Читать книгу General Impressions - Edmée Elizabeth Monica Dashwood - Страница 4
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At the Other End.
General Impression that the unloading of the Vans is being done on a curious system that leads to the immediate appearance of a rocking-horse, a quantity of flower-vases, hundreds of Drawers divorced from their Tables, one broken chair, five Bedside Tables, and the total inaccessibility of everything else.
THE FOREMAN. The Ash is coming out now, sir. Where would you like it put?
THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE. Is that the Large Wardrobe?
THE F. The ash suite, sir—that has the crack in the panel, and the leg of one chair broke.
General Impression that he is wisely introducing the mention of these calamities at a moment when they will pass comparatively unperceived.
THE LADY OF THE HOUSE. I don't see the China Cabinet, anywhere. If we could get at the China Cabinet, I do believe we should have all the Drawing-room things in the Drawing-room.
OLD BAKER (encouragingly). That's right, mum. All the heavy stuff is in the drawing-room. There's only the carpet to come now.
THE COOK. If you please, madam, me and Sarah are very sorry, but we think we'd better tell you at once as we don't intend to stay. We don't feel the house is likely to suit us, either of us....
THE CAT (unexpectedly appearing between the Foreman's feet just as he is lifting up a roll of carpet that apparently weighs five ton and measures sixty feet long, and which will be disposed of on the top of the drawing-room furniture, instead of underneath it). MIAOW!
GENERAL IMPRESSION OF THE ZOO
General Impression that Whatever we want to look at is a very long way from where we are now, and if only we could see a keeper, he might direct us—but when we do, and he does, it's all rather vague and complicated, and there are so many things on the way to distract our attention, that we can't remember if he said Past the Monkey-house and right round to the left of the Smaller Mammals, or Through the Tunnel, and just behind the Kangaroos.
AN UNCLE. And now, Peter, here are the lions at last.
PETER. They're not so large as I thought they'd be.
THE U. (raising his voice for the benefit of adjacent strangers). You'd think them large enough, my boy, if you'd been with me in Africa, never knowing whether one was going to spring up from behind a rock and make a rush for you. I remember once, when I was out——
PETER. But I know that story, Uncle. I wish you'd tell me one about pirates, instead.
In the Monkey-house.
A PERSON WITH A SMATTERING OF SCIENCE. Well, I must say, it does make you see what Darwin meant, doesn't it?
HIS COMPANION (austerely). I can't say I care about Darwin, myself.
Unescapable General Impression, as the Blue-bottomed Ape dawns upon the view, that this is a not altogether unreasonable prejudice.
THE PERSON WITH THE S. OF S. You may not care about it, ole man, but what I say is, you can't get away from the Proven Facts. You and me may act like civilized beings now, but there was a time when we looked exactly like these little fellows here, and behaved like them too.
THE C. (with finality). Not in my case, there wasn't.
