Читать книгу Collected Works - George Bernard Shaw, Bernard Shaw - Страница 38

SERGIUS.

Very fatiguing thing to keep up for any length of time, Louka. One feels the need of some relief after it.

LOUKA.

(innocently). Perhaps you would like some coffee, sir? (She stretches her hand across the table for the coffee pot.)

SERGIUS.

(taking her hand). Thank you, Louka.

LOUKA.

(pretending to pull). Oh, sir, you know I didn’t mean that. I’m surprised at you!

SERGIUS.

(coming clear of the table and drawing her with him). I am surprised at myself, Louka. What would Sergius, the hero of Slivnitza, say if he saw me now? What would Sergius, the apostle of the higher love, say if he saw me now? What would the half dozen Sergiuses who keep popping in and out of this handsome figure of mine say if they caught us here? (Letting go her hand and slipping his arm dexterously round her waist.) Do you consider my figure handsome, Louka?

LOUKA.

Let me go, sir. I shall be disgraced. (She struggles: he holds her inexorably.) Oh, will you let go?

SERGIUS.

(looking straight into her eyes). No.

LOUKA.

Then stand back where we can’t be seen. Have you no common sense?

SERGIUS.

Ah, that’s reasonable. (He takes her into the stableyard gateway, where they are hidden from the house.)

LOUKA.

(complaining). I may have been seen from the windows: Miss Raina is sure to be spying about after you.

SERGIUS.

(stung—letting her go). Take care, Louka. I may be worthless enough to betray the higher love; but do not you insult it.

LOUKA.

(demurely). Not for the world, sir, I’m sure. May I go on with my work please, now?

SERGIUS.

(again putting his arm round her). You are a provoking little witch, Louka. If you were in love with me, would you spy out of windows on me?

LOUKA.

Well, you see, sir, since you say you are half a dozen different gentlemen all at once, I should have a great deal to look after.

SERGIUS.

(charmed). Witty as well as pretty. (He tries to kiss her.)

LOUKA.

(avoiding him). No, I don’t want your kisses. Gentlefolk are all alike—you making love to me behind Miss Raina’s back, and she doing the same behind yours.

SERGIUS.

(recoiling a step). Louka!

LOUKA.

It shews how little you really care!

SERGIUS.

(dropping his familiarity and speaking with freezing politeness). If our conversation is to continue, Louka, you will please remember that a gentleman does not discuss the conduct of the lady he is engaged to with her maid.

LOUKA.

It’s so hard to know what a gentleman considers right. I thought from your trying to kiss me that you had given up being so particular.

SERGIUS.

(turning from her and striking his forehead as he comes back into the garden from the gateway). Devil! devil!

LOUKA.

Ha! ha! I expect one of the six of you is very like me, sir, though I am only Miss Raina’s maid. (She goes back to her work at the table, taking no further notice of him.)

SERGIUS.

(speaking to himself). Which of the six is the real man?—that’s the question that torments me. One of them is a hero, another a buffoon, another a humbug, another perhaps a bit of a blackguard. (He pauses and looks furtively at Louka, as he adds with deep bitterness) And one, at least, is a coward—jealous, like all cowards. (He goes to the table.) Louka.

LOUKA.

Yes?

SERGIUS.

Who is my rival?

LOUKA.

You shall never get that out of me, for love or money.

SERGIUS.

Why?

LOUKA.

Never mind why. Besides, you would tell that I told you; and I should lose my place.

SERGIUS.

(holding out his right hand in affirmation). No; on the honor of a—(He checks himself, and his hand drops nerveless as he concludes, sardonically)—of a man capable of behaving as I have been behaving for the last five minutes. Who is he?

LOUKA.

I don’t know. I never saw him. I only heard his voice through the door of her room.

SERGIUS.

Damnation! How dare you?

LOUKA.

(retreating). Oh, I mean no harm: you’ve no right to take up my words like that. The mistress knows all about it. And I tell you that if that gentleman ever comes here again, Miss Raina will marry him, whether he likes it or not. I know the difference between the sort of manner you and she put on before one another and the real manner. (Sergius shivers as if she had stabbed him. Then, setting his face like iron, he strides grimly to her, and grips her above the elbows with both bands.)

SERGIUS.

Now listen you to me!

LOUKA.

(wincing). Not so tight: you’re hurting me!

SERGIUS.

That doesn’t matter. You have stained my honor by making me a party to your eavesdropping. And you have betrayed your mistress—

LOUKA.

(writhing). Please—

SERGIUS.

That shews that you are an abominable little clod of common clay, with the soul of a servant. (He lets her go as if she were an unclean thing, and turns away, dusting his hands of her, to the bench by the wall, where he sits down with averted head, meditating gloomily.)

