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The way you relate as an adult to the opposite sex is influenced in part by your relationship with your opposite-sex parent. And that relationship is affected to some degree by your parent’s birth order.

The oldest brother of brothers, for example, may have more conflict with a mother who is the oldest sister of sisters than he would with a mother who was the youngest sister of brothers. The conflict in his relationship with his mother may make it even more difficult for him to relate well to other women in his life.

Your opposite-sex parent’s birth order has the most influence on you when your siblings are the same sex as you. In this situation, your parent is the chief clue you have about relating to the opposite sex. The quality of your relationship is likely to be repeated in your other relationships with the opposite sex. For example, if you have no brothers and your father is the youngest of four brothers, you may grow up seeing men as slightly childish, playful, and maybe irresponsible, with little understanding of women. This perception is likely to affect your approach to other males in your life. If, however, you have an older brother who is a high achiever and very responsible, this will color your picture of what men are like.

While your same-sex parent acts as a role model for how you behave as a male or a female, your opposite-sex parent has a greater influence on your self-image. Thus, a mother who is the youngest sister of a brother may be more admiring and supportive of her son and his maleness than an oldest-sister-of-sisters mother who has little understanding of men and little respect for “juniors.”