Читать книгу Birth Order & You - Dr. Ronald W. Richardson & Lois A. Richardson - Страница 10

Sex^[1] adds another important dimension to birth order characteristics. Although all children who share the same birth position in their families will have some characteristics in common, they will differ according to their sex and the sex of others in their family.

Each succeeding child is treated by, and relates to, parents and siblings differently according to the sex of each of them. A boy born into a family of boys will see himself and, ultimately, the world in a different way from a boy born into a family of girls. This continues to be the case even in these days of increased equality for women and despite the professed belief of many parents in non-sexist childrearing.

Just about the first question the parents and everyone else asks about a newborn is “What is it?” They aren’t asking if it’s a puppy or a pony; they’re asking what sex it is, in part so they know how to think of it and how to treat it. Research has shown that, from the moment of birth, girl infants are treated differently from boy infants. For instance, they are handled more gently and talked to more often. In one study, volunteers were asked to play with different infants. Each baby was first dressed as a boy and then as a girl. The volunteers thought there were two different babies each time, and they played with and talked to them in very different ways, according to the sex the babies were dressed as.

Sex is also a factor when the parents want a child of one sex and end up with the opposite. For example, in a family where a third girl is born to parents ardently wanting a boy, the impact on that girl’s experience in the family and her sense of self can be very strong. The impact usually shows in one of two ways: she is either treated as a disappointment and ignored to some extent or is groomed to become the “boy” of the family.

And, of course, genetic research is increasing our understanding of biological differences between the sexes.