LOUKA.

(whimpering angrily with her hands up her sleeves, feeling her bruised arms). You know how to hurt with your tongue as well as with your hands. But I don’t care, now I’ve found out that whatever clay I’m made of, you’re made of the same. As for her, she’s a liar; and her fine airs are a cheat; and I’m worth six of her. (She shakes the pain off hardily; tosses her head; and sets to work to put the things on the tray. He looks doubtfully at her once or twice. She finishes packing the tray, and laps the cloth over the edges, so as to carry all out together. As she stoops to lift it, he rises.)

SERGIUS.

Louka! (She stops and looks defiantly at him with the tray in her hands.) A gentleman has no right to hurt a woman under any circumstances. (With profound humility, uncovering his head.) I beg your pardon.

LOUKA.

That sort of apology may satisfy a lady. Of what use is it to a servant?

SERGIUS.

(thus rudely crossed in his chivalry, throws it off with a bitter laugh and says slightingly). Oh, you wish to be paid for the hurt? (He puts on his shako, and takes some money from his pocket.)

LOUKA.

(her eyes filling with tears in spite of herself). No, I want my hurt made well.

SERGIUS.

(sobered by her tone). How?

(She rolls up her left sleeve; clasps her arm with the thumb and fingers of her right hand; and looks down at the bruise. Then she raises her head and looks straight at him. Finally, with a superb gesture she presents her arm to be kissed. Amazed, he looks at her; at the arm; at her again; hesitates; and then, with shuddering intensity, exclaims)

SERGIUS.

Never! (and gets away as far as possible from her.)

(Her arm drops. Without a word, and with unaffected dignity, she takes her tray, and is approaching the house when Raina returns wearing a hat and jacket in the height of the Vienna fashion of the previous year, 1885. Louka makes way proudly for her, and then goes into the house.)

RAINA.

I’m ready! What’s the matter? (Gaily.) Have you been flirting with Louka?

SERGIUS.

(hastily). No, no. How can you think such a thing?

RAINA.

(ashamed of herself). Forgive me, dear: it was only a jest. I am so happy to-day.

(He goes quickly to her, and kisses her hand remorsefully. Catherine comes out and calls to them from the top of the steps.)

CATHERINE.

(coming down to them). I am sorry to disturb you, children; but Paul is distracted over those three regiments. He does not know how to get them to Phillipopolis; and he objects to every suggestion of mine. You must go and help him, Sergius. He is in the library.

RAINA.

(disappointed). But we are just going out for a walk.

SERGIUS.

I shall not be long. Wait for me just five minutes. (He runs up the steps to the door.)

RAINA.

(following him to the foot of the steps and looking up at him with timid coquetry). I shall go round and wait in full view of the library windows. Be sure you draw father’s attention to me. If you are a moment longer than five minutes, I shall go in and fetch you, regiments or no regiments.

SERGIUS.

(laughing). Very well. (He goes in. Raina watches him until he is out of her sight. Then, with a perceptible relaxation of manner, she begins to pace up and down about the garden in a brown study.)

CATHERINE.

Imagine their meeting that Swiss and hearing the whole story! The very first thing your father asked for was the old coat we sent him off in. A nice mess you have got us into!

RAINA.

(gazing thoughtfully at the gravel as she walks). The little beast!

CATHERINE.

Little beast! What little beast?

RAINA.

To go and tell! Oh, if I had him here, I’d stuff him with chocolate creams till he couldn’t ever speak again!

CATHERINE.

Don’t talk nonsense. Tell me the truth, Raina. How long was he in your room before you came to me?

RAINA.

(whisking round and recommencing her march in the opposite direction). Oh, I forget.

CATHERINE.

You cannot forget! Did he really climb up after the soldiers were gone, or was he there when that officer searched the room?

RAINA.

No. Yes, I think he must have been there then.

CATHERINE.

You think! Oh, Raina, Raina! Will anything ever make you straightforward? If Sergius finds out, it is all over between you.

RAINA.

(with cool impertinence). Oh, I know Sergius is your pet. I sometimes wish you could marry him instead of me. You would just suit him. You would pet him, and spoil him, and mother him to perfection.

CATHERINE.

(opening her eyes very widely indeed). Well, upon my word!

RAINA.

(capriciously—half to herself). I always feel a longing to do or say something dreadful to him—to shock his propriety—to scandalize the five senses out of him! (To Catherine perversely.) I don’t care whether he finds out about the chocolate cream soldier or not. I half hope he may. (She again turns flippantly away and strolls up the path to the corner of the house.)

CATHERINE.

And what should I be able to say to your father, pray?

RAINA.

