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Much has changed in the world of pronouns since I wrote the first edition of 1001 Grammar Questions For Dummies. Change is not always comfortable, but it's here and, I believe, necessary and good.

Let me explain. A pronoun is a word that stands in for a noun or another pronoun. Pronouns streamline language, allowing you to say “George said that he forgot his phone” instead of, “George said that George forgot George's phone.” A pronoun is supposed to match, or agree, with the word it refers to: singular pairs with singular, plural with plural. Gender also matters. Some pronouns are masculine (he, him, his), some are feminine (she, her, hers), and others are neuter (it, they when referring to objects, ideas, or places). The rules for these pronouns have stayed the same. Ditto for gender-neutral pronouns referring to a group (they, them, their, theirs).

The rules have shifted, though, when you refer to one person whose gender is unspecified—a person or a senator or an insurance agent, perhaps — or to a person who does not identify gender as binary (male or female) or who identifies as gender fluid. For more and more grammarians and editors, they, them, their, and theirs have become the preferred pronouns for these situations. In other words, these pronouns may be either singular or plural, depending on the word they refer to. Take a look at some examples:

 Someone forgot their homework; therefore, the teacher will give them a failing grade. (pairs the singular pronoun someone with the singular pronouns their and them)

 Each applicant should explain their reasons for leaving their previous job. (pairs the singular noun applicant with the singular pronoun their)

 Alix arrived late because they were stuck in a traffic jam. (pairs the singular noun Alix, the name of a person who identifies as nonbinary, with the singular pronoun they)

It's worth noting that this “change” in the usage of they, them, and their in the first two examples is actually a return to tradition. From the 14th century onward, ordinary people, as well as great writers (Chaucer, Shakespeare, and Austen, to name three) treated they, them, and their as flexible, gender-neutral pronouns, a grammatically correct way to refer to one person or a group, just as the pronoun you does. In the 18th century, though, influential grammarians declared that the pronouns they, them, their, and theirs were correct only for references to a group. According to these grammarians, the forms he, him, and his and she, her, and hers were the only appropriate references to one person. If the gender was unknown, masculine pronouns were said to be the proper choice. In 1850, the British Parliament went so far as to enact that grammar rule into law! You can imagine how popular this decision was with supporters of women's equality. In the late 20th century, many writers reserved they, them, their, and theirs for plural references but, in an effort to be more inclusive, turned to pairs—he or she, him or her, and his or her — for singular references. That practice often results in sentences like “A student should ask his or her teacher about his or her pronoun policy during the first meeting with him or her.” As you see, providing two choices can result in a clunky sentence! Paired pronouns also ignore people who identify as nonbinary or gender fluid, a situation reflected in the third example.

To solve these problems, the singular they/them/their/theirs entered — actually, re-entered — the picture. And that's why I've employed this usage in the second edition of 1001 Grammar Questions For Dummies, a decision that Wiley, the publisher of Dummies books, supports.

It may take a while to get used to the singular they. If you're expecting one dinner guest and hear “they're on the way,” you may panic and cook an extra portion of pasta before you remember that they is your guest's preferred pronoun, and they would never bring a friend without asking first. You may also find yourself writing for an authority figure who insists on restricting they, them, their, and theirs to plural situations. In that situation, you have some options. You can shift from third person (talking about someone) to second person (talking to the person with the flexible pronoun you):

If you forget to do the homework, you will receive a failing grade.

You can also reword and avoid the pronoun entirely:

 Someone forgot to do the homework and will receive a failing grade.

 Each applicant should explain the reasons for leaving a previous job.

 Alix arrived late because of traffic.

For practice questions on pronoun agreement, see Chapter 5.

One warning: According to one study, English has nearly a million words that may be combined in varied — and grammatically correct — ways. For each question, I provide the most common response, but at times, you may come up with another answer that’s also acceptable. In such a situation, measure your version by the standards I provide in each explanation, and count yourself “right” if you’ve followed the rules.