Читать книгу Reinventing You - Dorie Clark - Страница 19

One caveat is to be aware of the “likability conundrum.” Harvard Business School Professor Amy Cuddy notes that many people view warmth and competence as “inversely related”—that is, if you’re very nice, you must be a little dumb.⁴ That’s bad news for female executives, who are often stereotyped as, and culturally trained to be, extremely warm.

Indeed, a study in a psychology journal revealed that in performance evaluations of junior attorneys at a Wall Street law firm, “technical competence was more heavily weighted in men’s numerical ratings,” as compared to interpersonal warmth for the female attorneys.⁵ Thus, while the women were lauded much more effusively in the comments section, the men received higher overall numerical ratings (and you can guess which was given more weight in determining promotions).

I remember once overhearing a reference interview for a woman named Kelly, whose former boss praised her as “a wonderful girl” with a “terrific personality” and who was a “delight to work with.” It was clear the boss thought highly of Kelly and wanted to help her win this coveted new job. But at the end of the interview, Kelly sounded very nice—and very weak. No man would ever be described in those terms, and if she were up against a male candidate whose reference instead praised his “extraordinary competence” and “passion for winning,” I was pretty sure I knew who’d get the job.

So be on the lookout for stereotypes that may crop up. They may or may not be accurate (every woman isn’t warm, every Frenchman isn’t aloof, every gay man isn’t witty), but they’re probably shaping how others view you.