(over her shoulder, from the top of the two steps). Oh, poor father! As if he could help himself! (She turns the corner and passes out of sight.)

CATHERINE.

(looking after her, her fingers itching). Oh, if you were only ten years younger! (Louka comes from the house with a salver, which she carries hanging down by her side.) Well?

LOUKA.

There’s a gentleman just called, madam—a Servian officer—

CATHERINE.

(flaming). A Servian! How dare he—(Checking herself bitterly.) Oh, I forgot. We are at peace now. I suppose we shall have them calling every day to pay their compliments. Well, if he is an officer why don’t you tell your master? He is in the library with Major Saranoff. Why do you come to me?

LOUKA.

But he asks for you, madam. And I don’t think he knows who you are: he said the lady of the house. He gave me this little ticket for you. (She takes a card out of her bosom; puts it on the salver and offers it to Catherine.)

CATHERINE.

(reading). “Captain Bluntschli!” That’s a German name.

LOUKA.

Swiss, madam, I think.

CATHERINE.

(with a bound that makes Louka jump back). Swiss! What is he like?

LOUKA.

(timidly). He has a big carpet bag, madam.

CATHERINE.

Oh, Heavens, he’s come to return the coat! Send him away—say we’re not at home—ask him to leave his address and I’ll write to him—Oh, stop: that will never do. Wait! (She throws herself into a chair to think it out. Louka waits.) The master and Major Saranoff are busy in the library, aren’t they?

LOUKA.

Yes, madam.

CATHERINE.

(decisively). Bring the gentleman out here at once. (Imperatively.) And be very polite to him. Don’t delay. Here (impatiently snatching the salver from her): leave that here; and go straight back to him.

LOUKA.

Yes, madam. (Going.)

CATHERINE.

Louka!

LOUKA.

(stopping). Yes, madam.

CATHERINE.

Is the library door shut?

LOUKA.

I think so, madam.

CATHERINE.

If not, shut it as you pass through.

LOUKA.

Yes, madam. (Going.)

CATHERINE.

Stop! (Louka stops.) He will have to go out that way (indicating the gate of the stable yard). Tell Nicola to bring his bag here after him. Don’t forget.

LOUKA.

(surprised). His bag?

CATHERINE.

Yes, here, as soon as possible. (Vehemently.) Be quick! (Louka runs into the house. Catherine snatches her apron off and throws it behind a bush. She then takes up the salver and uses it as a mirror, with the result that the handkerchief tied round her head follows the apron. A touch to her hair and a shake to her dressing gown makes her presentable.) Oh, how—how—how can a man be such a fool! Such a moment to select! (Louka appears at the door of the house, announcing “Captain Bluntschli;” and standing aside at the top of the steps to let him pass before she goes in again. He is the man of the adventure in Raina’s room. He is now clean, well brushed, smartly uniformed, and out of trouble, but still unmistakably the same man. The moment Louka’s back is turned, Catherine swoops on him with hurried, urgent, coaxing appeal.) Captain Bluntschli, I am very glad to see you; but you must leave this house at once. (He raises his eyebrows.) My husband has just returned, with my future son-in-law; and they know nothing. If they did, the consequences would be terrible. You are a foreigner: you do not feel our national animosities as we do. We still hate the Servians: the only effect of the peace on my husband is to make him feel like a lion baulked of his prey. If he discovered our secret, he would never forgive me; and my daughter’s life would hardly be safe. Will you, like the chivalrous gentleman and soldier you are, leave at once before he finds you here?

BLUNTSCHLI.

(disappointed, but philosophical). At once, gracious lady. I only came to thank you and return the coat you lent me. If you will allow me to take it out of my bag and leave it with your servant as I pass out, I need detain you no further. (He turns to go into the house.)

CATHERINE.

(catching him by the sleeve). Oh, you must not think of going back that way. (Coaxing him across to the stable gates.) This is the shortest way out. Many thanks. So glad to have been of service to you. Good-bye.

BLUNTSCHLI.

But my bag?

CATHERINE.

It will be sent on. You will leave me your address.

BLUNTSCHLI.

True. Allow me. (He takes out his card-case, and stops to write his address, keeping Catherine in an agony of impatience. As he hands her the card, Petkoff, hatless, rushes from the house in a fluster of hospitality, followed by Sergius.)

PETKOFF.

(as he hurries down the steps). My dear Captain Bluntschli—

CATHERINE.

Oh Heavens! (She sinks on the seat against the wall.)

PETKOFF.

(too preoccupied to notice her as he shakes Bluntschli’s hand heartily). Those stupid people of mine thought I was out here, instead of in the—haw!—library. (He cannot mention the library without betraying how proud he is of it.) I saw you through the window. I was wondering why you didn’t come in. Saranoff is with me: you remember him, don’t you?

