Читать книгу You Can Get Your Ex Back: Proven Plans to Stop Breakup and Win Back the Hearts of Your Loved Ones - Gene Morris - Страница 6

Okay, now comes the hard part. Where did it all go wrong? This is where you will have to take an honest look back over your relationship and figure out what happened.

Now, if the relationship ended because the other person cheated and left, you might be tempted to think that they left and so you did not do anything wrong. Can you honestly say that though? What made them cheat in the first place?

Nobody is perfect and there are always things that you could have done differently during your relationship.

Perhaps some of your actions or habits nudged them towards cheating, the point is, no breakup is without reason or fault on both parties and you need to pinpoint where your faults are and what your role in the breakup was.

You need to make a list of all of the reason why the relationship began to go south. For example, when you had arguments, what were they over? What did they ask of you that you were never willing to compromise on? What do you know that you did to anger them?

This is not going to be easy, but you need to honestly write down all of the things that you did or said that could have contributed to the break up.

If there is a specific memory or point in time that is relevant, write down the entire thing. Leave out the things that the other person did wrong, getting back together is not about their faults, it is about them taking you back and if you show up with a list of reason about where they made mistakes that will work against you.

Include on your list all of the things that you could have done differently in the relationship. Every reason is valid, no matter how little or how big it is, it all matters so write it down.

Every argument that you had is relevant and every misunderstanding between the two of you needs to go on the list.

What actions of yours made them mad? What words did you say that you should not have? What do you wish you had done more of for them?

What do you regret doing or not doing while in the relationship? Keep in mind that the things that you did not say or did not do could have been just as much of a factor as the things that you did do or say.

Now, on a fresh sheet of paper you need to write how you should have acted for each of the things on your list instead of how you acted.

For each item, list how you could have acted better or said something different to make the situation better.

Do this for your entire list, being honest. This is important because when your ex does take you back, you need to avoid making the same mistakes again.

You now have two lists in front of you. Keep the second list, the list of the things that you could have done differently or said differently and throw the first list away.

That first list no longer matters because at this point you will not be focusing anymore on what went wrong but rather on how to fix it. Throw the first list away.

From now on, you are only going to focus on list two, the list of things that you can learn from. That is your “fix it” list. That list is your golden ticket to getting your ex back and that means that you will not play the blame game with yourself anymore.

You already wrote down your list and then you wrote the second list, which is your list of how you could have fixed it and so that first list no longer matters.

You need to switch your focus from the past and focus on the future. You will work towards getting your ex back and moving forward and not living in the past, which means no beating yourself up for the breakup because you now have a list of things that you can do differently this time around.

Use your time out period that we discussed in the first chapter to work on staying positive about the future and about fixing things. A positive attitude is key to getting your ex back, nobody wants to come back to somebody who is negative; so keep it positive.