Читать книгу How to get married and not to get divorced in a couple of months. Manual for newlyweds - Инна Кирюшина - Страница 3

When we have the honeymoon phase of our relationship, we are often ready to do everything to please our partner. I deliberately do not use the word “beloved”, because this is not always the case, but on the contrary, more often it comes to meetings people you like or you need this person for one reason or another.

And we start to pretend we are not in reality: miserly – generous, lazy – quick, dirty – neat, etc. But time runs, and after a couple of months you can observe changes in the behavior and mood of the partner. Most of them are noticeable for those who begin to live together and communicate with a person every day. It becomes an unpleasant surprise for majority especially if you are in a hurry and have managed to “dirty” the passport with a marriage stamp. Moreover, it’s awful if the bride is pregnant or has already given birth and is completely unable and unwilling to take care of the child, or to take care of herself.

The last thing is the main fear for so many men – a fat and scruffy woman at home!

How to predict a similar metamorphosis? Is it possible to influence the situation? Of course, it’s possible! First of all, pay attention to her family: in what conditions did your girlfriend grow up, what was she used to? Neither any wealth in the family, nor the education play an important role. This is a question of habits, education, or personal qualities inherent in the individual. Anyway, it can be corrected. To tell the truth, in the case of habit it’s slower because if a girl isn’t used to do housework, then she will have that standard of cleanliness which was formed in her family or the place she was educated.

If she grew up in a family where certain habits were instilled from childhood – washing, cleaning, ironing – and she liked it and enjoyed it, so in new relationships she will do it without any enforcement, it is natural for her. But if she was forced to do this from childhood, then, most likely, she would not like to do household chores and she would try not to notice things and garbage lying around the house.

And here it is very important to start gently and tactfully engaging her in cleaning. First, together, and always praise for any initiative! Be patient! Even if she dyed your favorite shirt, having washed it with colored things; even if she chopped up a pile of dishes and the cookbook accidentally fell into the pan, praise her for her wonderful souptitles. All of this is not important! The main thing is that she began to budge and try. She is not your mother, she has no experience in managing a house, and it is very important for her to gain confidence in her abilities and skills, and you should help her with this!

Your task is to ignore these problems and praise her too salty soup, burnt cutlets, overroasted fish, awful pancakes and pies, stuffed with uneatable filling. Everything will be alright! Be patient to her work and efforts, and one day you will come to the house with a smell of delicious food. You will look around, kiss your little hostess and praise yourself for your intelligence, courage and pedagogical gift!

Summing up, we can say the following. Initially, when you have only met a person, ask yourself: “Who is she for me?” And if your answer is: “This is exactly the person I want to see next to me in five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five and etc. years ", then a surprise is waiting for you!

The fact is that a person’s character can change beyond recognition and changes every seven or ten years. For somebody, these are years of destruction and adversity, and one person becomes harder, more enduring and stress-resistant, while a different person breaks down under the weight of tests and begins to go with the flow. And your task is to determine who you have chosen for yourself. Will this person be what you imagine him to be? And won’t your girl return again to her habitual manner and habits which are so unpleasant to you? Should you give her any slack?

To summarize: a woman has a great need to talk to you. Even if you do not want to, you need to talk! About everything! Only by asking direct questions and getting full answers, discussing and listening to each other, you can build a real trust relationship with your woman.

And remember that only sincere and honest communication will lead to friendly relations. If a woman realizes that something is being concealed from her, that you get out of something, she begins to feel the danger and stop trusting her partner. And she begins to figure out! And she can imagine such a fantasy that you could ever dream of!