Читать книгу Journey to Creating Harmony Within - Heather McCabe - Страница 7

How many of us really love ourselves, not in the egotistic way, but loving towards ourselves and grateful for the bodies we have. Honestly… not many of us, that’s for sure and I was one of those people.

Once I opened up my heart and began to love myself for me a little more, the more I attracted love to me. Loving people was easy for me as I don’t judge people and see the beauty in all. My learning was to begin to accept love and not push it away as I had done with family and friends, opening up spiritually is how I was able to do this.

Divorce is where my journey truly began. Oddly, divorce is what saved me and led me on a magical path of discovery, discovery of true love, discovery of spirit and the angels, discovery of the true me.

Looking back, I realise I already had a link to spiritual realms and the angels. My first memory being when my father passed away when I was sixteen years old. The week before my father died, my granny visited me (my dad’s mum). She had died some 12 years previous but I could smell the sweet scent of roses and I heard her voice tell me not to worrying that everything will be alright. I remember feeling confused and thinking what exactly did she mean ‘Everything would be alright’? Did I just imagine what just happened?! I forgot about the incident and never mentioned it to anyone for fear of being ridiculed.

Then the following week on February 16th 1996 at 03.15am, my father collapsed in the bathroom. He had suffered a massive heart attack and passed away. It was strange as I was very much aware of the energy in the house and I knew that he was no longer there - his essence and spirit had gone. The best way to describe it is when you come home from work and the house is empty. You can still feel the essence and spirit of those that live there - they don’t need to physically be there to know they are safe and alive.

I could no longer feel the presence of my father and I knew he had passed away before we were officially told. The hardest part was getting used to the strange feeling he was no longer alive.

A month later I was in my room listening to music, - Robert Myles “Children” to be precise and clear as day, I could hear my father’s voice talk through the music. I remember him saying that he was ok and was at peace. I don’t remember what else he said as the shock of what had happened began to sink in. Thinking back, he was probably telling me to turn my music down! I tried to reset the music to the start of the track to see if it was on the music or if I really had heard my father’s voice. Needless to say, I never heard the message again when I played it back.

I don’t remember feeling fearful of what happened. I felt privileged that I was able to connect but shocked that it had actually happened to me. I wished too hard for it to happen again and it didn’t until some years later.

As painful as my divorce was, I had the voice of my granny telling me everything would be alright again, which resonated with me as I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do. I later realised that the pain I had experienced wasn’t for the loss of my husband (the then love of my life), but pain from the fear of change. For once, I had no control over my situation or destiny and this was the beginning of my learning to trust in the angels and the divine.

I kept hearing in my head ‘This is for the best, the best is yet to come’. At that time, I couldn’t see it. “Who would want me now?” kept playing over in my mind and it was a battle of the ego and the heart.

As the months rolled on, I slowly began to embrace the changes. My home had changed as well as my direction in life. I began to study Complementary Therapies at college, something I had always had an interest in and curiosity of. From the moment I began my studies, I knew I had finally found my life’s purpose and it opened up a whole new journey for me, one I quite hadn’t planned for.

Studying a full time course, working part time and looking after two children and a home was a tall order but somehow I managed it, along with the loving support of my mother.

As I have sat here and written about what I accomplished, it amazes me how I ever managed it. It’s reflecting now that I realised I had the help and support of the angels guiding me through and I am so glad that they did. They wanted to push me on as I have a lot to offer and also help people, which, I now achieve through my Complementary Healthcare Practice.

One thing I wasn’t prepared for when I began my journey in holistic therapies and healing, was looking at myself!! In order to help others, I needed to help myself. In doing so, I hadn’t realised how disconnected from life I was.

Up until then, life was just going through the motions but not actually feeling the Emotions! But once the power was restored to me, I began to experience true emotion and a connection to myself - I began to see my true self-worth.

Modalities like massage, reflexology and Indian head massage were good places to start and looked at the physical aspects of me and helped to bring my body and energy back into a kind of balance. They helped to reduce my stress levels, even though I hadn’t felt stressed and I began to realise that I had been pushing my emotions down, rather than facing them and dealing with them, hence the disconnection.

I then began the reiki healing training and what a life changing event that was. I remember being told reiki finds you, you don't find it. I had previously been told by a lecturer at college that I should do reiki but at that point, I had no interest in it and I thought it was spooky stuff and a bit weird. However after reading an article at university a year later about a nurse that had used reiki during palliative care, it struck a chord deep inside me that I had to go and learn how to do it and then everything fell into place. A woman at university knew a reiki master who was willing to teach us and took us all through reiki training, up to master level. I recall my teacher saying ‘Remember things will change and things will happen that will surprise you, but in time it will become confirmation’.

That very night on my way home, I heard a voice clear as day in my head telling me to come off the motorway a junction early. I remember having an argument in my head, wondering where the thought had come from and why I had followed the instruction. As I proceeded to come off the motorway a junction early, on the approach to the roundabout the news on the radio came on - the junction that I would have taken had been closed due to an overturned articulated lorry and I would have had a long diversion! The angels had definitely guided me that night and from then on, my curiosity grew I wanted to know more about the angels and spirituality.