Читать книгу The Story of My Life - Egerton Ryerson - Страница 10

July 2nd.—This week has been a season of trial. I have left my Father's house once more, and arrived on my Circuit.

July 3rd.—Sabbath.—I have preached twice to-day in Niagara for the first time; felt very embarrassed, but my trust was in God, and my prayer to Him for assistance.

July 4th.—This evening I have been distressed in mind on account of leaving my parents. My heart melts within me when I think of my Father's faltering voice, when lying on his bed he said, "Good-bye, Egerton," and reached forth his trembling hand, saying by his countenance that he never expected to see his son a resident in his house again. He laid himself back in his bed in apparent despair, no more to enjoy the society of the child he loved. Oh, my God! is it not too much for humanity? Nature sinks beneath the weight. It is only God that can sustain. May I endure manfully to the end!

July 6th and 7th.—I have been much interested in reading Dr. Coke's discourses, also Wesley's sermons on "The Kingdom of God."

July 9th.—I have crossed the river to the United States to-day for the first time. The manners of the people are not pleasant to me.

July 10th—Sabbath.—The Lord has greatly blessed me this day. I have preached three times. My heart overflowed with love for immortal souls. Many wept, and God's people seemed stirred up to engage afresh in His service. In the evening, I preached to very a wicked congregation, from Matt. xvi. 24. My mind was clear, particularly in argument, but they seemed to be unaffected.

July 14th.—I have been afflicted with illness, but the Lord has comforted me. Again had to mourn over light conversation, still I think I have gained some victory. I am determined to watch and pray until I obtain a triumph over this trying besetment.

July 17th.—I felt so ill this morning that I could not attend my appointment, but recovered so as to preach feebly in the afternoon. The Word seemed to rest with power on the people.

July 21st.—For several days I have been much interested in reading Fletcher's "Portrait of St. Paul." When I compare my actions and feelings with the standard there laid down, I blush on account of my ignorance in the duties and labours connected with my calling. Did the ministers of the Gospel obtain and possess a deeper communion with God? Did they cultivate primitive piety in their lives, and Gospel simplicity in their preaching, surely the power of darkness could not stand before them! How many learned discourses are entirely lost in the wisdom of words, whereas plain and simple sermons, delivered with power and demonstration of the Spirit, have been attended with astonishing success.

July 27th.—I have been considerably agitated in my mind for the last two days, having lost my horse. The fatigue in searching for her has been considerable. Thank God she is found!

July 31st—Sabbath.—Greatly blessed in attending a Quarterly meeting in Hamilton; also in hearing an interesting account of the Indians receiving their presents at York. Peter Jones had written to Col. Givens to enquire just what time they must be there, stating that as many of them had become Christianized and industrious, they did not want to lose time. The Colonel was surprised at the news, and replied, giving the necessary information. Peter Jones' letter was shown to Rev. Dr. Strachan and His Excellency the Governor. It excited great curiosity. When the Indians arrived, the Colonel had, as usual, brought liquor to treat them, but as Peter Jones informed him the Christian Indians would not drink, he very wisely said "the others should not have it either," and sent it back. How the Lord honours those who honour Him. Rev. Dr. Strachan and several ladies and gentlemen assembled to see the distribution of presents. The Christian Indians were requested to separate from the others, that they might read and sing. The company was much pleased, and Dr. Strachan prayed with them. On the following Sabbath, the Dr. visited the Credit settlement, and attended one of the meetings which was addressed by Peter Jones. Dr. Strachan proposed their coming under the superintendence of the Church of England; but after holding a council, they declined, deciding to remain under the direction of the Methodists. May the Lord greatly prosper his work amongst them, preserve them from every delusive snare, and may their happy souls be kept blameless unto the day of Jesus Christ!

August 1st.—This day I have been admitted into the Methodist Connexion, licensed as a Local Preacher, and recommended tn the Annual Conference to be received on trial. How awful the responsibility! How dreadful my condition if I violate my charge or deal deceitfully with souls! Oh, God, assist me to declare Thy whole counsel! and help me to instruct by example as well as precept. How swiftly am I gliding down time's rapid stream! I am daily reminded of the uncertainty and shortness of life. I went to-day to visit a friend, and (as usual) smilingly came to the door, when behold! all was mourning and sorrow! An infant son had just taken its everlasting flight to the arms of Jesus. He was a fine boy, active and promising, but he had suddenly gone to return no more! The father's philosophy forsakes him now; parental feeling has uncontrolled sway. I recommended religion as the only sufficient support and comfort. I touched on the mysterious government of God; that truly "Clouds and darkness are round about him." yet "righteousness and judgment are the habitation of his throne." I pointed out the happiness of the beloved babe, which should lead us to devote our all to His service, that we might eventually share in the unspeakable blessedness to which the lovely infant is now raised.

Aug. 10th.—My soul rejoices at the news I have heard from home, that my eldest brother (George) has resolved to join the Methodists, and become a missionary among the Indians. How encouraging and comforting the thought that four of us are now united in the same Church, and pursue the same glorious calling. My Father has become reconciled, and my Mother is willing to part with her sons for the sake of the Church of Christ.

Aug. 14th—Sabbath.—Never did I feel my pride more mortified in the discharge of public duty. I was desirous of delivering a discourse, in Niagara, which would meet the approbation of all, after carefully adjusting the subject, by the assistance of a variety of authors; but through fatigue (having rode twelve miles), and embarrassment, I was scarcely able to finish. My heart felt hard and my mind barren, conscience reproached me that I had not acted with a single eye to the glory of God. In the afternoon, I threw myself on the mercy of God; my tongue was loosened and my heart warmed. Surely, "They that trust in the Lord shall not be confounded."

Aug. 17th.—This morning a lady died with whom I had considerable conversation on the subject of Methodism, and on the propriety of her daughters joining the society contrary to her wish. She appeared to be satisfied with my account of the principles and nature of Methodism, but did not like to acknowledge the propriety of her daughters' proceedings, although her judgment seemed convinced as I adverted to the principles of her own church. I am informed that yesterday she said, "The girls are right and I am wrong." How comforting this must be to her daughters, who have entirely overcome her opposition by their kindness, affection, and gospel simplicity.

Aug. 22nd.—Yesterday I delivered a discourse on the subject of Missions, for the purpose of forming a Missionary Society in this place (Niagara).

September 3rd, 1825.—I took tea this afternoon at Youngstown, U.S., for the first time.

Sept. 6th.—Had the pleasure of meeting my brother to-day, whom I have not seen for a year. How comforting to meet with those who are not only near by the ties of nature, but much more by the changing power of divine grace.

Sept. 9th.—Have been greatly benefitted to-day by hearing Bishop Hedding preach from Rev. iii. 5.

Sept. 16th.—I bless God for what mine eyes hath seen, and mine ears have heard to-day, being the first anniversary of the Canadian Missionary Society. The Hon. John Willson, M.P.P., was requested to take the chair. Several Indians, who had been brought to a knowledge of the truth, through the efforts of this Society, were present and spoke. How delightful to see the warlike Mohawk, and the degraded Mississauga, exchanging the heathen war-whoop for the sublime praise of the God of love! This is the commencement of greater things which the Lord will do for the aboriginies of Canada.

Sept. 23rd.—I have this day received my appointment for York and Yonge street. Never did I feel more sensibly the necessity of Divine help. Help me, O God, to go forth in Thy strength, and contend manfully under the banner of Christ! Amen.