl’s chat’ the whole time we’d been aboard.

“I’m supposed to meet Manny for a quick breakfast before we disembark. So, I’ll see you late this afternoon. Maybe we will get a chance to catch-up.” Then she was gone.

“Alone, at last,” Michael said. “I’ve been thinking we have a bunch to talk about this morning. You talked about making a list; we should probably do that now.”

I reached into my bag and brought out the list that I put together while he was in the shower. I showed it to him and asked, “Is this what you were talking about? Do you think we have stuff to add to that?”

Michael looked over the list I had compiled and said, “That’s a good enough start. Let’s take ‘em in order. The first two are easy. I don’t want to take a shore excursion today so we don’t have to figure out if we are going together or separately. As for testing the disconnect – that makes me a little nervous but experimenting here where we feel safe will be ok. Let’s do the testing after we have a catch this morning.”

He’d mentioned the first three on the list. It was my turn to take the lead. “Do you have any insight into why our balance is so unstable? I can only guess that the imbalance was caused by the kiss back or… wait a minute…before we did the kiss back, you kissed me – remember.” I waited to see him nod in recognition. “Maybe I need to kiss you, not a kiss back, to create the balance again. You know tit or tat”

“Makes sense to me,” Michael said suggestively.

“When should we do that?”

Why I felt so shy was beyond me but the suggestive tenor in Michael’s voice contributed to some already erotic thinking I had going on since I’d found myself in Michael’s bed that morning.

“Looks like you think you’ve taken care of number 5 on the list – the kiss back – I’m not so sure that we can just let that go. Maybe we can address it again after you kiss me and we see if the balance is back.” He was thinking logically.

“There’s a problem with ‘seeing if the balance is back.’ The balance comes and goes and seems to be directly related to how much appreciation we show each other. My observation is that we are balanced when we’re bound tightly together or after we have been appreciated. But, only for a period of time.”

“I think it might have something to do with the reconnect. I feel balanced after we have reconnected after a disconnect.” He laughed at the way he phrased that and so did I.

“Usually we appreciate each other the most after we reconnect but the balance doesn’t remain constant, after a time the balance gets lopsided. I think that it isn’t the reconnect that is causing the imbalance but something else.” I decided to go for it, “Michael can we go inside to the push together beds and may I kiss you?”

“Right now?” his words but mine were right on top of his, “Right now.” We said the words at exactly the same time but his was a question and mine was a statement. He laughed but was up and pulled me to the beds without another word. Once inside, I took up my place on the bed and Michael joined me on the propped up pillows. I sat up looking down at him, his eyes looking up at me in expectation. When my hand touched his face, he leaned into it. I stroked his jaw line, traced over his eyebrows and closed eyes and caressed his temple with my fingertips. Without any other fan fare I moved in close to whisper in his ear, “Thank you.” Then I turned my attention to his mouth.

With my right hand I gently coaxed Michael’s face slightly to the left to put us in alignment. I remembered how exquisite the anticipation was when Michael kissed me and I wanted no less for him. I approached his mouth slowly and stopped before our lips met. Suspended just a hairs breath from the target, I wanted to say something to him to let him know just how much I appreciated how wonderful he’d been to me, to tell him what a pleasure my time with him had been. But really, how much control do you think I could muster? I brushed my lips across his and heard his surprise that morphed into a moan of need and desire. I could tell that Michael wanted to jump in and take over the control of that kiss but he didn’t. He allowed me to show him my gratitude. His scent was so delicious that I needed to taste him so I traced his lips with the tip of my tongue, first on the outside edges and then to the inside. I claimed his lips and in the same motion slid my tongue inside to taste him deeper. Lordy it was a sweet connection. Michael put his arms around me and I laid my body over him as we wrestled with each others tongues. When I caught his I suckled on it. I was pretty sure that I never wanted that kiss to end. His lips were soft, he tasted sweet and musky at the same time, his tongue was agile and kind of funny. A thought hit me, would I be terribly rude if I laughed. Then the thought disappeared as I felt Michael get completely involved. He crushed me to him and then rolled over so that he was on top – a clever and smooth move. We kissed in that bound up position for a couple of minutes and then we pulled apart but kissed quickly several more times before we actually separated.

