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Introduction

In our professional experience, at no other time have we seen more of a demand for compassionate, effective, and comprehensive mental health care than we did in the strange year of 2020. The mental health toll caused by the isolating impact of the COVID-19 pandemic, the financial uncertainties of the economy, the divisive polarization of social justice causes, and the doubt and suspicions magnified by political extremes has impacted those without mental health issues, significantly impacted those with mental health issues, and even affected mental health practitioners. We are, after all, human beings whose brains respond to stress, strong emotions, and lack of connection.

We all need to take care of ourselves, and we don’t have time to spend years contemplating our lives. The changes you make today will reverberate throughout the rest of your life. Now is the time to start behaving in ways that are consistent with your values and your aspirations. Of course, you need the help of others — even the most powerful of quarterbacks cannot win without a supportive team — but you can also take charge of some of your own self-care. You don’t need the blessing of others to start changing your behaviors, by eating healthier food, exercising more regularly, getting to bed on time, reducing your alcohol intake, and practicing some meditation every day. And then, when you’re a healthier person, you bring a more skillful version of yourself to your life and to the relationships that you care about.

We have told our patients, friends, families, and colleagues that DBT — dialectical behavior therapy — is not just for our patients but is also a life enhancer for everyone. When we practice DBT, we are better able to take care of ourselves and our relationships, we are more compassionate, and we make less judgmental assumptions. We don’t say these things simply because we authored this book, but because we have seen the benefits of DBT in our personal and professional lives.

About This Book

DBT For Dummies is a book for our time. The world in 2020 — when we wrote this book — was full of the most unexpected of challenges. There was a global pandemic, a contentious election, and demonstrations that highlighted significant divisions within our communities. These are experiences that demand the most of us, and yet can also bring out our weaknesses and struggles.

For those who already fight against underlying mental health conditions, the need to be able to regulate, connect effectively, tolerate difficult moments without sinking deeper into despair, and pay attention to the present moment, each other, and ourselves makes the need for the skills in this book timely and essential. These are skills that, if learned, used, and practiced on a regular basis, will get us not only through this moment but through all future moments, whether or not they are filled with uncertainty.

Almost everything you need to know about DBT is in this book, whether you’re new to the therapy or an expert practitioner looking for new ideas. We want to be very clear that this book is no substitute for expert therapy. Reading it will inform you and give you some good ideas as to what to do, but it takes a therapist skilled in DBT to help you if you’re struggling.

Along our own journey with DBT, we’ve had many patients tell us that they did DBT before and that although we use many similar terms and practices, what we did was different. Many of our protocols will be identical to those of other DBT therapists. However, because DBT is not only protocol-based but also principle-driven, there is also an art to DBT, and that is the way in which it is delivered. Many of the ideas in this book come directly out of our own clinical practice, and different therapists may apply the therapy differently.

As with all For Dummies guides, you won’t have to read this book from start to finish as you would so many other books. If the only thing you’re interested in is how to practice emotion regulation, how to use mindfulness to improve your relationships, or how to apply DBT to a specific mental disorder, the information is here, easily found, and ready to be read and comprehended in minutes.

A quick note: Sidebars (shaded boxes of text) dig into the details of a given topic, but they aren’t crucial to understanding it. Feel free to read them or skip them. You can pass over the text accompanied by the Technical Stuff icon, too. The text marked with this icon gives some interesting but non-essential information about some of the more technical procedures in DBT.

One last thing: Within this book, you may note that some web addresses break across two lines of text. If you’re reading this book in print and want to visit one of these web pages, simply key in the web address exactly as it appears in the text, pretending as though the line break doesn’t exist. If you’re reading this as an e-book, you’ve got it easy — just click the web address to go directly to the web page.

Foolish Assumptions

Dear reader, we make a few assumptions about you. No, you’re no dummy; however, you’re reading this book because you want a clearer, less jargon-filled understanding of dialectical behavior therapy. You may have some basic knowledge about the therapy, and you may have heard that it’s useful to treat certain conditions, but this book will offer a much clearer picture of this fascinating therapy.

We also recognize that no book is a substitute for expert therapy, and we assume that anyone who is in need of help will seek it out, even if they use this book as a guide for understanding. Finally, we assume that readers who are suffering might do so in ways that make it hard to learn new approaches. We value you tremendously and support you in your efforts to improve, despite the obstacles that life may have thrown at you.

Icons Used in This Book

We include some handy icons that you may notice in the margins of this book. They point you to certain types of information, so be sure you know which is which.

We include some text that tips you off into certain directions — this icon makes sure you notice. These aren’t substitutes for practicing the skills as they are intended, but they are reminders that might make it easier to remember a skill.

Although we’d like you to remember everything we say, we have seen time and again just how easy things are to forget. We will repeat things, because we know that repetition is a great way to learn, and if you tend to forget, if you see this icon, be sure to ingrain this information in your brain.

Just as we want you to remember everything we say in this book, and that we’d love for you to do everything we recommend, it’s possible (okay, highly likely) that you’ll only do half (okay, a quarter) of what we suggest. But to truly stay away from pitfalls that can create significant obstacles to your healing, you should heed any warnings that you see associated with this icon.

Just like any expert, we do have nuggets of knowledge that only some of our most persistent patients and DBT junkies could love. But we know that you may want to know more and delve deeper into subjects like neural pathways and brain chemicals. If these excite you rather than putting you to sleep, we welcome you to dive in with us. However, if you prefer, you can skip the information associated with this icon. This is the only icon that points you to information that you can skip if you prefer to.

Beyond the Book

In addition to the material in the print or e-book you’re reading now, this product comes with some access-anywhere goodies on the web. Check out the free Cheat Sheet for interesting information on what to expect from DBT, the components of DBT, and useful skills you’ll discover. To get this Cheat Sheet, simply go to www.dummies.com and search for “DBT For Dummies Cheat Sheet” in the Search box.

Where to Go from Here

At this point…browse! Check out the detailed table of contents and go straight to those chapters that grab your interest. This isn’t a novel that you need to read from start to finish. It’s more like when our children open up the fridge and take the things they want. If you’re totally new to DBT, though, we do recommend starting with Chapter 1.

As you understand more and more about DBT, and maybe even teach your therapist a thing or two, keep coming back to this book and discover more information, which will increasingly be accompanied by “aha” moments, and do let us know. We thank you for including us on your journey.