SERGIUS.

(saluting humorously, and then offering his hand with great charm of manner). Welcome, our friend the enemy!

PETKOFF.

No longer the enemy, happily. (Rather anxiously.) I hope you’ve come as a friend, and not on business.

CATHERINE.

Oh, quite as a friend, Paul. I was just asking Captain Bluntschli to stay to lunch; but he declares he must go at once.

SERGIUS.

(sardonically). Impossible, Bluntschli. We want you here badly. We have to send on three cavalry regiments to Phillipopolis; and we don’t in the least know how to do it.

BLUNTSCHLI.

(suddenly attentive and business-like). Phillipopolis! The forage is the trouble, eh?

PETKOFF.

(eagerly). Yes, that’s it. (To Sergius.) He sees the whole thing at once.

BLUNTSCHLI.

I think I can shew you how to manage that.

SERGIUS.

Invaluable man! Come along! (Towering over Bluntschli, he puts his hand on his shoulder and takes him to the steps, Petkoff following. As Bluntschli puts his foot on the first step, Raina comes out of the house.)

RAINA.

(completely losing her presence of mind). Oh, the chocolate cream soldier!

(Bluntschli stands rigid. Sergius, amazed, looks at Raina, then at Petkoff, who looks back at him and then at his wife.)

CATHERINE.

(with commanding presence of mind). My dear Raina, don’t you see that we have a guest here—Captain Bluntschli, one of our new Servian friends?

(Raina bows; Bluntschli bows.)

RAINA.

How silly of me! (She comes down into the centre of the group, between Bluntschli and Petkoff) I made a beautiful ornament this morning for the ice pudding; and that stupid Nicola has just put down a pile of plates on it and spoiled it. (To Bluntschli, winningly.) I hope you didn’t think that you were the chocolate cream soldier, Captain Bluntschli.

BLUNTSCHLI.

(laughing). I assure you I did. (Stealing a whimsical glance at her.) Your explanation was a relief.

PETKOFF.

(suspiciously, to Raina). And since when, pray, have you taken to cooking?

CATHERINE.

Oh, whilst you were away. It is her latest fancy.

PETKOFF.

(testily). And has Nicola taken to drinking? He used to be careful enough. First he shews Captain Bluntschli out here when he knew quite well I was in the—hum!—library; and then he goes downstairs and breaks Raina’s chocolate soldier. He must—(At this moment Nicola appears at the top of the steps R., with a carpet bag. He descends; places it respectfully before Bluntschli; and waits for further orders. General amazement. Nicola, unconscious of the effect he is producing, looks perfectly satisfied with himself. When Petkoff recovers his power of speech, he breaks out at him with) Are you mad, Nicola?

NICOLA.

(taken aback). Sir?

PETKOFF.

What have you brought that for?

NICOLA.

My lady’s orders, sir. Louka told me that—

CATHERINE.

(interrupting him). My orders! Why should I order you to bring Captain Bluntschli’s luggage out here? What are you thinking of, Nicola?

NICOLA.

(after a moment’s bewilderment, picking up the bag as he addresses Bluntschli with the very perfection of servile discretion). I beg your pardon, sir, I am sure. (To Catherine.) My fault, madam! I hope you’ll overlook it! (He bows, and is going to the steps with the bag, when Petkoff addresses him angrily.)

PETKOFF.

You’d better go and slam that bag, too, down on Miss Raina’s ice pudding! (This is too much for Nicola. The bag drops from his hands on Petkoff’s corns, eliciting a roar of anguish from him.) Begone, you butter-fingered donkey.

NICOLA.

(snatching up the bag, and escaping into the house). Yes, sir.

CATHERINE.

Oh, never mind, Paul, don’t be angry!

PETKOFF.

(muttering). Scoundrel. He’s got out of hand while I was away. I’ll teach him. (Recollecting his guest.) Oh, well, never mind. Come, Bluntschli, lets have no more nonsense about you having to go away. You know very well you’re not going back to Switzerland yet. Until you do go back you’ll stay with us.

RAINA.

Oh, do, Captain Bluntschli.

PETKOFF.

(to Catherine). Now, Catherine, it’s of you that he’s afraid. Press him and he’ll stay.

CATHERINE.

Of course I shall be only too delighted if (appealingly) Captain Bluntschli really wishes to stay. He knows my wishes.

BLUNTSCHLI.

(in his driest military manner). I am at madame’s orders.

SERGIUS.

(cordially). That settles it!

PETKOFF.

(heartily). Of course!

RAINA.

You see, you must stay!

BLUNTSCHLI.

(smiling). Well, If I must, I must! (Gesture of despair from Catherine.)