We were both quiet for a while mainly catching our breath but just like him I needed to know if I did a good job with my appreciation and, of course if my kissing him brought back the balance. I waited.

I waited. Time passed, our hearts beat, and we breathed as one. Michael rolled over to face me and I rolled to face him. Our faces were inches apart, his breath was warm and thrilling, and our eyes stared adoringly at each other.

“You must like me a lot,” he said with that naughty little boy look in his eyes.

“You could tell?” I asked, pleased with myself and unable to keep the happy little smile from my lips.

“Oh yeah …well, let me tell you …um, I’ve never been kissed like that ever. It was like going directly from kindergarten to college. That single experience lifted me to a deeper level of kissing understanding and enjoyment. First of all, the anticipation thing was stimulating, spine-tingling. I’m pretty sure that’s when my chubby showed up; my head was muddled, so it’s a bit hard to tell when exactly. All the stuff you can do with your tongue is a turn on. When it’s all put together with how wonderful you smell, your lips, your breath, your hands, I feel satisfied and lucky but want it all repeated anyway.”

“Yeah, you’re a total pig…” Michael’s laugh cut me off before I could finish, “…oink, so am I when it comes to feeling like that.”

Michael laughed again, “That’s funny, too.”

Clearing my head was difficult but we were trying to put the current between us back in balance – the reason for the kiss in the first place. Michael found my right hand with his left, brought them to the narrow space between us and intertwined our fingers. I felt like I was confined in a cocoon of warmth and love and peace – Ok, I could have just stayed there. Neither one of us actually moved after that for a very long time. We just looked at each other, breathed together, sighed together, reveled in the existence of the other and got lost in each other’s scent.

Michael was the one who made the first move and it was with his lips, he smiled so sweetly. It was the kind of smile that accompanied a good idea. Without even thinking I knew what his idea was and we said it in unison.

“A catch.”

He wasn’t startled when I said it with him, but he laughed and so did I because it sounded like we were a duet. We said it at the same drawn out speed and with the same inflection in our voices.

Before we made our move to leave our cozy little cocoon, we closed the distance between our faces for a natural parting kiss. To our amazement we were suddenly bound together again our bodies convulsing with the power of a united orgasm. Our lips separated and we buried ourselves in each other again, holding on tight as the wave rippled through the both of us. The need to be closer was great, I released Michael’s hold on my hand and used the freedom to cradle his head and get my fingers in his hair. At the same time Michael put his free hand to good use by putting it on my back and pulling me as close to him as was humanly possible without actually dissolving into each other. A united moan galvanized our already electric sensations. There was no use in trying to figure it out; the insistent corporeal pulse had our focus and kept us prisoners in a quagmire of promise and uncontrolled ecstasy. When the shaking and quaking slowed down, we sighed deeply but were taken aback when another wave started. Michael had the where with all to roll me over onto my back, his body on top of mine and we clung to each other with desperation and fear. Neither one of us could tell how long the multiple orgasm incident lasted but at the time I thought it would never end.

Our fears were for not because it did end, very slowly, very sweetly and it left us with a memory beyond anything we had ever experienced. We felt loved and cherished but also confused. When our breathing reached a level somewhat normal, we started laughing. We laughed a laugh of delight and surprise, surprised that we were still alive. We knew that what we had was the most unique relationship and the rarity of it was reason enough to protect it. Neither one of us wanted to figure it out, to sully it with discussion and dissection, we only wanted to remember the beauty and thrill and to be able to bring it back to feel and experience again, if at all possible.

Our eyes smiled at each other through our laughter. It was a silent signal that all was well.

“A catch,” we said simultaneously and the, “Jinx” continuing our duet. There was more laughter as we collected ourselves enough to stand up and head for the balcony.

As we walked to the balcony hand in hand, our being together wasn’t just a need anymore, it was a personal desire. We wanted to be together, we wanted to please one another, we wanted to see a smile on the face of the other, we wanted to sink into each other and know that the other wanted it, too. It was a change but not the change I’d been looking for.

Standing at the rail staring out at the big island of Hawaii, we were decompressing in silence. I moved close and put my head on his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist. Michael automatically pulled me to him. We just stood there breathing together and feeling the contentment that came with our closeness.

