Читать книгу You Can Get Your Ex Back: Proven Plans to Stop Breakup and Win Back the Hearts of Your Loved Ones - Gene Morris - Страница 5

You cannot fix a broken relationship if you do not know why it ended in the first place. Not every breakup has a defined point in time where you can point and say, “right there that is why we broke up.”

Sometimes it is that clear, such as if one or the other of you had cheated on the other but often you might not even know why a breakup happened. All you know is that they ended the relationship and you do not know why.

Let us be honest here, you must have a little bit of a suspicion as to what the reason is. There are probably many clues but you just are not seeing them and that is normal.

Unless you know what clues to look for, it can be hard to reason out where the relationship went wrong and until you know why it went wrong, you cannot begin to get your ex back.

Breakups are a very emotional time. It is understandable that your emotions are all over the place after a breakup but a great deal of your chances of getting your ex back hinge upon how you act after the breakup.

For example, if you want your ex back but you lash out against them in hurt and anger, they will probably have trouble getting over that.

What you say and do after the breakup greatly affects your chances of getting back together and the excuse of “I was upset” simply does not fly with many people. It is a coward’s excuse and will just anger your ex. Why does that statement make people mad?

First of all, when you say that, it is as if you are excepting to be forgiven for your bad behavior after the breakup simply because you were upset. Being upset is not a valid reason to act out and everybody knows it.

Avoid using the excuse and better yet, avoid the circumstances that might require you to have to use it! Keep a tight lid on your emotions after a breakup and you will not have to do or say anything to have to get extra forgiveness for.

You are already fighting an uphill battle to get your ex back, do not make it any harder than you have to. Bottom line, the best defense in this case is no defense.

Do not argue or get angry with your ex because that will just kill your chances of getting them back. Put your emotions in check and work on your plan to get them back. Channel your emotions into something positive.

The best tactic to take after a break up is to avoid your ex. If you do not go where they go you will minimize your chances of saying things that you do not mean, saying things that you know will make them angry, end up arguing with them, losing your temper and insulting them or doing something that you will regret.

Give yourself time, and them time to cool off. If you continually beg them to listen to your side you will end up coming off as more of a stalker or as being clingy; two things you do NOT want to be associated with.

If you want to get them back, you need to give them time to cool down and calm down. Your approach about a second chance will be much smoother if you give them some time to cool off rather than engage them in an argument and then ask the next day to get back together.

It does not work that way. Resist the urge to call them, text them, email them or to go by their house or where they work. Also, do not bother mutual friends to find out what they are doing, etc.

Speaking of mutual friends, do not slander, insult, or otherwise speak ill of your ex to mutual friends or to anybody because it will get back to them eventually and that will kill your chances of getting back together with them.

That is why you need to have a cooling down period and as tempted as you might be to bad-mouth them to make yourself feel better, you will be shooting down your chances of getting them back while you are shooting off at the mouth and that is no good.

If you run into your ex, simply smile and say hello. If a mutual friends says that your ex asked about you, tell them that you are well and that you hope that your ex is doing okay as well.

Keep it civil. If your ex contacts you just to check in on your, do not use this as an opportunity to beg and plead for them to take you back because it is not the time.

Be grateful that they are at least willing to contact you because that improves your odds greatly so do not blow them by playing the blame game or by begging for forgiveness. Talk about anything but your past relationship.

Use the time to spend on you. You cannot withdraw into your own little world, go out with your friends, indulge in your favorite hobbies, and/or throw yourself into your work.

Stay busy, stay occupied, and you will be better prepared to get your ex back when the time is right.