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Dear Grapevine, July 2003

When I came to my first meeting in 1980, I was twenty-three years and eleven months old. Most members of that group were age thirty or older. They tried to treat me like an alcoholic, but I felt their patronizing attitude. A few told me, “If you are not an alcoholic in disgrace, you are in time to stop and save yourself fifteen years of the pain we suffered.” But one said, “You are not an alcoholic. Don’t waste your time here. Go outside. Find a girlfriend and take her to the movies.”

The words of those members were not enough to stop me from attending meetings. I knew, I felt, there was something in the meeting room for me. After ten years of drinking, I was ready to receive help. After suffering an internal pain for years (loneliness, resentment, hate—the relief for which was drinking), I was touched by God’s grace and decided to get what those AA members had. I hit bottom in my country, Mexico. I lead my first AA meeting there in 1980. I have not had a single drink since.

If you are a young alcoholic, older members will see you as being different. But it doesn’t matter. Don’t let them stop you. It’s your life, not theirs. Go to meetings, find a sponsor, get into service, until you get what the winners in AA have gotten: a full and sober life.

JOSÉ A.M.

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA