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WHEN I ENTERED ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, I was twenty-one years old. Notice that I did not say “only twenty-one,” but “twenty-one.” I have never heard people say they came in when they were “only forty-eight,” so why should I be any different? Being in AA for over a year now, I have noticed that people respond differently to young AA members than they do to older members of the Fellowship. At meetings, people will say, “It’s so nice to see you young people here tonight!” To this day, I have not heard that said about the older members or the old-timers. Why not? It’s good to see them too, right? It’s nice to see any alcoholic, of any age, on any given night.

Older members tell me how lucky I am that I didn’t have to go through what they did. How do they know what I went through? The circumstances and duration of time might be different, but the emotional hell is the same or similar. The Big Book tells me that one does not have to drink long to be gravely affected, as does my own life experience. Eight years of drinking caused me to give away everything I had, physically and emotionally. My family would no longer speak with me, and by my own doing, I was forced to live on the street. Having no social or employable skills, I stole and panhandled in order to survive. More importantly, though, I lost my dignity, self-respect, and dreams of ever having a fulfilling life. Did I lose enough, or should I have lost more? The only thing I didn’t lose by coming in so young is years of time. If I was so lucky to be here, why didn’t I win the lottery? Luck did not get me here, God did.

Why do people assume that a person is brand-new if he or she is young? A friend of mine, eighteen years old, has over three years of sobriety, yet people constantly treat him as if he is new. In the beginning, the phrase “Keep coming back” was encouraging. Today, it is insulting. If someone says that to me, it is because they have stereotyped me. Maybe people feel that we are not serious about sobriety, but that is a misconception. I take sobriety seriously, but try not to do that with life.

Young people are not “kids”; they are young adults. Many of us come from broken homes and shattered lives and have not been “kids” for many years. Do not judge us by our innocent appearance, for many of us are far from innocent. Do not condescend to us, because we are intelligent and you damage your attempt to be useful. Instead, love us as you would any other member in the family of Alcoholics Anonymous. What we lack in wisdom, we make up in enthusiasm and spirit. If I said I killed someone because I got behind the wheel intoxicated, would you take me seriously then? How old do you have to be to destroy someone else’s life?

Young and old and everything in-between, we are all in this together. Without the older generation, there would have been no one to carry the message to me. Saying thank-you would not be enough, but my appreciation can be shown by carrying the message to the next generation. We are definitely people who normally would not mix, but we are definitely not normal people. Despite our many differences, the harmony in which we get along and coexist is truly amazing.

Young alcoholics are real alcoholics and should not be treated with indifference, but with compassion and understanding. We should not be treated as special cases or with sugar-coated sobriety. Do not pamper us or pinch our cheeks, because we are the same as you. Our suffering and sickness were no different than yours, so why should our recovery be?

Justin W.

St. Petersburg, Florida

March 2003