Читать книгу Unlearn - Humble the Poet - Страница 6

Have you ever told a six-year-old to put on their boots and snowsuit? Well, they put on the boots first and then struggle to get the snowsuit over them. When I was an elementary school teacher, I quickly realized it wasn’t always what I said to them, it was how I said it. Kids are empty vessels and sponges, and they soak in so much consciously and unconsciously, until it’s absorbed as “how things should be.” As we get older, this doesn’t change much: we continue to soak in messages, often without realizing it.

We stick to a script that hasn’t been edited in decades, and we serve as both prisoner and guard to the status quo. The thing with the script is that it comes with some big promises, both spoken and unspoken. Be a good person and good things will happen to you; show people love and they will show love to you; play by the rules and good guys will always win. Most of these ideas got reinforced by our parents, teachers, Full House, and our understandable urge to fit in.

Part of that script includes the idea that we need to be more, we need to get more attention, love, significance, Pokémon, and validation. We climb endless mountains daydreaming of how wonderful it’s going to feel once we reach the top. That feeling will be so wonderful that we won’t stop and take a minute to enjoy the view. If we play this game long enough it stops being fun.

And that’s probably why you’re here.

I didn’t write this book to write a book. I, like you, found myself lying on the floor feeling sorry for myself, betrayed, frustrated, and most importantly, powerless. My best friends were NyQuil and this muscle relaxer I still can’t pronounce. My strategy during the lowest points in my life was simple: sleep, and wait for someone else to clean this all up for me.

But the teachers were long gone, Uncle Jesse was nowhere to be found, and all I had was a broken heart, a cloudy mind, and a very comfortable bed.

Just like you, I have conversations in my head all day, and not many of those conversations during this time were pleasant. I made a lot of mistakes, and just like you, I beat myself up over and over, reliving each and every mistake, imagining a life where I could do it over, and feeling everything would have been better then. Looking back, I realized one of the biggest mistakes I made was thinking I was the only one going through this shit.

We can be in a room full of people and still feel alone. When we tell ourselves that no one understands us, it’s an easy trick for feeling connected to something; but it usually just means feeling sorry for ourselves. I was feeling sorry for myself for a long time, until I realized we’re all in the exact same boat. If we’re all in the same boat, why not connect with each other?

The moment I realized I wasn’t alone I began to share the conversations I was having with myself publicly. These conversations came from a version of myself that was trying to make sense of shattered pictures in front of him. As time went by, those conversations became a journey that allowed me to understand and gain clarity about the world inside me. That understanding also brought clarity and helped embolden my message to the world around me.

I’m not here to solve your problems. I’m here to remind you that all you’ve been doing, since the doctor smacked your butt, is solving problems, and if you want to continue facing life, the most important thing isn’t learning the new lessons you have to learn, it is unlearning the old ones we have to let go of.

Sometimes letting go is as simple as telling the six-year-olds to put their snowsuits on first and then their boots, and other times it’s taking the thick marker in your junk drawer that nobody ever uses and making massive revisions to that outdated script we’ve been taught to follow.

We can’t make those revisions if we don’t know where we want our story to head, and we can’t decide our story unless we discover and decide ourselves. This book is the sandpaper to help clear the rust from stale narratives, and the microscope to get a clearer view. This book is here to help you reconnect with what you already know. Like all of us, you’ve just been distracted by the bullshit in life. Let go of everything else. The more of this bullshit we let go, the more room we create to look inward to find things we’re authentically enthusiastic about. Discovering those things that excite us will allow us to decide where we want our life to head.

I’m a lifelong learner, and I have always been the kid in the class who likes sharing his notes. This book is a collection of those notes I took along the way. Truth will always be a hard pill to swallow, so the least we can do is to keep it simple. (Plus, teaching children taught me to keep my words short and sweet.)

I’m not one of those guys who promised himself he’d write a book one day and followed through. I’m the guy who, just like you, has no choice but to stare my struggles in the eyes and explore them before they devour me. This book is that journey. Along the way, I left teaching to pursue my creative work full-time. After many uncomfortable years, I reached success as a musician and spoken-word artist in ways I could never have predicted. I then realized my purpose extended beyond those art forms, and I explored different avenues to bring the sparks in my mind to life. I direct my own music videos and design my own clothes, and here we are reading my book. Throughout this journey, I unlearned flawed, fixed scripts and relearned incredible lessons about life, love, loss, and myself. This book won’t spare you heartbreak, anxiety, regret, or any other kind of suffering; it’ll remind you of just how important they really are. As creators, we all learn from observing, and sometimes our best teachers can be ourselves.

This shit doesn’t get easier, we just get stronger. We become wiser when we realize how much we can learn from our yesterdays, and we become lighter as we let go of old ideas, beliefs, and values that serve no value to our future. This has been our story since the beginning of time. Along the ride, so many things piled up to make it more difficult, but sometimes all we have to do to keep it moving is let go.

Thank you for being a part of this journey with me. Since first publishing this book myself in 2014, it’s gotten so many people around the world tangled in my beard, and has connected us in ways I could never imagine. The most valuable thing isn’t the money you (or the person you stole this from) spent on the book, it is the time you’ve invested in reading it. Because what you’re doing is investing in yourself, and I appreciate being a part of that with my heart.

Thank you for connecting.

Kanwer Singh

@humblethepoet