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Principles

This is the second collection of Backlash columns and articles appearing in The Wisconsin Sportsman, The Wisconsin Outdoor Journal and the Ducks Unlimited magazines.

I wanted to call the first collection: “The King James Version of the Holy Bible.” I thought it was a catchy title that might help its sales. I had to give it up when I was informed the title had already been taken.

The Editor, against the advice of his staff and his Board of Directors, decided to publish that first book, but insisted I give it the title: “BACKLASH.” He further insisted on its subtitle: “A Compendium of Lore and Lies – Mostly Lies – Concerning Hunting, Fishing and the Out-of-Doors.”

Though I harbored serious but unspoken misgivings, I swallowed my pride and agreed. Now another Editor, obviously cut from the same cloth, insists I call this book:

“Backlash II - Tales Told by Hunters, Fishermen and Other Damned Liars.” This time I must register my objection.

The perceptive reader who carefully studies that proposed title might very easily conclude it leaves the subtle impression that out-of-doors types cannot always be believed. Even such a gentle hint of an accusation that hunters and fishermen might unwittingly tell a fib is an anathema to me. I will not stand for it.

In these days when television ads, politicians’ speeches, lawyers’ summations to juries and used car salesmen are all given the presumption of truthfulness, to suggest a fisherman is 1 lying when he describes the size of the Arctic Char he caught in one of the tributaries of Brazil’s Amazon River staggers the imagination.

The judicial system has fallen into a disgraceful state. Upper Michigan judges will not allow fishermen to testify in open court, even when placed under oath. What is this world coming to?

Surely, anyone who is an active participant in hunting and fishing activities has been acquainted with a sportsman who may have been suspected of occasionally telling the truth. Does the general public know it? Unfortunately, they do not. It is time for us to expose the vile canard that has for so long convinced otherwise rational people to believe out-of-doors types treat the truth with Cavalier distain.

Clearly, a scientific study was needed and I undertook the job. I polled all of my friends - the people who hunt and fish with me. The poll questions were:

1. Are hunters and fishermen paragons of virtue who always, always tell the truth?

- or -

2. Do hunters and fishermen (due to faulty memories or illness) at times (inadvertently and without intent to deceive) occasionally report misstatements of fact?

- or -

3. Other

The results of that poll are instructive. All four votes were cast for Question #1. Since the accuracy of polls is unquestioned, the matter of sportsmen’s honesty is, finally, set to rest. We are, all of us, honest and marvelous citizens.

I hurried to the Editor’s office, threw the poll documents on his desk and triumphantly exclaimed: “See, smarty pants!” I watched his lips move as he read the poll results. You can imagine my consternation when, nevertheless, he still insisted on his proposed title.

It now became a matter of principle. Should I again accede to the Philistine demands and, puppy-like, accept an odious title to my work of art simply because I wanted to get the book published and make a lot of royalty money? Should I genuflect to commercial interest or should I maintain my independence and refuse to allow my work to be prostituted?

I told the Editor he could take his title and stick it. I told him I didn’t give a damn if he refused to publish my opus. I told him I would stand on my principles, come hell or high water, and I stormed out of his office. That was the end of it. Let it be a lesson to you. Always be guided by your principles.

Galen Winter

Shawano, WI

(NOTE: You have just been conned into reading the Author’s Preface.)