After a few minutes, I dropped my hold on him and stepped a single step away from him to look into his eyes. We were still connected without any contact – another new development. Michael looked at me with concern but also had a “what do you know about that” smile on his fabulous face.

By no means was I in the mood to experiment but I needed to know if we would stay connected at a greater distance. I took another step away from him and he did the same. We stood like figurines without movement to feel for the connection. Yes! We were still connected. We both took another tentative step away from each other and stopped again gauging the strength of the connection.

Before we knew it we were setting up our lounge chairs for a catch – a catch without a tether but with a strong connection. We were both giddy with anticipation for the game.

Our catch was fast – the way the game was supposed to be. Michael played like he’d been doing it for years and I could tell that he finally lost the fear of hurting me as he put some true velocity on his pitches. Little did he know that I reveled in the faster game; I loved the real competition. Michael wanted to win but if he won, I’d lose and I would not let that happen. If he did win, he’d have to do it with me playing as hard as I could all the way. He’d have to earn the win; it wasn’t in me to let up and give it to him.

After about an hour of intense catch, we both asked, “Hungry?” and then answered, “Starved.” Laughing, Michael caught the last throw, got off his chair, walked to me tossing the object in the air casually. When he reached my location, I intercepted it on the descent. We both chuckled. Michael took my hand and assisted me as we left the balcony to order lunch.

He made the call to room service and I pointed to what I wanted from the menu. My blood sugar was low. I found that there were still a few fun sized candy bars in my purple medicine bag. I found a Snickers that I gave to Michael and a Three Musketeers for me.

We ate our candy bars and discovered that they were better, more delicious than any candy bars we’d ever eaten before. “Yum!” we chimed together and started laughing again. Michael held up one finger and put it to my lips to silence me so that I could actually hear his words.

“I think we’re in for an interesting day; everything has changed.”

“Yep,” I agreed. I looked at my watch and saw that it was 1:30. We would be in Hilo for another 4 and half hours. I was concerned that Michael would miss his opportunity to visit the island.

“Michael, you said that you’d never been to the island of Hawaii, not that I would ever think of telling you what to do but who knows when you will be in this part of the world again. Do you really want to pass up this chance?”

His vulnerability showing he said, “I have reservations about leaving the ship.” He stopped and wrestled with the idea of telling me more.

“Somewhere in the back of my mind I’m thinking the ship may have something to do with the connect and I don’t want to mess with it even though just about every move we’ve made today has messed with our connection and proven favorable.”

“Without considering the connection, would you want to see the island?”

I’d been there a couple of times and seen all that I wanted to see so there was no draw left for me but I wasn’t thinking of me.

We slipped into a comfortable silence again and even though I was waiting for an answer, I used the time to ponder Michael’s idea of the ship having something to do with the connect. He would have to give me more information because no matter how I looked at it I couldn’t see the correlation.

“I’m kind of drained trying to understand what is happening between us and don’t want to face any new challenges right now. I am where I want to be. Maybe we can venture out in Nawiliwili tomorrow.” He had a ‘what do you think’ look on his face.

“I’m with you obviously.”

I was thrilled when he used the word ‘we’ in reference to getting off the ship on Kauai. That gave me something to think about and maybe talk about later.

The room service staff arrived with our lunch. Michael went to the door to let them in and I cleared the table to receive lunch. Both of us thrilled at the freedom but were equally happy about the strong connection that remained between us.

Lunch was an animated affair; we sat opposite each other which enabled us to have eye contact much easier than sitting with our shoulders together where we had to crane our necks to see the face of the other. It was so much easier.

We lingered over our meal enjoying the easiness of it all. We ate everything and then cleared the table, putting the entire mess of dishes on the tray and in the hall. Something I recognized while we were dispensing with that chore was that we both accepted the chore as our own. That joint effort created a sense of purpose with no feel of work.

“How about a bowl?” I suggested.

“I could handle that; are there any more Snickers?” his sweet tooth showing.

