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You may also have access to hard data about how others perceive you, namely, performance reviews from your job (or previous ones). Not every employer has its act together enough to require formal sit-downs and evaluations, so don’t worry if it’s just not available. But especially in larger organizations, you’re likely to have a paper trail. (If you’ve applied to graduate programs or for specific fellowships, you may also have access to recommendation letters others have written for you, which are a treasure trove of intelligence.)

First, gather the material, and then take a step back. You’re going to have opinions about everyone who’s written a word about you. Maybe your former boss claimed you were fanatically detail-oriented, but you only acted that way because she was so disorganized; nothing would have gotten done if you hadn’t taken the reins. Maybe your grad school professor criticized you for being late on a few assignments, but didn’t take into account that your dad was diagnosed with cancer that semester.

It’s natural to get defensive when you see yourself evaluated on paper and attempt to justify any criticisms. Try not to. We’re not concerned with one person’s hobbyhorse issue (“Jeff is a great employee, but he keeps confusing ‘there’ with ‘their’ in his memos!”). It’s when everyone (or almost everyone) says your spelling, your micromanaging, or your lateness is a problem that you should take it seriously, and do the same with your strengths. (Stein, the former Radcliffe career counselor, observes that her clients are often keenly aware of their weaknesses, and find it much harder to appreciate their positive attributes.)