Читать книгу Birth Order & You - Dr. Ronald W. Richardson & Lois A. Richardson - Страница 6

One of the greatest determinants of a child’s personality development is the happiness level of the parents. The personal and marital fulfillment and contentment of the parents may be at a different level at each child’s birth, and this will affect how they are as parents as well as the emotional atmosphere in the home.

A newly wed couple may be more loving to each other than a disillusioned couple suffering from the seven-year itch. A younger couple may still be working out their differences and power struggles and adjusting to each other, while an older couple may have made their peace with each other. A struggling student couple or a couple concerned about getting a career started will be different kinds of parents at that stage than they are when more established and comfortable.

The parents of later-born children have usually settled into their social roles and are more secure in their career directions. For each succeeding birth, the current family members bring a higher level of maturity to the experience of being a parent or being an older sibling.

The parents may develop somewhat different parenting styles between children. The first child is usually born to a youngish couple, with no experience in childrearing. The two of them now have to make space in their lives for a third (very demanding) person. It is normal for these parents to be anxious and uncertain with a tendency to focus much more attention on this child than they do on later children.

When the second child is born, the parents have some experience behind them. They are usually more relaxed about parenting and also less impressed with the child’s stages of development (first words, first steps, first whatever). So the child who comes later tends to get less pressure but also less attention and affirmation for similar accomplishments.

When there are many years between the births of siblings, even things like a change in the prevailing theories of childrearing can make a difference in the way the siblings are raised.