Searching in my bag I couldn’t find one, so I dumped the entire content on the table. Michael spied the lone Snickers before I did and grabbed it. I laughed. I said, “You might want to save that for after the bowl.” Since that was the last Snickers, I had a mission if we got off the ship in Kauai to replace it.

The pipe was ready for us from the night before. I handed it to Michael, “Green.” I wanted the best for him. He said, “After you.” He wanted the same for me. I put a light to the pipe and inhaled deeply then handed it over to Michael and he did the same. We managed the routine in comfortable silence until we met dust.

I needed to use the bathroom and got up to go when I heard Michael behind me, “Is that my shirt?” an odd edge to his voice.

“Oh wow, yeah, I forgot to ask if I could borrow it until I got a clean one from my own cabin. I’m so sorry.” My slip in etiquette felt like a mini betrayal.

“Is it ok, I’ll go right now and get a clean shirt and I’ll get this one laundered, really I’m so sorry? It’s just that I didn’t have a clean shirt to wear after my shower and I didn’t want you to see me in just my bra. Of course, now I wouldn’t mind one bit.”

So, in front of him I pulled the shirt over my head tossed it to him, smiled, and made my way to the bathroom.

In the reflection of the window I saw Michael bring the shirt to his face and inhale deeply. He didn’t follow but I felt his eyes on me and the pleasure of his continual pull on my senses.

After taking care of my business I scrutinized my face in the mirror. “What’s with the grin?” I asked myself. I looked closely into my eyes but I was seeing his eyes smiling back at me. If I could keep those eyes for my own, he would always be with me. I directed my focus to my hair. It was shining and soft, a bit messed up but still a nice compliment to my newly tanned face. I brushed my teeth, washed my hands, and applied lotion then headed back to the balcony.

Michael had his eyes closed listening to classical music when I returned so I decided to go next door and get a clean shirt. Before I got through the skinny door I heard Michael ask, “Didn’t you want me to come with you?”

“Absolutely, I didn’t want to disturb your meditation.”

The slider was open the way Denice had left it that morning giving us easy access. We were struck with how neat, almost untouched, the room looked. Michael investigated what was going on in the frig and I moved to the wardrobe. I’d been allotted the two bottom drawers. Not remembering what I’d brought meant I’d have to search to find something suitable.

“I see pink in there; you should wear pink today.” He reached around me and pulled the pink object out of the drawer. It was a little pink shell that I wore to bed sometimes because the fabric was luxuriously soft on my skin. I’d never worn it in public. He held it open for me to put on and I slipped my arms and head through the opening. He pulled it down to finish the job. There was that naughty little boy look in his eyes again. He was too cute for my own good.

My smile showed him I understood that look but I moved around him and out of the wardrobe because I could. It was lovely to be in control of my own movement. My sister said she would be taking a nap before her dinner with Manny, it was nearly 4, and I’d rather be on the balcony when she returned. Even though it wasn’t necessary, Michael took my hand. Before we got to the slider he stopped me and asked if I needed to get anything else.

“Like what?”

“You should collect what you need for tonight and for tomorrow morning and maybe even what you’d need to get off the ship and go into Nawiliwili.” He said it like ‘oh, duh.’

Confused yet again, wondering why now that we could suffer a disconnect because we were still connected, didn’t he use the freedom to be free of me – that’s odd but accurate – so, hello and welcome to our own private twilight zone.

He watched the confusion on my face awhile before he had an inkling of why. Wow, I thought I was slow but I wondered if my slowness was as endearing to everyone else as his was to me. I liked the idea that he just assumed that I would sleep over again and shower and get ready for the shore excursion with him – that we would be together even though we were not bound by anything visible.

“Helen,” he sighed my name like it was a plea. “Don’t you think there have been enough changes for the day?”

“Well, since you put it that way, like I said before, I’m with you. I thought you might want some private time was all.”

I gathered everything I needed and headed for the balcony again. Beside me, Michael said, “I found this giant bag of peanut m&ms; can I take it?”

“Didn’t you see the bag with the plain m&ms?”

“Well, yeah, but I figured that would be too greedy.” Michael laughed. “We know where to find ‘em.”

Once through the skinny door, I felt at home and for a moment took the time to appreciate what that place had been to me. I was flooded with gratitude filled with emotion and needed to find a way to express it all.

I put my things neatly away in his wardrobe, Michael still holding my hand. I pulled him to the bed. “I’d like an afternoon nap, how about you?”

My heart skipped a beat when he flashed that naughty little boy look at me. “Oh God.”

Was it because we were creatures of habit or was it because it was what we knew that we started, like before, on our backs and rolled into each other, recreating our last encounter? Our hearts beat as loud as drums in the quiet. We inhaled deeply taking in the essence of our connection. It was good. It was really good. We thought we knew what was coming; we tingled with the anticipation of it.

There was seriousness in our eyes. We sighed “Good night” in unison and leaned in to each other for the kiss that accompanies the phrase. The current grabbed us the very second our lips met, driving us to quench our need and give to each other in the greatest measure. Enthralled, we waited for the expected wave. Instead we discovered the wave was different, it came from 3 different directions at once, met in the middle, and brought on a battle of internal undulations that passed through one and into the other and back again. We tightened our hold on each other but didn’t want to miss any of it. I can tell you, we were both stunned beyond what we had experienced earlier in the day. Every nerve end in my body was set on fire with live electricity until it was absorbed into the dance like trembling pulses bouncing around inside of me. My mouth watered and then was dry again. We both sighed, our deep together sigh, and it began again. The heat emanated from our lips and sent hot vibrations in all directions from that focal point. When the heat reached our fingers and toes the feeling changed, morphed into an internal smooth mush, a softness replete with sincerity cradled in a tenderness that was breathtaking and heart breaking. I wanted to kiss him again but I didn’t dare. The need to demonstrate my deepest appreciation surfaced. I scooted in closer, tucked my head into his shoulder and kept perfectly still; Michael did likewise, our hearts beating at an alarmingly fast pace. The acquired knowledge worked as the ride eventually slowed down and finally left us quivering and spent.

“That was off the hook,” Michael said after we were able to separate.

The need to weep was too great for me to completely hide and silent tears crawled down my face – the only evidence that I’d just had the scariest, most intense, and now most cherished sensual experience ever. I sighed, we sighed.

We looked at each other and saw the unbridled passion aroused and spent. I wondered if the bottom half of his body was still pulsing like mine. “I’m still quaking are you?”

“Yeah, let’s nap.”

“Let’s nap,” I mimicked him and I started to laugh. At first they were quiet girl’s giggles but as I thought about every aspect of that phrase coming from him my laughter grew. I remembered the touch of fear and I broke out with an understanding intimate chuckle. When I thought about the way he said it, like we needed to pay a penance for what we’d just done, I opened up with a fit of gurgling chortles that blended into his fits of laughter.

We kind of laughed our way to sleep. I slept for about an hour and a half. When I woke, Michael was still sleeping; I took the opportunity to look at him unguarded. He looked like an angel, a royal angel. His scent was stronger than ever, the wild honeysuckle was there in the background but the musk was prominent. How could it be, he was asleep and he still held the power to make me swallow hard and have to resist what nature was pushing me toward. I resisted but I also indulged myself with a long draft of his scent – so sexy.

Maybe it was the sound of the deep intake of my breath that woke him, whatever, he caught me checking him out and believe it or not I caught a glimpse of fear in his eyes. My eyes welled with tears from some unknown something that caused the fear I saw.

When he was completely awake he looked at me with concern when he saw one tear had escaped down my cheek. He didn’t hesitate to pull me to him. I could feel the vibrations of his voice through his chest when he spoke. “Helen,” he said my name like he was about to deliver some bad news. He probably felt me stiffen up to endure the impact.

“I hate to be the one to say this but, we’d better be careful, I believe that we could kill each other.”

There was that fear I’d seen not a minute earlier. But he was right, I knew it, I only had to remember how fast our hearts were beating to know that it was off the cardiologist’s chart.

“That’s disappointing,” I said.

“This is certainly an odd turn of events, wouldn’t you say?”

“We have a lot to discuss but let’s just table it until after dinner and we recuperate more adequately. Would that be ok with you?”

The entire ordeal left me feeling vulnerable and worried that he might shut me out. The worry vanished in the comfort of his arms and the strength of his intent.

“Thank you Michael.” I whispered into his ear. We sighed together and then stayed motionless to allow the connect to bring calm, balance, and peace back.

We were comforted to know that our method of decompressing was still working. When we separated, I needed to freshen up and made a bee line to the bathroom. My face was radiant; I nearly glowed. I handled my business, washed my hands, lotion-ed up.

Michael was ordering dinner. Sounded like it was a lot of food, good, I was hungry.

I went directly to the slider to free us of the barrier to the outside. When I opened it, I saw Denice coming in through the balcony door. I stepped out to the rail where she met me.

“Did you nap? We left you alone so you could.” I asked.

“Yeah, I did thanks. I couldn’t guess it was this and I’m also late, catch up then?” Another short example of Deanese.

“Let me know the next time you are in the cabin and need to go pee, I’ll go with you so we can talk.” I teased. “Before you run, yes or no have you made plans for Nawiliwili?”

“Yes.” And over her shoulder as she left, “Thanks for the use of your necklace again not to mention my dress. I love them so.”

We laughed as she let her legs run ahead of her and all that was left was her head turned our way blowing us kisses. What a beautiful clown. She was wearing a pale blue cocktail dress, a sleeveless empire line that showed a lot of skin in the back. It was a gift I’d made her just for the trip. She had a single white plumaria blossom at her right ear. She was just stunning.

“So,” Michael turned to me, “You made that dress, too? You really are talented.” He said it like he was bragging and proud of me.

“It looked good on her, didn’t it? She’s fun to sew for. Her size is so perfect I barely need to alter a pattern.”

“What do you mean ‘alter a pattern?’ Michael asked.

“A pattern – pieces of very light weight paper that you lay over the top of the material to aid in cutting the necessary shapes of fabric to stitch together. The patterns are made for regular sizes. If there is no pattern with the right size, you have to alter the pieces of the pattern to account for the variation in measurements to enable you to cut the correct size pieces of fabric to be sewn together – all of this in order to fit the alternative sized person correctly.”

I played that back in my head quickly and realized why Henry tuned me out. He was totally uninterested in any thing like sewing at all. As a matter of fact when I sewed for him, he complained of having to try things on during the building process. I just thought that he trusted my judgment and didn’t like being interrupted; I’d always interrupted him at the wrong time.

“Did you have to alter the pattern for your blue dress?” He asked, remembering that I had made my beautiful blue dress.

“I didn’t use a ready made pattern for any of the dresses I made for this trip. They were each either my design or Denice’s design and we made the patterns for them.”

Dinner arrived, we ate in relative silence, enjoying our food and the nice white wine Michael ordered. The evening closed in around us. Michael played some 70’s music as background. Some of the tunes made us sway so we decided to clear the balcony and dance. That was another night I would never forget for I closed my eyes only briefly to register that I would need to recall it all at a future date.

Since we knew each other better, our dancing was better. He led me around the balcony with the grace of Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly. There couldn’t have been a better partner for me. I understood every nuance in the pressure of his hand on me. I could anticipate his objectives and was always ready for what ever move he wanted to execute. Our symbiotic style was a picture of unison, an evenly matched duo of completeness.

We danced until we were nearly taken with sleep. The slow dances enabled us to sway and move only minimally helping to reserve as much energy as possible to continue the dance and stay in each others arms.

When the final song ended, I turned off the player and headed for the bathroom and the wardrobe. I put on the clean silk pajamas that Denice must have laundered for me, brushed my teeth and washed my hands and face, lotion-ed up and headed back to the balcony.

Michael had prepared our lounge chair beds side by side with the small table between them, music playing softly, a candle burning and he had put a candy on each of our pillows.

I waited at the rail for Michael to finish in the bathroom. I didn’t know if he had some kind of ceremony planned – well, I saw the candle and I wondered.

When he joined me at the rail, he was wearing a pear of boxer shorts and had two bottles of water in one hand.

He led me to bed; we sat, ate our candy, and resisted the urge to kiss each other good night. Michael had an idea and altered things by planting his good night kiss on my neck that sent a shiver through me and then through him. We both froze; when all was settled down we took up our cots and made sweet talk until we fell asleep.